Feeling Disgusted. Not accomplished..

I guess I'm on the same boat as you, except I'm only 18 and I'm getting envious of my high school peers as most of them have sexy girlfriends, many friends, are in great shape, have fancy cars, etc. I've never had a proper girlfriend, still a kissless virgin, most of my friends (if I can even call them that now) don't like me now, I'm still learning to drive and recently lost my shape and fitness. Not exactly practicing what I preach at the moment when I say this (although I'm trying and starting to have little success), but I guess you just have to stop comparing yourself to other people and focus on YOURSELF ONLY. Or even, feel happy for them and inspired by them instead of feeling jealous of them. Idk, this is just some bullshit I've heard from the internet and from my parents. I guess my aim of my response wasn't to expect you to follow my crappy advice, but instead just to let you know that you aren't alone. Even young little shits like me are on the same boat lmao.

 

I've had similar experiences in my past, when I had some real anxiety with talking to girls (I mean from a romantic perspective, I had plenty of girl *friends*). It was really tough when I felt like a loser when comparing to my friends who all had girlfriends or girls they bragged about. Things turned around eventually, though I had some real sexual hang-ups until I got into the PUA subculture for a few years in my 30's, which I *sorta* recommend (but with strong reservations) to get good at conversing with women and comfortably showing interest in them beyond friends.

There are a lot of things I dislike in the PUA scene, like the pseudoscience and overgeneralized attitudes about women. But there is some good stuff out there about being confident while boldly truthful. Cold-approaching someone in a friendly way, while having the gumption to ask them out on a date if you like them, is as useful as it is still frightening lol. Don't do it for sex though, I rarely found dates doing this... Do it to build resilience.

If you want to find a wife, I recommend being able to get to this point, so that you have the tenacity to be strong and find the right partner for you. It takes time, a lot of soul searching, and caution with who you date.

Sorry, I'm assuming you're in a decent sized city, is this the case?

Don't be too jealous, in a few years, some of those friends will be in unhappy marriages that you won't know about until divorce happens.

 

I feel you dude im on the same boat it hurts when your friends are talking about their sexual encounters and you have little to contribute. It makes me feel awful and immensely, emasculated and insecure. Due to this I have my depressive episodes similar to you where I sleep for ridiculous amounts of time. Its our coping mechanism for feelings of inadequacy and shame but we must change our behaviours or stay like this forever. This is no way to live and would suggest the best thing to do is stay active and talk to as many woman as you can. Maybe pick up a second job or try to join a social groupe where you can causally interact with more women to work on your game. Hope this helps bro keep faith that this will pass.

 

I used the word "scene" but maybe "culture" is better... I mean, there is an overreliance on anecdotal evidence and flimsy conclusions made about field reports and interactions with women. There are so many variables involved when you go up to a women, it's a real gamble whether or not they'll be warm to you or not.

On the upside, there is value when it comes to evolutionary psychology and using scientific studies to help dating, and certainly it identifies social norms that we should question. The focus on personal development/inner game can also be life changing when it isn't focused on women. The healthiest advice consists of things that make you happier, and being decent with women is just a side benefit (rather than the end goal).

The professional PUA's have questionable characters, and admit that I was surely flawed in a way to put in a bunch of effort to chase girls. I think it's risky to take their advice since it's going to be biased to support their lifestyle, beliefs, and agenda's. So take everything with a grain of salt.

But yeah, I expect Milwaukee to be decent, where if you make a blunder you can just run away and be forgotten lol. I grew up in a tiny town where everybody knew everything, NOT a good place for social exercises/anonymity.

 

What you're describing sounds actually like depression. I'm not a psychiatrist, and one can't diagnose someone from an online post, but I suffer from depression myself. What you going through and feeling sounds like times when I am depressed. Oh and porn/sex-addiction pretty commonly goes with depression.

Have you considered seeing a mental health counselor? Or talking to your general practitioner about medication for depression? If you are depressed, dealing with it through medication and/or talk therapy could make an amazing difference in your life.