Fed up with this destroying my life and soul..

I just wanna be that innocent person that people around me think I am.. Want to become that person who did a lot of reading, studying.. Can't bear to be like this any more, withdrawing myself from the world around me, perverting my thoughts, and immersing in the feeling of hypocrisy..I want to build myself into a better person and delete everything that harmed my brain for the last couple of years..

 

Thanks... I'm trying to engage in activities that would keep me busy and exhausted. Free time is the problem, I guess. I have seen abstinence in the past which lasted for a week or two when I had things to do for my academics leaving me no time to even think about PMO. I think that would be productive as well for my life and career. .. But I don't know how long it will go. I'm from a strong religious background. So engaging more in doing remembrance of God and prayer has helped me a lot in the past where I could go even for a 4 month abstinence from P. I hope I can combine the both and daily motivations from here to be a free bird gradually..God Willing..

 

Thanks a lot.... That was really really helpful.. I will come back to it once in a while