Feeling Emotionally Distant

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Trying My Best, May 21, 2020.

  1. Trying My Best

    Trying My Best Fapstronaut

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    So I've been feeling emotionally distant from my boyfriend recently. Btw I'm gay, not sure if that will affect the type of responses I get, but I welcome everyone. We've been dating for a month. For context, he and I went on two really awesome dates before quarantine while we were both on spring break from college, so we've been talking for a while now. I really like him, we have great chemistry, and I've had moments where I feel connected to him emotionally while we've been apart. He also knows I'm in the process of recovery from P.

    Here's where the issue starts. Recently, before we've started dating, I've found myself questioning my emotional attraction to him. I keep telling myself that this emotional disconnect is from the distance and lack of physical interactions with him. I'm just really stressed and confused. I'm not sure if it's the distance, the lack of physical interaction, the effects of porn and reset that are affecting me, or something else. What it could be, I don't know. My situation is super specific to me and I understand it might be tricky to answer my question, but maybe someone has experienced these feelings of uncertainty or insecurity in the relationship that might know? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
     
  2. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Is he doing something to turn you off? Maybe now that you know him a little better after a lot of talking your interest in him just started to fade away? Are you taking daily, several hours? Are you talking to someone else?
     
  3. Trying My Best

    Trying My Best Fapstronaut

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    There are some things that turn me off, and I have considered that. I'm willing to compromise with him in several aspects, which is why I think I've crossed it off my list. We also talk every day because we have a snap streak. We do talk, but not for as long as I did at first. When we first started talking I was constantly talking to him. Now I go several hours at a time before the next conversation. I've let go of how much we talk for sure, since he also doesn't like messaging first. And I haven't talked to someone else, I've been exclusive to him since before we started dating.
     
  4. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    This is killing attraction for both of you. There's no time to miss the other person, no time to wonder what is the other person up to. There's no anticipation of any kind. After a few days/weeks it get's a little borring, you don't have anything to talk about.

    My advice is... stop messaging. Just message each other to set up a video chat date 2 or 3 days before of it. It should be at night and doing something, maybe eating or having a drink.
    That will make both of you miss each other a little bit, have a lot more to tell the other person that happened the last few days, and build anticipation, you can't wait for that date to arrive to talk to that person. All of that things creates attraction.
    In the mean time both of you should be busy doing what ever you want to do. That's when comes naturall not message each other all day, since you are both really busy is natural to set a date when you both can have some quality time toghether.
     
    Organicclaud and Trying My Best like this.
  5. Trying My Best

    Trying My Best Fapstronaut

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    I'm so glad I'm getting this. I try not to message him as often during the day and I really like to hear from him, even if its just for a little bit, but I will definitely take this advice into account. Thank you!
     
  6. Organicclaud

    Organicclaud New Fapstronaut

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    You might be going through a lot of preferential changes also because you're in a reboot. That may be why you are questioning your emotional attraction to him.
     

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