FCKKKK I Relapsed again!!!

"I just can't stop watching P when Im tired and anxious"

Those who say they can and those who say they can't are both usually right.

 

You may not be ready to stop.

I had many times I could quit for various amounts of time. Each occasion I would discover one more technique or plan that DID NOT WORK. So it isn't that my "falls" were useless. They were actually useful in the sense that I was getting rid of plans/ideas that were ineffective. It was like studying myself failing and seeing that I absolutely had to try action I had never employed before. The other hiccup was I had never experienced a surrender that I didn't intercept with some type of chemical relief. A surrender FEELS like a melt down. It feels like "OMG, my life is shit" realization and I see the truth of what my actions has created. Now the problem with a surrender is WE HATE FEELING LIKE SHIT so eventually we employ a temporary solution (PMO) to intercept the surrender. Make sense? So on my last reset (06/10/14) I finally got it- I CAN'T KEEP MEDICATING MY SURRENDERS - I have to become a big boy and start employing real life GROWTH measures ( school, achieving goals, do stuff you always feared to do, push yourself into discomfort so that you can study what needs to be worked on INSIDE of you).

PMO is medication we used to CHECK OUT of what is going on with our INSIDES. PMO treated our "inside funk". If we get rid of PMO, we have to find something else to help us grow so that we become ok with ourselves at the level of NOT needing PMO to self medicate. NOT USING porn is a great beginning, but that in itself will not change who we are.

-M

 

If you are climbing a flight of stairs, and you slip and fall down a couple, you didn't fall all the way down the flight of stairs. Just get back up, and keep on climbing!

 

I am no Expert but You have to look at other things in your life that you fight and continue that fight. I believe we are created to fight. No matter how much money or fame you have in your Life nobody is excluded from fighting!

 

What worked for me was accepting that i know longer wanted that as part of my life anymore, i still see triggers everyday but it doesn't bother me, you have to accept that at no point can you ever watch P again and it becomes so much easier.

This is hard but its so much harder if you dont believe in yourself, ignoring all the little tactics people have come up with all you have to do is decide if this is the person you want to be anymore or not. For me coming home and fapping and having no real interest in girls was shit and i simply refuse to be that guy anymore, anyone can make this choice and you will get so much confidence and pride from preserving through the temptations.

Good luck mate you can do it