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Fapping during sex count as relapse?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Tommy_0113, Jul 12, 2017.

  1. Tommy_0113

    Tommy_0113 Fapstronaut

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    When I have sex now, I need to touch myself lying next to the girl to stay hard before intercourse. I don't count this as relapsing...
    What do you guys think?
     
  2. I don't think it counts as a relapse if you incorporate it into your sexual encounters with another person. However, you run the risk of getting your body too accustomed to that and you may have trouble performing without touching yourself.
     
  3. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    What counts is what you define as your rules and goals. If this doesn't violate your rules then it doesn't count.

    For me I never want to M again. For me I need to not touch myself at all, at least for a very long time until I recondition my mind.
     
  4. Zapster21

    Zapster21 Fapstronaut

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    I believe it's ok! Don't worry :)
     
  5. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    I wasn't there, and certainly have not seen the video. Why are you asking me? Were you there? How did you feel about it? Did it help you enjoy PIV sex? Or, were you doing it as an escape from having to perform?
    It sounds like you did what you had to do to be the man you could be. Performance anxiety does not help. If you are are caring for her mood, you may not want to break the flow by telling her you need her to give you some manual stimulation. The best you could do is avoid disrupting the flow and catch up to where you need to be for the grand finale. It is good that you didn't need to resort to replaying porn in your head. Sometimes it feels a bit like standing around waiting for them to get all their make up on. We're ready to go, and now we need to wait for them to get ready. I've heard it compared to the tortoise and the hare; it is hard to work out the timing and finish the race together.
    Again, I wasn't there, but it sounds like you did well for her.
     
    Fersage likes this.
  6. Tommy_0113

    Tommy_0113 Fapstronaut

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    lol what?

    rest of your answer makes sense. thanks.
     
    Fersage and Sozboss92 like this.
  7. NF104534

    NF104534 Guest

    I wouldn't count it; however, why touch yourself when you could have her touch you? Unless she requested that you touch yourself, I would just let her do it.
     
  8. vultur71

    vultur71 Fapstronaut

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    When I was in therapy, my shrink told me that if you fap a lot, you may have a "fixation of method" (I dont know if this is the right translation to english). You mind and body became used to be excited just in that way, so you need to boost yourself to be able to penetrate. Once you are in, the rest is business as usual. Personally I wouldnt count it as a relapse, but I think you have to work on being sensitive again (there is a number of pleasuring techniques available). I´m still working on that so I cant talk about how fast we can rewire our sensitivity, but I am convinced that is the right path to follow. Good luck!!
     
  9. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    I was trying to say that you were there, you know what happened, you know what you did, and you know what you were feeling and thinking about. Why are you asking other guys who know none of that. We are in no position to judge. I have no evidence on which to base a verdict. Thank you for not posting pictures or video evidence!
    Hopefully you both will progress in your abilities to arouse and please each other. It is a slow but gratifying process.
     

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