So last night I was on the whiskey and slipped up and watched cam models . Girls are hot but it doesn't really go anywhere. You basically just see a woman you want to fuck and are just teasing yourself so I escalated it and looked at trans porn . Now I feel physically sick . What in the all that is holy . For the love of god I need to stay away from porn for good because you shouldn't feel physically ill. That shit is just fucking disgusting
Yeah I feel ill after relapsing too. It depends on what I'm watching. Vanilla stuff tends to just leave me drained but more extreme stuff can give me really bad anxiety.
Im the same way vanilla drains me (because it's be used too much) and more extreme stuff i get flashbacks probably because what I have seen has shocked/traumatized my brain so it can take a few days before I can relax and the flashbacks stop . Really probably need to get therapy or something for this habit and why I escalate it to the point it's.damaging
Porn is brainwashing. If you gradually escalate you don’t notice it and that it why it suddenly becomes a big shock.
That has happened to me before too. After like 180 days without PMO, I started up again and I would feel not only depressed, but also physically weak, a bit nauseous, and really irritable after PMO.
The adrenaline shot I got when I watched was the thing that always got me- I'd start shivering and my stomach felt like it turned inside out. Glad that garbage is behind me, I feel miles better.
