Fear of Missing out, how to use it to improve?

flowstacks · Dec 25, 2022

First of all I wish everyone reading this a very Merry Christmas.
I wanted to talk about the fear of missing out, as I’m sure a lot of other people in my position get it during the more social times of the year such as Christmas.
Yesterday I went to midnight mass with my dad - it’s essentially a chance to belt out a few christmas carols in good spirits. I wasn’t expecting to see many people my age (20), but to my surprise there was a huge group of people that seemed to all be together and they gathered together afterwards and looked to be having a good laugh.
I felt a bit sad afterwards because I was not having as much fun as them and I did not have the courage to ask them what they were doing or what they were there for, but I probably should have because it would have been great to meet them. Perhaps they were going to a party and may not have been too friendly I tell myself, but I know that all I had to do was talk to one of them.
What are some key takeaways from this that I can use to make sure I do better in a future situation like this?

Joseph Campbell · Dec 28, 2022

You reminded me of someone I look up to in my life, one of the most social people I've ever known of, with regards to social interaction he said something to the effect of "50% of the time I strike out"...

So if the most suave cats out there are only connecting half the time, where should us normal peoples expectations be?! I think that's a great foundational understanding to getting oneself off the sidelines and on the damn dance floor, just realize first and foremost the chances aren't in your favor and this attempt at making new friends or whatever will prob land flat. Now the moment of truth... To continue onward regardless! That's the real threshold for entry into a real life.

At the end of the day, I'd rather have made genuine connections in my life at the cost of some occasional awkward embarrassment then to have always wondered "what if"... Those two words, that disturbing phrase, the real tragedy of life is the slow calcification of the soul harkened forth from a foggy habit of saying "nah, not today" to your yearning "what if's".

Getem next time meng! Good luck, and Happy New Year to ya

sohardrn · Dec 28, 2022

@Joseph Campbell I like this. I’ve been studying martial arts for a short while, and one thing I’ve learned is about having courage like a lion.

The way a lion has courage against a pack of hyenas is not because it knows for a fact it’ll win. To be true, one tired lion against a handful of hyenas could be a pretty rough fight. The reason the lion wins is because he accepts that yes there are many hyenas and they are all skilled scavengers who can coordinate well in a team. He is not guaranteed a win. Yet he roars and claws onward regardless, accepting his fear but not allowing it to control him.

This audacity to fight even after accepting your worst fears, that is courage.

WinningSystem · Dec 29, 2022

Merry Christmas!

I have a similar issue with social restraint. Not much I can do about it besides just try to not care, realize the risk isn't significant and care to take the risk. I've found the best community with my fellow Christians though. Them and my family and friends are my foundation.

flowstacks · Dec 29, 2022

Guys, thanks so much for the thoughts and advice. I completely agree with the fact that the odds will not always fall in your favour, sometimes it's easy to think that things can go so well in your head but this is not always the case in practice. I will try to promise myself to always give things a shot regardless of chance so that I will stop living my life in the past so much and start engaging with the present, else I fear that I will spend many years looking behind me at the missed chances instead of my current ones.

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Fear of Missing out, how to use it to improve?

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