Fantasies and thoughts

What if thoughts or fantasies just pop in on their own, seemingly out of my control? What if I'm just walking down the street and see someone? Or what if I am trying to get to sleep?

The sleeping one is the hardest but my philosophy is that the thoughts just pop in without permission and it isn't your fault. Just acknowledge them and don't fight it. Just let them pop back out the way they left. Thinking is like breathing. If we forget about it, it just happens. Thoughts arise. If we deliberately consciously do it, we have control but only while we focus on it. When you do have control, think positive non sexual thoughts. When the others pop in, say hi thanks for visiting it is time to go now goodbye. Don't be mean or full of fight. They are like a little puppy who is trying to jump on the couch. Just say no and be firm but still loving.

All actions start with a thought. If the thought wasn't my fault, that doesn't take away my accountability for whatever action ensues. Every action I take is a deliberate choice. One of my greatest addiction recovery teachers always said, "All relapses are premeditated." I believe that thoroughly and to the core.

I actually didn't post the statement that everything is premeditated to invite arguments to the same. I just accept it as a fact and that has helped me a great deal in preventing relapse. I only hope to share how I handle thoughts in this post.