Fear of girls

Humor, making something happen, going after what you want, talking, expressing yourself, relationships... all these things require risk.

Overthinking is basically being overly concerned with the possibility of failure. Being excessively careful not to get rejected. Being overly cautious not to make mistakes. Whenever an opportunity comes up, you hesitate because you don't want to take action unless there's a guarantee of success. You freeze because you think that's more comfortable and safe than doing something that's uncertain and risky.

You can't get good at something without first allowing yourself to be bad at it. Repeated courage (to go after what you want / try new things / practice certain aspects / take risks / do something that might not work) eventually leads to competence. Repeated competence eventually leads to confidence. What you want is to skip that process and become magically competent and confident. So you don't try and you don't take risks because there's no guarantees. You don't want to fail. You don't want to look bad. You can't handle the possibility of pain, problems, and negative experiences. That's why you haven't acquired the skills that you want to become competent at.

You believe that if you overthink enough, you'll be able to avoid the possibility of things not going your way.... and you're right.... because you don't take a risk and nothing happens. You play not to lose. You don't lose anything, but you also don't win anything. You stay comfortable and safe.

If you want to improve your humor, you have to risk saying things that aren't funny to others. If you want to get better at conversations, you have to risk running out of things to say or saying the wrong things. If you want to create relationships, you have to risk things falling apart. If you want to go after what you want, you have to risk not getting what you want.

The more risks you take, the more you'll fail, but also the more you'll succeed. The less risks you take, the less you'll fail, but also the less you'll succeed.

So your problem isn't that you're awkward (everyone starts out awkward / incompetent / insecure at something outside their comfort zone and experience). Your problem is that you don't allow yourself to learn and gain the necessary experience because you value short term emotions (avoiding anything that could cause you pain / problems / negative experiences) over long term outcomes. You value comfort now (avoiding these risks) and allowing things to be uncomfortable later on (where you are now) over being uncomfortable now (taking risks / trying new things / gaining experience) and being comfortable later on (being competent and confident at something you've been trying to develop).