Fear of Girls

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ///Matthew W-Spec, Sep 25, 2017.

  1. FeelingFine

    FeelingFine Fapstronaut

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    Flip it around it your mind and it will flip in theirs. When you speak to them as if you're interested but unsure if they are worthy), they start chasing you for conversation. Once the conversation opens up, you'll both be on the same wavelength and you'll forget what you were feeling before (so will she, because she feels and picks up emotions better than you - a woman's gift, we can't change that). Be confident and righteous (not arrogant and self agrandizing) and imply in your behaviour and confidence that you are the prize. This is the key to sales and persuasion in general. No different than with the fairer species.
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2017
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  2. FeelingFine

    FeelingFine Fapstronaut

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    If you believe that, you're right. Everyone has value. Just be confident in yours
     
  3. David stone

    David stone Fapstronaut

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    I dont like you
     
  4. C B

    C B Fapstronaut

    In my experience, there are two sides to this:

    #1. Keep it real: Don't fantasize about marrying every single pretty girl you meet. Just get to know them like you do your guy friends. If a girl thinks it's creepy that you are talking to her normally, she is immature and not worth your time. Be yourself, because you can't hide under a mask forever. If you get good vibes and you feel you're ready, ask them out. The rest is really up to you, and seeing if it's a good match.

    #2. Keep it real (in a different way): Realize that you are naturally less comfortable around pretty girls than other guys, and that you will have to work a little harder on building confidence. Yes, you might have to memorize a few pickup lines. But after asking the first girl it gets MUCH easier, so keep it up. You have nothing to lose! Even if she says no, the awkwardness WILL go away, trust me.

    Good luck!!!
     
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  5. FormerFapaholic

    FormerFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    Another thing when it comes to women. DON'T act on impulse either.
     
  6. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Just keep talking to them until you get used to it.
     
  7. messanger

    messanger Fapstronaut

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    What was your past experience with the female gender like?
     
  8. ///Matthew W-Spec

    ///Matthew W-Spec Fapstronaut

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    [​IMG]
    *Pic Related
    Hmmm.. I kind of forget about some parts of it but some parts of the contact was basically me doodling about a diagram of engine-transmission layout and showed her about it while in math class. Most of the people didn't know the diagram's about until I explained to them but still they didn't really know how it was about. Some girls were actually quite astonished of the drawing itself.
     
  9. Tron22

    Tron22 Fapstronaut

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    I have similar issue. It is slowly getting better but it is really slow process.
    Anyway PMO might not be the main cause. It can be but if you had same fear before you started watching porn then it might not have anything to do with porn.
    The thing about fear is that at certain point you cant fight it with your head. You cant think your way out of fear you will probably just make it worse.
    The gradual exposure to the thing that you are afraid of is the best possible solution. Your unconscious has some particular image of girls that is not positive and it needs to be rewritten. And only way to rewrite it is to prove the unconscious wrong by showing it that potential danger is not there or is not as dangerous.
    So the solution? Interact with them. If the pretty girls are to big of a fear start with less attractive one and gradually work your way up. Start with the thing that is challenging but not impossible for you to do.
    With that being said here is little rationale that I think wont hurt :D
    If you are made uncomfortable just by pretty girl being around then you are afraid of her judgment (thats why you watch every move you make). Yes everyone judges you to some degree but your idea of their judgment is 90% of the time wrong. Then there are psychopaths and narcissists but you cant really do anything about them they hate everyone.
     
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  10. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Your comment sums it up very well!

    Trying a very small thing like making conversation with girls working at a store is helping me..

    I have started conversation with random girls too but not flirted. Taking it slow is not bad at all, especially if jumping from 0-100 and asking out a random girl is daunting (as it is for me).
     
  11. ///Matthew W-Spec

    ///Matthew W-Spec Fapstronaut

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    I finally found out why I think that I have zero chances to get a girlfriend, I will tell you guys or girls later but first, answer the question below:
    QUESTION:

    You are invited to a reality show and win the prize, the MC told you can win a car for free, he or she gave you two options, one is a Nissan 370Z NISMO ( 350 hp , 48000 CAD )[​IMG]
    Another one is a Lamborghini Aventador LP-750SV,
    [​IMG]
    WHICH ONE YOU CHOOSE?









    WHEN YOU HAD YOUR ANSWER, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO KNOW WHY I CAN HAVE NO CHANCE FOR HAVING A GIRLFRIEND.
     
  12. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I'd take the lambo, only because I could sell it for a lot of cash.

    I wouldn't want a car like that for too long, even if it was free. Costs of keeping it on the road are huge, and drive it once a year? doesn't work out as apparently they break down when they sit for months...

    What's your reason for this idea about not getting a gf man?
     
  13. ///Matthew W-Spec

    ///Matthew W-Spec Fapstronaut

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    Simple, who needs a Nissan 370Z when they had a Lambo?
     
  14. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Don't stress it man, there's plenty of reasons a 370z is better.

    Continuing this analogy, the best car I ever owned was a manual coupe that was almost 30 years old, had holes of rust, and only cost me 2k. It had character!
     
  15. Based on your previous posts I'm assuming you are qualifying yourself as a "Nissan". If not, you're confusing the heck out of me. That fact that someone approached you proves that other people don't see you the same way you see yourself. That girl wasn't wasting her time with someone she thought was only a "Nissan". But based on your response "I'm unworthy" I'd say you aren't ready to be getting a GF or into a serious relationship anytime soon. There will always be a chance of rejection and others thinking you aren't worthy but if it's you that's thinking that YOU are unworthy when a girl is asking YOU out then I'd say you are - at least in your current state. You don't need girls to like you more, you need you to like you more. Whatever is making you insecure, your PMO, something else, or a combination, I'd recommend taking care of that first. Because getting a GF isn't going to cure that and your problems will only end up hurting your relationship. In the meantime, like others have said, try to interact with girls without the intention of getting into their pants or becoming their BF. If you can't successfully do that, just one more reason you aren't ready to get a GF. It will take practice and it will be awkward but it will get better bit by bit and overtime. Once you start making friends that are girls, you start viewing yourself differently, and you start viewing girls differently (and you'll know when this happens) then you will be ready. You won't be seeking a relationship because you are insecure that all your friends have GF's and you can't talk to girls. You will be seeking a relationship because you are interested in girls and you'll find a girl you are interested in taking care of and journeying alongside. Hopefully you'll make it about her and not just about you.
     
  16. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    Dude, quit disqualifying yourself and leave that up to the girl.
     
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  17. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    I see some pretty dweebish guys with gals and I wonder how it happens but it does. It helps if you don't do self-rejection.
     
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  18. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    Okay, my realdealholyfield answer:

    Build up your life to such a high quality that you'd be completely fine without a special woman in your life. She should be a welcome addition to your life and not the center of your life. If you make her the center, you likely have some serious self esteem issues and don't deserve a special woman.

    Don't put women on a pedestal; as they are fallen sinners just like men. Don't confuse her physical beauty to have anything to do with her character or personality as a person. If you see a beautiful woman, just recognize that she's very pleasant to look at and leave it at that, until you get to know who she is personally. The Bible says "do not awaken love til its the right time".

    Have your own hobbies, interests, passions, and most of all you have to love yourself. Erich Fromme said if you can love only others and not yourself then you can't love at all because you can only give what you have yourself.
     
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  19. ///Matthew W-Spec

    ///Matthew W-Spec Fapstronaut

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    Well try to think you are having a old sports car trying to beat the latest hypercar on a track? You would feel the same way.
     
  20. Mat Davis

    Mat Davis New Fapstronaut

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    This mixture will help, add some balls + confidence
     

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