Fear of False Rape Accusations - your opinions?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by ProtagonistOfMyLife, Feb 6, 2019.

Are you, in general worrying about false rape accusations?

  1. Yes

    13 vote(s)
    46.4%
  2. No

    15 vote(s)
    53.6%
  1. ProtagonistOfMyLife

    ProtagonistOfMyLife Fapstronaut

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    Do you guys, in general, have a fear of false rape accusations?

    I would say that I have a certain inherent distrust because a woman could singlehandedly destroy a man's live if she just felt like it.

    Now, I do not mean trivialize real rapes or say that a lot of rape victims lie and that's also not what this discussion is about.

    What led me to make this thread is something that happened about 4 months ago.
    I was hooking up with a girl and went home with her. We both drunk a bit but both in normal levels, just tipsy so to say. No slurring or walking strangely.
    Well at her's it turned out she didn't want to have sex but rather wanted me to labour for her and actively put my hand with her hand on parts of her. You know the rest.
    About 20 minutes later it became too stupid for me and I pretended to have fallen asleep. She would put my hands on her body even minutes after I pretended to have fallen asleep . Some time after pretending she got out of the bed and went to the desk in the room we were in. I had put my key-ring directly on my purse and I was very startled when I heard my key-ring making the sound of moving - just key rustling. I look up from bed and saw her directly standing at the spot of the desk I placed my keys and purse on. She was just standing there, I didn't exactly see in the dark what she did with her hands.
    Well, of course I was startled. I got up and asked her what she did. She said nothing and simply took a sleeping blanket and went to sleep in another room. I can only imagine, it's out of guilt of being caught in action?
    Well, of course I was really distraught but tried to take it like a man. I got out from the bed and got dressed. Afterward I went into the room she was in and told her I can't really sleep so I will just head home and wanted to give her a kiss on the forehead, however she moved her mouth in and kissed me on the mouth.
    Well, I am 90% she tried to take money out of my purse. I had spent quite a bit for the taxi and what my friends and me drunk, so I don't remember how much excactly was still left, but when I left there was no money in it all. But still I was only 90% sure, so I didn't want to cause a drama or put her on the spot, 20$ or 30$ don't mean that much to me.
    Well, so I went home and the same day (I went home at ~5am and slept till about 12am) she wrote me on facebook and asked me if I came home good. I said yes and that it was nice meeting her. I didn't pursue a conversation cause I was pretty sure she stole from me.
    4 days later she wrote me again, saying that her room mate kicked her out for some stupid reason and the way she wrote seemed to imply the subtle question if she could sleep over at mine. She didn't ask directly but of course I didn't invite her because I was worrying she could take mine or my room mates stuff or money.

    Well whole thing 4 months forward the day before yesterday I saw a facebook post of her's claiming she had been raped 5 times on different occaisions by different people in the last 2-3 years.
    Now, I am not denying that there are guys who rape women or that it happens multiple times to the same person.
    But let's be honest. 5 times on different occaisons in at max 3 years. How high are the odds? I'd bet very low. Someone do the math maybe.
    After meeting her, a friend of her's also told my she had been to a mental healthy faculty once.

    And of course, this got me scared. What if she claimed situations as rape that hadn't been rape at all? What if she just wanted to get revenge on people for stupid reasons and hurt pride? What if she just decides she had been "too drunk to consent" eventhough she wasn't. What if she just decides in a few years that I had been rape?

    I of course didn't write her and didn't ask her about that stuff because I didn't want to be insensitive or hurt her feelings.
    I am lucky that I still have the facebook chat, but this whole thing still leaves me deeply unsettled.
    It just shows me that anyone, no matter who they are could have bad luck and that if you don't have enough power, prestige and money you are totally helpless and can not do anything at all if you don't have hard evidence supporting your case.
    And even if you do not get convicted your social life, reputation and status will be completely killed and you may probably also loose your career.

    How do you guys feel about this? Any good advice or prevention strategies?

    And that's why in this certain area, I certainly am on guard and distrust ONS or stranger-women. With all that #metoo going on, I don't really think it's safe to have stranger-sex anymore.
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2019
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  2. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut

    I'm gonna have to say no because I don't usually come across situations that would lead a girl to accuse me of rape. When i was younger that may have been a possibility, however now that i'm older and don't fool around with random girls i don't really have that issue.
     
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  3. It could certainly be possible for a few people. I wouldn't bed a woman unless I already knew her and we were both sober — slightly tipsy is too much! I say this with the benefit of hindsight.
     
  4. ProtagonistOfMyLife

    ProtagonistOfMyLife Fapstronaut

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    Well young people tend to drink when they go out.
     
  5. MLMVSS

    MLMVSS Fapstronaut

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    I don’t fear it; fear only introduces negative energy into your life. Of course, don’t put yourself in stupid situations either. I use common sense, not fear.
     
  6. There aren't any women on the planet that would go to bed with me, so that's not an issue. What I worry about is being falsely accused of sexual harassment at work. I was at first trying to meet women at work in my new location. I just wanted to be friendly and I enjoy chatting with women. But now I've been avoiding them at work after one of them got offended at me for reasons I'm still clueless about.

    I have a great job with great pay. I don't want to be fired for just being friendly. I think many women these days are overly sensitive and looking for opportunities to be offended and get someone fired.

    I've seen a false accusation happen once already to someone else. Well I guess I should say we all suspect it was false.

    The guy had been working at the location long before I got on the scene. Several years after I started at this location there was a woman that hired on that most people hated, especially the women. She was a trouble maker. She was always making sexual jokes, offensive jokes, and belittling people. But if you did the same with her, she'd get very upset. She accused the guy I mentioned of sexual harassment. This guy had never done anything like that while I was there and women there that knew him for even longer said they'd never seen him do anything or heard him say anything that would have been construed as sexual harassment. He was a good hard worker and although not liked by all, he was respected.

    Management believed her and not him. He was let go.

    So I've been more careful than ever after my weird incident with a woman at my work location. I didn't do anything that I thought was harassment. But apparently in her eyes I did something wrong. I think now a good policy for work is if you don't have to deal with the opposite sex, then don't. If you do have to, keep it to a minimum. I know many PC people will disagree with that but I think it's better to be safe than sorry. I'm about ten years from retirement. I don't want to start over again someplace else because of a false allegation.
     
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  7. Dont have sex with people you dont love and trust, and you probably wont have anything to worry about.
     
  8. I saw this story on a youtube comment:
    If somebody was actually raped they would go directly to the cops, not wait four months then post about in on facebook.

    You are right to now distrust having sex with strangers, so it's good you learnt something.


    I am not particularly worried about false allegations against me, but something could happen in the future once I am in a company. Despite me being very polite and socially reserved, stories about the metoo movement make it seem like it could happen to any man.
     
  9. I'm not worried but this whole #metoo/ rape culture climate is something that I feel every man should be mindful of. I'm single and my plan is to be obedient to God going forward so in addition to letting go of PMO, I've decided not to have sex anymore until I am in a real committed relationship. For a while I though I would die or have a nervous breakdown if I wasn't have sex or at least PMOing once in a while but my longest streak taught me that it is totally possible for me to control my sexual urges and doing so makes me much stronger. I abstained from PMO and weed for a month and I felt more free than I've ever felt since I got wrapped up in all this stuff to begin with.

    I somewhat agree with what @Castielle said just because a false rape accusation is only one of the many reasons people shouldn't be running around having casual sex with everybody they can. I do have issues with the Kangaroo rape courts that have been installed on college campuses and the hysteria in the corporate world.

    1) You don't actually have to have had sex or any intimate contact with a woman to be accused of rape. There are many cases where women claimed rape with no proof and the men they accused were tossed in jail with no evidence. There are some really crazy ones where the guy accussed wasn't even in the state at the time of the alleged assault. Some of the guys actually served prison time and were released years later after their lives and careers were ruined or possibly been sexually assaulted themselves.

    2)I don't like the way the schools, employers and the courts tend to let the false accusers slide. I hear of tons of cases where the female accuser's story folds while under investigation and she admits to making up the story but she suffers no consequences after the fact. This allows and encourage dishonest women to use rape as a weapon because she can use the accusation for revenge, personal or political gain and suffer no consequences.

    I don't believe in paranoia but this day and age guys need to be careful. I havent been very sexually active this year but I went on 2 cruises this year and I met alot of women and I ended up spending time with a couple of them. I didn't go as far as having sex because I don't do one night stands or sex with strangers but we went to clubs and events, we spent time alone away from our respective groups, made out and had mini dates on the ship in addition to spending time with a girl in her room.

    I'm not worried about anything but given the current climate, it's totally possible that one of them can say something innapropriate occured 5 years down the line and I could end up in the same position as many of these other guys you see on TV and it's a little concerning.
     
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  10. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    I hear you bro. The same here man. :oops: In any case, I am not the sort of person that worries about "what ifs". I have far too much anxiety to manage in real life as it is, without conjuring up possibilities of things that would never happen to me.
     
  11. False accusers should get the same prison time as the accused would if convicted of the alleged accusations. Juveniles should be punished as well
     
  12. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    Yes, good call!
     
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  13. I agree. TBH, I have seen a couple of cases where women have been sentenced to jail time after falsely accusing guys of rape in criminal cases but these are far and few between. They didn't get much time and will probably only serve a small fraction of it but paying for lawyers, going to jail and losing their livelyhood sends a good message. As you said, this needs to be taken much more seriously.

    I dont even recommend watching this cause it's horrible but anyone who sends another human to a place like this should be dealt with. If you do watch it, it will probably keep you on the straight and narrow for life, lol!
     
  14. It really do be like that sometimes. Watch your back jack
     
  15. Gotham Outlaw

    Gotham Outlaw Fapstronaut

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    This is a good rule to live by.

    IMO false accusers should be given the death penalty.
     
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  16. Pretty harsh
     
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  17. WalkingForward

    WalkingForward Fapstronaut

    This.

    Drunken hookups is asking for trouble. If you play with fire, you might get burned.
     
  18. ProtagonistOfMyLife

    ProtagonistOfMyLife Fapstronaut

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    Well, little update. Yesterday evening, I wrote her and asked her, in the most sensible way possible, if her experiences are, in any way related to me.
    Before asking the question I was DMing with normally but once I asked the question, she stopped replying.
    So I think, I am justified in concluding that she is just a troll and wants sympathy and attention from other people.
    What @Reuby wrote really opened my eyes. What normal person would be fine with openly saying they have been raped on social media but isn't capable of involving police.
    I often hear people say that they are too traumatized and have a fear of making it public. Yeah? So you have a fear of telling it the police but are totally fine with trumpeting it out on social media? And then you expect people to believe you without any questions asked. Like wtf.
    Again, I am not saying that we should assume people lie by default, however false-rape-trolls are out there and you'd best be on your guard.
    I have blocked the girl since on social media, I don't want to aggravate a mentally ill person any further. Quite honestly, for me, making lies about being rape, no matter the reason, is as bad as rape itself. It destroys and traumatizes people in the same way rape does.
     
  19. I cant speak to their specific situation, but this is not completely unheard of. Trials can be really hard, sometimes even harder than being open with friends and family and other people who are supportive in your life. There are definitely reasons why people could feel comfortable with one and not the other, so that doesnt automatically mean they're lying.
     
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  20. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    Since I believe I made some poor decisions I fear it more than I otherwise would.
     
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