Fantasies - Do they fade away?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by FormerFapaholic, Dec 9, 2017.

  1. FormerFapaholic

    FormerFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    Into my recovery from PMO for a month now (at the time of writing). After waking up this morning from having a wet dream overnight. I am enquiring of how long can it take for sexual fantasies and the sexual conditioning change or fade away?

    Obviously, I appreciate that this will take time. One of the biggest challenges I believe is changing the mindset when it comes to NoFap. Re-wiring the brain, clearing up the brain fog.

    Over time, I have become more focused on improving myself and my life. With regards to the chaser effect, I have been purposely not chasing women as well. In the interest of helping my recovery, and combat loneliness as well.

    I’d just like to get some feedback to see how I’m going about it. It’d be much appreciated.

    Thank you
     
  2. Dhampyr

    Dhampyr Fapstronaut

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    ... they won't fade away, alas ...
     
  3. Oskis

    Oskis Fapstronaut

    Long answer:
    Now, I'm not the most experienced, but when I did NoFap Feb-June my fantasies didn't fade away, however, they got less extreme. You can change your habits, get better self-confidence and clear brain fog with the help of NoFap and the other things you do to better yourself, but not having fantasies altogether probably isn't going to happen. However, there's a bright side, as I said, my extreme fantasies disappeared altogether, normal ones stayed but I didn't have them with the frequency as they were before. I asked some friends a while ago about this because I was concerned that the fantasies would ruin my streak. It turned out they also had fantasies, not so often, but they had them and it didn't affect them.

    Short answer:
    No, but you can affect the frequency of which they come.
     
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  4. Chef Boy

    Chef Boy Fapstronaut

    Mine all but disappeared during my 100+ day hard mode streak last year. The key is hard mode. When women, triggers and sex are avoided for that amount of time you don’t think about them in the same way. It’s fantastic.
     
  5. Oskis

    Oskis Fapstronaut

    I'm curious, don't you have any fantasies at all? For example about maybe going out on a date with that girl you like and at the end giving her a kiss, then saying goodbye? Because that would be really convenient when rebooting, never heard of this happening to one before:)
     
  6. Chef Boy

    Chef Boy Fapstronaut

    Several people have stated this happens, so it’s not just me. You have to be doing hard mode/“monk” mode where you starve yourself of anything sexual for several months. Once you do this all porn associated fantasy will dissipate. All that’ll remain is a healthy desire for intimacy.
     
  7. Oskis

    Oskis Fapstronaut

    Oh, okay, so if I want to achieve this I have to stay away from dating and such? Or do you still date?:)
     
  8. Chef Boy

    Chef Boy Fapstronaut

    There's no rule book, what works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else. For me, dating was triggering. If I liked a girl, it triggered porn resembling thoughts in terms of what I wanted to do to her. I avoided dating entirely.
     
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  9. Oskis

    Oskis Fapstronaut

    okay, thank you for sharing!:)
     
  10. FormerFapaholic

    FormerFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for getting back to me. My fantasies have indeed got less extreme over time. I’ve fantasised having sex or a relationship with women I’ve met and seen in person. Not with porn stars or celebrities.

    Over time being without PMO. I have more energy, clarity, make and maintain eye contact with women I speak to as well. Not chasing them has also helped me as well.
     
    Oskis likes this.
  11. the fantasies will fade away. they did to me. 9 months in my reboot. i would say give 2/3 months to get rid of those fantasies. now my life as addict looks like a dream, something that never belonged to me. stay strong and you'll experience a life free from your addiction, a good and happy life :)
     
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  12. Dr_prof

    Dr_prof Fapstronaut

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    They do fade over time. Our brains are plastic and change as we do.
     
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  13. Empty Red Cloud

    Empty Red Cloud Fapstronaut

    They fade in and out. With longer periods of free time based on what you do with your life. Boredom and loneliness brings the sexual fantasy back into focus. Active engagement in a fulfilling lifestyle makes the fantasy fade away.
     
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  14. Rob_B_

    Rob_B_ Fapstronaut

    Not entirely sure what you mean by 'fantasies' - are we talking about seeing a good-looking woman and thinking "yeah, I could hit that..." (sorry for being crude), or are talking some elaborate mental porn movie playing in your mind? My issue is the latter, I've got a number of scenarios perfectly scripted, cast and beautifully edited, all ready to play in my mind at the push of a button. I'd say they're even more effective for me, sometimes at least, than visual porn. Which SUCKS, big time, as I can't exactly cut off my own head.

    For me (and I realise this is just my experience, probably different for everyone), I have found it easier with time to stay away form these Psubs of mine. In the first week of my reboot, they kept sneaking up on me, and I had to make a conscious and constant effort to stop them, and to shift my mind somewhere else. Then they started getting fewer and further between, and I found it easier to spot and stop them, and now they're largely leaving me in peace. They've not gone away for good, don't know if they ever will; I am aware of them still lurking just around the corner, but at least they're not in my face all the time. So yeah, I'd say they fade down, but whether they fade away, time will tell.
     
    Empty Red Cloud likes this.
  15. @FormerFapaholic the important thing to reboot successfully is to work on yourself, set goals so you don't see watching p as an option anymore

    You just see watching p as for what it really is, that damaged your life and made you waste time
     
  16. UKSD

    UKSD Fapstronaut

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    Fantasies are something I'm struggling with too. I'm on day 30 today and everyday for the past week they've been the forefront of my mind! I'm trying to block them and replace them with reading.
     
  17. Way_to_harmony

    Way_to_harmony Fapstronaut

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    I don't think that it is possible to fully block fantasies. Practice mindfulness, meditation and train yourself to not be reactive.
    I always have kind of an anchor so that when my mind goes astray and on autopilot i always have a fixed mantra or focus to return to.
    Just continue with what works for you and stay strong!
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2017
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  18. FormerFapaholic

    FormerFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    I’ve already set myself life goals in the interest of improving myself prior to the recovery. Such as a new job/career and getting fitter and healthier.

    These have been useful for keeping me busy, and not being fixated over x amount of days without PMO. Doing PMO has never been considered at all.
     

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