Feeing so alone...

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Everythingformydaughters1984, May 22, 2018.

  1. Hello all,

    I’ve been addicted to porn since I was approximately 12 years old, I’m now 34, and have never really given it a effort to be better about it. Until recently, I guess it just wasn’t important or something I realized was effecting me and my life.

    I’ve been married to my best friend for almost 11 years and we have two little girls that are amazing. About 6 years ago I ended up kissing another girl and was basically in a very bad place in my life. My wife stuck it out and we moved home and started a new life and ended up having our two daughters. About year and half ago I started spending money watching porn online and my wife ended up figuring out after i spend about 2k dollars on it. She was heartbroken, but forgave me and I went to counseling, but didn’t really fix the problem.

    The beginning of this year my wife started to work out and get super healthy and I have encouraged her and supported her and she is doing a great job at it. She ended up hanging out with a friend from work who just recently got a divorce and is currently having an affair. About s month ago, my wife came to me and said she wants a divorce and is tired of me and doesn’t want to deal with me after all the hurt I have caused her. Everything she said was very reasonable and I deserve it, but it was the most crushing thing in the world. We have been battling the last 3-4 weeks and it’s been so hard to be here and to deal with it but I have to be strong for my two daughters.

    My wife and I both grew up Christians and I have very much in the past month tried to get my life back on track, we have been going to church, i joined a SA group, I’m meeting with a friend from church to deal with my issues, because I know if nothing else I have to try and get my life together so I can be the dad to my girls that I need to be.

    About a week and half ago my wife stopped wearing her wedding ring, and two nights ago stopped sleeping in the bed with me. She now sleeps downstairs on the sofa. I just feel so lonely and afraid of what is going to happen. I love her, my kids, and our life, but I need to get things back in line if I’m going to have any chance at being the type of dad to my daughters.

    I just am having a very down day, and needed to vent about how much this addiction has killed me and my family. I’m hoping and praying that she finds someway to forgive me and work on things for our family.
     
    Vansire, Bijuu107 and Icandoit01 like this.
  2. theFounder

    theFounder Fapstronaut

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    sorry to read your story. i wish i could help
     
    Icandoit01 likes this.
  3. Icandoit01

    Icandoit01 Fapstronaut

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    I wish u the best. And hope things work out the way u want and save the marriage.
     
  4. astronautfrompompei

    astronautfrompompei Fapstronaut

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    Man.

    I'll tell you the hard truth. If you want to get her back, go to redpill on Reddit. You need to sort yourself out, and re-establish an healthy relationship with your wife, where she respects you (and you are deserving that respect, both in reality and in perception) and some healthy boundaries are put back in place.

    If only a month after she mentioned that she wants to divorce (MIND: she didn't discuss this with you, she merely let her know about her final decision) she has already stopped wearing her wedding ring and sleeping in the same bed with you... After 11 Years! That's very disrespectful and not okay, and you need to sort yourself out and to request the respect and the dignity you deserve as a human being...

    Hope this helps.
     
  5. flytrain

    flytrain Fapstronaut

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    Omg I don't know what to say, but that I'm infinity sorry this is happening to you. And I thought I was having a bad day...
     
  6. TheTruthIsHidden

    TheTruthIsHidden Fapstronaut

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    Red pill is some fucked up shit to read to me but it is so true.
     
  7. Air0

    Air0 Fapstronaut

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    I hope things are going well for you! Stay strong you can do it
     
  8. Burak1999

    Burak1999 Fapstronaut

    Your story brought me in tears brother, I wish that I could do something about it, this particularly shows how damaging this addiction really is, I mean I wished that this never existed!
     
  9. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    My wife of 13 years left me 2.5 months ago. 1 month into leaving me she started dating her coworker and sleeping with him.

    So I feel your pain. I got no solution for you because every day I either wake up hating myself for causing this, hating her for sleeping with her coworker, or both... today is both again.

    I’m lonely, abandoned, and feel like there’s no hope.

    If you needed to vent more and discuss anything pm me.
     
  10. Air0

    Air0 Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry dude. You have definitely being strong with the 77 day streak! You should be proud of that and keep up the no pmo streak. I hope things get better.
     
    MasterRoshi likes this.
  11. MAX EFFORT

    MAX EFFORT Fapstronaut

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    Stay Strong and hold your head up high. Be the kind of man that you would want your daughters to meet and marry. Act as a strong independent Alpha male. Generally, in these periods of heartache, we (men) begin to become clingy and needy; refuse those urges and act like a person that demands respect - not by words but by actions.
    God bless.
     
    MasterRoshi likes this.
  12. whoami33

    whoami33 Fapstronaut

    120 + days ago i told myself that i can not trust myself for being pornfree so i installed porn blockers with hard passwords and blocked everyloophole when i found them you may need to do so.
     
  13. Bijuu107

    Bijuu107 Fapstronaut

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    Well I guess a solution could be to ask her for forgivness and at the same time to show her that you could give her the warmth feeling about you that she once have.
    I, m sorry for all of this and I,m sorry for your wife.
     
  14. randomguest

    randomguest Fapstronaut

    Stop blaming yourself man. Ok you are addicted to porn and probably you did some other mistakes, but you realized it now. We need to be responsible of our actions but blaming ourselves does not help anyone. You need to relax and think with fresh mind. Take a walk in nature, listen some good music, drink some wine and think about your life in the future. You love her ? Go and tell her. Bring her some flowers, show her your love and stop nagging. As you said you have two daughters and I am sure both of you love them. Just have a nice conversation with your wife, express your feelings and pick the best option for you and your family. Good luck !
     
    Bijuu107 likes this.

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