Fantasizing in a long distance relationship

tawwab1

Fapstronaut
I'm madly in love with my new lady. But she lives so far away. We have plans to move in together but it's gonna take some time.

Every time I'm lying in bed, my imagination launches into fantasies about her. I am careful not to touch myself, but it goes on for hours. I can't seem to think about anything but her, and I can't even sleep sometimes when I'm tired and know i need sleep.

I know eventually this compulsive craving behavior is going to make me relapse so what do I do? What tips/tricks do you have?
 
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I'm madly in love with my new lady. But she lives so far away. We have plans to move in together but it's gonna take some time.

Every time I'm lying in bed, my imagination launches into fantasies about her. I am careful not to touch myself, but it goes on for hours. I can't seem to think about anything but her, and I can't even sleep sometimes when I'm tired and know i need sleep.

I know eventually this compulsive craving behavior is going to make me relapse so what do I do? What tips/tricks do you have?

I'd say don't allow yourself to spend to much time fantasizing. I don't think it's something you can't do. But like you said it's not a good thing if it might cause relapses. I totally get how a new interesting relationship can be hard not to think about. Maybe rechannel those physical fantasies into thinking about the person in other ways.

I've done what your saying. And I think in my case it made me over eager for sex when we were together. It can become all you want which isn't good. Focus on the person you are interested in more. What they like, who there are, other reasons you enjoy their company.
 
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Maybe try reading in bed or crossword puzzles, etc. until you're falling asleep. That way your mind is occupied.

I've gotten way into chess.com I love it. The game is very mentally demanding and you can play speed chess that makes games go quick. A game or two if that really can get my head back to neutral.
 
I'm madly in love with my new lady. But she lives so far away. We have plans to move in together but it's gonna take some time.

Every time I'm lying in bed, my imagination launches into fantasies about her. I am careful not to touch myself, but it goes on for hours. I can't seem to think about anything but her, and I can't even sleep sometimes when I'm tired and know i need sleep.

I know eventually this compulsive craving behavior is going to make me relapse so what do I do? What tips/tricks do you have?
This is common in relationships esp. when you're really into the other person.

First, acknowledge the feeling, don't fight it.

Try breathing. Sounds Wii-woo, but breathing can change our mental processes. Mindful breathing, meditative, box breathing— find one that works.

Refocus that energy. Instead of fantasizing, write that shit down in a journal, a Google doc, whatever works. You don’t have to do anything with it but hey, your lady my like to read some of them. The idea is to process the thoughts so you can clear your mind and sleep.
 
I am going to launch a three pronged attack.

1. Refocus. I'm going to write my fantasies down so they will at least be materialized into something real, and I can let them go.
2. Meditate. I may not be able to meditate every day, but I'm going to find time to meditate for at least 25 minutes at a time.
3. Willpower. After doing the first two, resisting should be easier but I will need to muster a fair amount of willpower to complete the change.
 
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