Fear of Girls

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ///Matthew W-Spec, Sep 25, 2017.

  1. I Am that I Am

    I Am that I Am Fapstronaut

    Um why do you feel desperation? Often times being desperate is confused for fear.

    I mean if you didn't want to be with one of them why be afraid? Your desire makes you feel inadequate. The only solution in this case is to literally start being adequate in your own eyes.
  2. Years ago I challenged myself to talk to at least one woman on every night out. It didn't matter what happened after that, just as long as I had made an effort to talk it was considered a success.

    I think we freeze when we put pressure on ourselves to "get somewhere" with a girl. When the goal is simply to say a few words to someone, we can be ourselves more.
    FormerFapaholic and Hitto like this.
  3. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

    Are you afraid of getting cooties or what?
  4. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

    You gotta be like Chad and just go for it. Chad doesn't worry about rejection and these lasses sense his courage and strength and literally melt.
  5. You're not afraid of girls, you're afraid of rejection. Overcome that fear by viewing rejection as something positive instead of negative. Rejection is one of the greatest gifts you can get because it lets you know when to stop wasting your time on someone. Time is precious. Life is short.

    Also if you want to remove the anxiety of talking to girls then you need to approach them without an agenda. You fuck yourself when you have an agenda since you're overthinking every move in order to accomplish some stupid mission.

    Lastly just remember they're more afraid of you than you are of them.

    Just kidding with that last remark. I couldn't help myself.
    vibemaker, K423, El fapio and 4 others like this.
  6. TotalLifeChange

    TotalLifeChange Fapstronaut

    Dude, there's nothing wrong with you.
    You just haven't developed skill in that area.
    Make the firm intention to learn how to get girls and you'll gain that skill step-by-step.
    It'll take time but it's doable. I have done it and many guys I personally know.
    Rameez likes this.
  7. Rameez

    Rameez Fapstronaut

    Haha, i felt the same way not even with girls but in crowd also but i'm ok now. inner peace is the solution of everything to me. i prefer to be calm and positive in any situation and it works. i'm not too good at this but i can feel the better i'm being.
    Nomar, Hitto and TotalLifeChange like this.
  8. It's no mystery man. You're like the first pick around guys because you're not trying to fuck them. Seriously, remove the agenda to fuck women and you won't care or over think shit, which will allow you to be yourself while being confident.
    Hitto and Rameez like this.
  9. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

    The truth NoFap has allowed me to control my desires and use that energy to get different hobbies and self improvement in general I'm know slowing but surely getting confidence looking women in the eyes smiling unconscious now she I see them looking also recently I went on my first date ever and kissed her at the end of it but it's probably not going anywhere but I'm learning the inner journey is much more important which entails you to take action and the outer journey is results but if you are obsessed with the outer journey you don't get that inner peace of just enjoying the present moment and being grateful I'm just trying to work on being more comfortable talking to women in general but I'm not gonna let it be my source of happiness that all comes within
    Rameez and Deleted Account like this.
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    Runtilmylegsdropoff, Rameez and Hitto like this.
  11. ///Matthew W-Spec

    ///Matthew W-Spec Fapstronaut

    [​IMG]*Pic Related
    Ok, I am just going to say something, last week some other Caucasian qt just held my hands at class and asked me," Can we date?". At the moment, I was literally speechless and calmly told her that I wasn't worthy enough yet. After the day I told my parents about it and kept it a secret. What advice about this case?
    Nomar likes this.
  12. Nomar

    Nomar Fapstronaut

    I wish a Caucasian qt would grab my hand and ask me that
  13. Steve Sancteria

    Steve Sancteria Fapstronaut

    affirmations did actually fix that problem for me.
    When I met any girl or actually any other person, I know I am on the same level.
    Once I've learned to feel incredible and secure being alone, I've stoped to give a damn about what I say.
    Hitto likes this.
  14. David stone

    David stone Fapstronaut

    Go and talk to her and tell her ur brain was dead amd now u would like to date her and invite her anywhere
    Nomar likes this.
  15. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

    Here is some advice especially coming from a "black" male don't get caught up in identifying yourself and others oh that's a white girl I'm a black male oh he is a conservative she is liberal all this identification is your mind trying to survive by holding on to thoughts are referred to your ego and it will give you a false sense of who your to the world and others around you it is your external shell or layer but your true self is free of mind and thought or time it's your higher consciousness and true self it can only be achieved through the present moment remember to watch your thoughts and don't judge them but always realize you are more than what you think you are and do not leave through labels and identification we are all human beings race and skin color is a frivolous and trivial thing to exhaust your energy over it's hard but awareness is half the battle
    Reborn16, Nomar and David stone like this.
  16. What does it mean to be worthy? Aren't you doing NoFap because you believe you're worthy of a better life? and if you're worthy right now to have a better life then why wouldn't you be worthy enough to have a real relationship?

    I would ask you to consider switching the word worthy with the word perfect in order to see the problem with your answer to her question. Perfectionism is one of the biggest mind fucks/waste of time we encounter on this road of self-improvment.
    Reborn16 likes this.
  17. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    @MAGA exactly man, being the person you want to be is a journey not a destination.

    Dating this girl would align with your values would it not? Go back and ask her out in your usual chilled manner (she obviously digs you)

    If she changed her mind or something you literally lost nothing, if she's still keen win win dude.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  18. Physicist

    Physicist Fapstronaut

    Women are human beings like us. With their own fears and insecurities. Why fear them?

    The bigger of a bitch she is on the outside, the more issues she has inside, trust me. That hot beautiful girl probably spends 2 hours a day thinking of the perfect instagram photo and caption.

    Thats her addiction.
    Hitto, Evig Faith and Reborn16 like this.
  19. Evig Faith

    Evig Faith Fapstronaut

    Well, first off, let me say: I'm a woman, not Godzilla. :)

    I'll admit that each woman is different. Even I can't understand some women and their choices. However, most of us like someone who is confident. Someone we can lean on when we ourselves are down. Someone who knows the sweet balance between gentleness and power. Someone who we feel is susceptible to changing for the better (we do like to mould our men into what we consider "perfect" for us, the guy and the relationship, although this is a lifelong process).

    Someone who admits they aren't "worthy" of a girl isn't gonna cut it. We realise you're not perfect; most of us truly do. But if you make a statement indicating (whether directly or indirectly) that you're not gonna try to improve yourself, then honestly it's a turn off (at least for me).

    Do me a favour and love yourself. Build up your confidence. List things about yourself that you're proud of. You WILL change for the better in a healthy, loving relationship; you do not need to be perfect.
  20. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

    Well thanks for this advice because it seems very genuine and absolutely the truth we are worthy of self love and in order to cultivate that worthiness you accept yourself and change yourself for the better but at the same time remaining humble and grateful you are not using pmo
    vibemaker and FormerFapaholic like this.

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