Feel lonely but don't want anyone around

[Reneg4de]

Hello.

I think i'm in the middle of a depression and i do not know what to do, I feel like i "lose the will to live" i mean i don't want to do anything, my life was the same before the pandemic.

It's like nothing can bring me joy except porn and it's bad beacause i'm addicted to it and to my fetish.

i feeling like my chest is compresed and i'm lacking something, i also have this loneliness feeling but i do not want anyone around me because they eventually would know who really i am, or also think that want something from me.

Just tried not PMO a month ago but i failed because i'm weak and cannot control myself.

Just wanted to share this with you, thanks for reading

 

[Awedouble]

I bet a lot of us have had similar experience, I have.

I call what you describe a social anorexia. The truth I think is even all these regular face to face recovery meetings that existed before all the lockdown was really just scratching the surface. You can go all the time and be reserved like I tend to be, but it was convenient and it was something rather than nothing. And now we just have online stuff and people are less engaged, but again it's something that is available. A lot of people will go, listen maybe share a little or not and then just bolt after and not get into any conversation. But they'll go again, it's a slow process. Over time it might get a little more comfortable.

And just as a reminder a lot of people don't last a whole month their first attempt, not sure if you're new to this process but if so again you're not alone. Gradually you may have longer and longer streaks.