Feeling down but not out.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Mitsuro, Jun 21, 2020.

  1. Mitsuro

    Mitsuro Fapstronaut

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    I just wanted to share my feelings about something. I just bumped into someone I know and it’s left me feeling down. I know I will come out of it and it’s not a mindset I want, I have to be honest though.

    I haven’t seen this person for a while and they always did well for themselves and they are now in a really good place, got a beautiful family, got an amazing career and just got a new job with a gigantic salary, just got a top of the range new car, he is healthy and in shape, just about to buy another property.

    It really makes me compare myself, I’ve wasted most of my life so far with addiction, PMO, alcohol, drugs, gambling, escorts, food and gaming. I’ve been in recovery for a number of years and don’t drink, drug, gamble or use escorts anymore. As of late I’m free of PMO for nearly two weeks. I just needed to express that it made me feel so inferior and shame about my life. I know I should feel happy for him but instead it makes he feel embarrassed about my own situation. This would be a classic trigger for me to lose myself in PMO and not face reality and go on that downward spiral but I intend on staying strong.

    I know I shouldn’t feel like this and but sharing plus doing something constructive after will help me move my mind in a more positive direction. I know I will build my self esteem over the next few years and I will be free of the shame and emptiness that come from PMO.

    Thanks guys.
     
  2. If you are going to compare yourself to someone, compare yourself to the old you, the journey start when the now you is trying to be better than the old you, that’s the difference between a Champion mindset and and a Challenger mindset. The Champion is fighting not to win the belt but to be a better champion than has was the last match, to be the best ever, his goal is an idea. Challenger main goal is to beat the belt holder, the champions limit bar in hard-work and self discipline is limitless because it changes with time in fact it has no limits because an idea has no limits. The Challenger self limit for hard work.. is limited, its limit are a that of the belt holder he needs to face he will train as much as the belt holder he will compare himself with the belt holder, some shoot to beat the number 1 and others shoot to be the number one, to be the best ever. We all make heroes of other but at some point in your life you have to learn to be the hero of yourself.
     
  3. Hi man,

    Thanks for sharing this. Congrats on 2 weeks of no PMO, it's not a easy challenge. I struggle with self esteem issues as well. I graduated from a very good business school in America. Some people made it to the Forbes magazine cover of top 25 under 25 list or show off their various property on social media. Seeing this makes me feel bad about myself, because I had to leave 2 bad job environments and my career never took off. It took me a while to realize that it's not about what other people have, whats important is what i want. For me it's make enough money to start/support a family.

    You can't judge someone and how happy they are with the material things they have. You don't know if they are truly happy or suffering. A lot of people want to hide the truth so they won't be judged or feel embarrassed so they will always so you the best version of themselves. Whatever job this person do sounds stressful. I know from my experience, the more money someone makes the less time they have for themselves or their family as the corporate environment is cut throat and you could be fired if you make the wrong political move. Or get unlucky and get laid off.

    skullfull7 makes a very good point that you really should be competing with the old you. I would also add that you should have clearer goals in what you want from your career as well as personal life. For example, I work in a safe and stable 40 hour a week job. My work environment is not always stressful and the nice thing is i have a lot of time for myself or if i were to start a family. I want this more than I want to work 80 hours a week and making $140,000 a year. Once you have a clearer idea of what you want and you achieve those things, seeing someone else has should bother you less or not all.
     
  4. Mitsuro

    Mitsuro Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the support guys. I just wanted to be honest about how I was really feeling. I have done a lot of denial over how I feel sometimes and not expressed that out of embarrassment of feeling a way I know I shouldn’t. Part of my journey with this stuff to be honest about how I feel, I can do a really good job at pretending im fine when I’m not.

    I definitely need to tap into the winning mentality.

    Thanks guys
     
  5. Thats normal man, every successful person goes through that, you have beaten your ego and admitted it, ego does nothing but point your towards a direction that serves no purpose in life, the next step is to believe everyone is prone to failure and that failure is a lesson a chance to grow and expand, with patience and endurance and self belief anyone could turn a failure into a story of fortune remember all great things were created not out of accident or chance like most people think but rather created from a simple thought backed by Belief, imagination, a plan and the patience to endure countless hours and momentary failures until that plan is realized no matter what you see. Momentary failure is progress if the loss is overcome, definite failure is when you quit not when you lose :)
     
    Mitsuro likes this.
  6. Mitsuro

    Mitsuro Fapstronaut

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    Thanks I appreciate that. I definitely want to turn things around and live as the best version of myself.
     
  7. Mitsuro

    Mitsuro Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, appreciated!
     

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