Feel Like Lot’s Wife

[rwilli62]

Hi there,
So I’m here again. I’m a mixture and depressed, fearful, angry, relieved and numb. Depressed that I keep doing this and how it makes me feel. Fearful of being discovered and losing opportunities in work, church, etc. Angry that my methods are only partially effective while seemingly consistent at failure. Relieved that I’m behind honest before others. Numb to the idea that this is something worth thinking about as it never seems to change.
I have always had issues and now feel like God is really let me feel awful about sin, even worse than in the past. There’s more at stake now, married, have a child, a job I DON’T want to quit, a church I DON’T want to lose, and a ministry I’m grateful to be a part of weekly. I have an accountability partner but he can’t do this work for me. I listen to good teachings between sessions at work but whenever I have a free moment, the temptation returns. Maybe doing M with some level of back door P (I mean pictures or whatever blockers don’t catch) about every other day. Just tired of this crap.
Thanks for reading.

 

[Tao Jones]

The battle is in the heart and the mind. That is where it must be fought and won.

I am praying for you and cheering you on. Take the next right step.

 

[Get behind me Satan]

Don't lose hope my dear friend; you can overcome this. When you start to gain momentum you will realise how right it is to abstain then desires and temptations will slowly lose their grip on you.

 

[Faceplanter]

Hi there,
So I’m here again. I’m a mixture and depressed, fearful, angry, relieved and numb. Depressed that I keep doing this and how it makes me feel. Fearful of being discovered and losing opportunities in work, church, etc. Angry that my methods are only partially effective while seemingly consistent at failure. Relieved that I’m behind honest before others. Numb to the idea that this is something worth thinking about as it never seems to change.
I have always had issues and now feel like God is really let me feel awful about sin, even worse than in the past. There’s more at stake now, married, have a child, a job I DON’T want to quit, a church I DON’T want to lose, and a ministry I’m grateful to be a part of weekly. I have an accountability partner but he can’t do this work for me. I listen to good teachings between sessions at work but whenever I have a free moment, the temptation returns. Maybe doing M with some level of back door P (I mean pictures or whatever blockers don’t catch) about every other day. Just tired of this crap.
Thanks for reading.

The next time you feel tempted. Catch it. Grab it and hold it in your minds eye and inspect it. Turn it over, think about it and why you like it, why it's a temptation. Revel in those feelings, experience them fully and understand them. Then throw the thought away, into the garbage bin of your mind. You can't control temptation. You CAN control how you respond to it.

And, quite simply, treat anything close to porn as porn. Any search for porn is the same as watching 100 videos. Lingerie, swimsuits, fitness clothing, slinky dresses, naughty celebrities, they are (for a time) the same as porn. Be very careful about relaxing your watchfulness with these P-subs....it will come, but be cautious in the extreme.