Feeling far worse after 1 month NoFap

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by OtB_RedBaron, Apr 27, 2018.

  1. OtB_RedBaron

    OtB_RedBaron New Fapstronaut

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    I'm 20 years old, never had a girlfriend out of lack of confidence to try (can't get rejected if you never try mentality) and started NoFap out of curiosity about a month ago (worth noting that before starting it was about once every 3 to 4 days). Before starting, I wasn't particularly anxious or unfocused but I thought it could be better, I was motivated and working on lots of goals, got a scholarship, made gains at the gym etc. I usually had no problem at all talking to people unless I had a strong interest in them.

    After going NoFap for one month I'm feeling extremely socially anxious. I'm constantly judging myself after everything I say. ("Was that the right thing to say", "Should I have said that in a different tonality") Really can't get out of my head anymore. I'm so self-conscious about saying things that I sometimes start to stutter or slur words. I also feel really self-conscious about not having had a girlfriend which never really happened before aswell. I feel awkward standing around people and start to constantly change posture. I can't talk for a long time or tell stories anymore without constantly getting feedback that people actually care about what I say, etc. I have an overall feeling of low self-worth even though I think I've accomplished a lot and spend lots of time working on long term goals.

    I'm not sure what's happening to me or if I should continue NoFap. This feels like it's actually harming me. NoFap itself hasn't been very hard for me so far but the consequences have been. Any advice please
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2018
  2. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    That's how I normally feel.

    Why do you think it is related to NoFap? Maybe you have some expectations which haven't been met yet, and it makes you feel that way? Maybe you expected some "superpowers"?
     
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  3. Out of the Furnace

    Out of the Furnace Fapstronaut

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    yeah sounds really weird man. did you tell us all about you or just half the information?
     
  4. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    In my experience with recovery (note that I've recovered from a drug addiction before), sometimes it feels like things are getting worse before they start to feel better. The important thing to remember is that just because things feel like they're getting worse doesn't mean they actually are. You don't feel crappy because things are getting worse. You feel crappy because you're finally facing your problems for what they really are. It's like ripping off a band-aid. It might hurt for a little bit, but overall you have to tell yourself that it will get better.

    Also, remember this: quitting porn is not a sacrifice. In fact, it's one of the greatest gifts you could give yourself. Porn makes you a slave, so when you quit porn you're really liberating yourself from those chains. You are giving yourself the opportunity to be free, and giving yourself a second chance at living a healthy life.
     
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  5. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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  6. OtB_RedBaron

    OtB_RedBaron New Fapstronaut

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    I don't know that it's because of NoFap but there really hasn't been anything else I can think of that could cause this. Nothing special really happened in the last month. I know a lot of people have worse problems. I'm still motivated and like my life and work on my goals when I'm on my own but as soon as I get around people I feel like I'm constantly getting judged even though there's objectively no reason to think that. Feels like I can't make any meaningful connections with anyone (not just girls) because of fear of saying/doing something wrong. It's not like I was really smooth and extroverted before NoFap but the problems I occasionally had on a bad day before are permanent now. I'll be moving from germany to the US permanently in 4 months from now so I can't look for a girlfriend either at the moment, so maybe that might have something to do with it. I don't have any abnormal craving for PMO while on NoFap either and I think I could continue, but I'm afraid that this insecurity and lack of selfworth will be "burned" into my mind if this goes on for too long.
     
  7. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    Dude, moving to a new country is a really big deal. I'm sure you have some strong emotions surrounding that. That's going to be a massive transition in your life: new language, new culture, new politics and government, new friends. I wish you the best during your journey over to the US. I think it's important to listen deep within yourself on matters like this. Overall, I think it's wonderful that you're committing to staying away from porn. I think it will do you a lot of good. Things will get better, man :)
     
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  8. bken

    bken Fapstronaut

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    Flatline, PAWS.. Things get worse before they get better.
     
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  9. bken

    bken Fapstronaut

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    By the way, you guys need to understand that porn is the ultimate high. Take it away and the brain won't know what's happening. It will initially feel depressed or even super stressed (to the point of an actual disorder) as nothing is capable of providing the same sort of high, with very little effort.
    There are some good articles on yourbrainonporn.com about this. With porn, your primitive brain actually thinks it has won the evolutionary jackpot. If you take that easy route to a flood of dopamine away, depression is actually logical and to be expected.

    1 month in can be a very dark place in time if your addiction was severe.
     
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  10. AsharKiller

    AsharKiller Fapstronaut

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    You sounded like me . The only difference is that my streaks are greater (1 year,6 months). It is the normal feeling that your brain doe not want to accept easily. Just don't relapse.Because it is more worse.
     
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  11. EthanW.

    EthanW. Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, you might consider that there is something deeper at play, here. In my experience, people use things like porn and PMO behavior as a sort of "band-aid" to cover up issues that they have not wanted to deal with, from their past. Even things being experienced in the present may be playing a role in your now-noticeable social anxiety.

    Do you journal? If not, you might think to start, and see if you can't find out why you were using PMO activity in the first place. That might at least provide insight in to how you substitute PMO for other social, physical or mental actions. Also, try to pin-down why you feel judged by people when you are out in public. Feeling self-conscious might be a cultural thing, or something that stems from your age, but you should be thorough in deriving meaning and causes from the different aspects of your life.
     
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  12. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I've read quite a few thoughts from people who have done a full reboot, and there's a pretty common theme that many days you can feel really bad in any number of ways.

    It doesn't matter if it's anxiety, pain, dizziness, exhaustion, confusion etc. It's almost guaranteed to be just withdrawals.

    Don't think recovery is a serious of good days followed by better ones. More like up and down, sometimes down for a few weeks, and then after some time (usually months), your overall perspective will get better!
     
    EthanW. likes this.
  13. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    They have to strap down hardcore alcoholics, to beds because their body is in detoxication process. You have an even worse addiction which is linked to the will to reproduce. Tribes have killed other tribes for their women, men have worked for 15 hours so their genes would reproduce, just like water snakes travel 10 thousand kilometers to lay their eggs. You think that after one month you can override, something that is so deeply ingrained in your human nature, which has made a man kill, slave away and sacrifice himself? Well, just becuase you are getting your dopamine kick and feeling less stressed while tricking your brain that you are fertilizng a woman won't do it. You're not getting the real thing and in the long term even your brain gets it. Quitting and going back to that nasty habit will bring you only despair, I vouch with myself. A month was the biggest streak I've done, I literally felt.like shit and I didn't have my stress releif now. I tricked myself and just surrendered to this immense pleasure. I've been fapping for months now about 5 times a day. I feel drained and even more miserable. But man every kick i get after fapping to that prefectly picked girl I found images of... heaven for 2 minutes , then sorrow for the rest of the time. The biggest mistake I made is that I convinced myself that I'm worthy of fap - oh I'm depressed because I'm not where I want to in life, let's fap to lessen the pain... Each time i fapped i knowed it was not the right the decision which made it even more painfull mentally. Give up and you'll regret it. Regret is one of the worst feelings, pathoses... You're helpless against it, what is done is done and you can't change it. You know you are not your past only and yet your past defines you and you can't let go. My biggest fear in life is that I'll be like this till the rest of my life. 3 years, 3 long years, where I make a conchious deliberate determined effort to quit this... and yet it's not gone... Is it possible to quit it? It is. Will I quit it? I do not know and that scares me. It scares me immensely. It's like almost that I have this addiction like a part of my life now and I'm indifferent to it. I rarel think about it when i do it when i'm about to do it and when after i have done it. If you have already made an unjust sentence to be guilty there's nothing that can make it dissappear. You are the judge and only authority that can change it. So convince yourself hard enough, I really hope you do that you are not worthy of fap, just words from a despearte guy...
     
  14. Ultimate high?? Higher than crack and cocaine?? So, the withdrawals are gonna suck major ass and we should expect to feel super bad, especially for heavy users, is this what you’re saying?
     
  15. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    I think it depends on who you are. From what I understand, drugs like cocaine can have physically exhausting withdrawal symptoms when you try to quit using them, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's more difficult to quit cocaine than it is to quit porn. I think it depends on how deeply ingrained the addiction is. I've met people who have only used cocaine two or three times in their lives, I've met people who used cocaine for a long time (over one year) and were able to quit using it without too much difficulty, and I've also met people who died because they couldn't quit using cocaine. Everyone is different, and everyone who experiences addiction is going to experience it differently.

    As far as withdrawal symptoms from using porn go, I don't think you necessarily need to be afraid. Some porn addicts who have quit using report experiencing withdrawal symptoms, but not everyone does. I don't think it depends on how much you use porn, either. I considered myself to be a pretty heavy user (almost daily), and I didn't experience any withdrawal symptoms at all when I quit (currently 45 days without porn). I've had urges to watch porn since quitting, and sometimes they get to the point where the urges are bothersome or irritating, but I wouldn't consider those urges withdrawal symptoms. I haven't felt any physical discomfort since quitting porn, I haven't felt more anxious or more depressed, I haven't felt any negative changes in my health at all. If anything, quitting porn has made me feel better and better every day. I feel more confident in myself, I feel more satisfied with my life choices, I've been enjoying sex more, and I generally feel happier.

    I hope that helps settle some of your worries surrounding withdrawal symptoms. If you are experiencing anything unpleasant that you think might be a result of quitting porn, try asking about it on the forum. We're here to help.
     
    Baledoz likes this.
  16. Lol I actually wished you told me that I should be expecting withdrawal symptoms because my brain is not functioning optimally at the moment, I know I’m smarter than this or at least was, so I want to kno why. I think I have brain fog and anxiety and depression or it’s all because I’m dumb, so if I knew it was withdrawals or something then I’d feel better but right now, I feel lost and hopeless... I don’t know what to believe and what to look forward to
     
  17. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    Hey, like I was saying, everyone experiences addiction differently, so what you're experiencing could be some sort of withdrawal symptoms. All I'm saying is that I haven't experienced any myself.

    However, if you're really feeling anxious and depressed, there's stuff you can do about that whether the cause is withdrawal or not. Exercise makes your brain very happy, and meditation makes you feel calm and grounded. Since I started nofap, I developed a routine for after work: I go for a run and then I meditate for fifteen minutes. It makes a huge difference, and I believe that if you adopt a similar routine you will find yourself in a better mood overall. Try getting more sleep, too (I'm not so good at this one, so I should probably practice what I preach).
     
    Gmork likes this.
  18. bken

    bken Fapstronaut

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    If it has become a habit, then yes. It depends, as Ridley says, but the effects porn has on the brain are very similar to those of cocaine. Not necessarily as bad, but porn is definitely capable of elevating the levels of certain neurotransmitters by at least 300%. The human nervous system isn't capable of coping with levels that high (edit: well, it's capable, but it will rewire itself to function accordingly (a bad thing)). I'm not a scientist so by all means, consider this to be bro-science if you want, but I won't be far off. If porn was used a single time, no biggie. If it's been abused and if it has turned into a full blown addiction = biggie. A lot of actual scientific research has already been done on this subject, and the outcome has always been very definitive: porn can and will rewire the human brain, if abused. Withdrawal from porn addiction is a very real thing. If you've abused high speed internet porn for let's say a decade, you are going to go through some sort of withdrawal no matter what. It's only when you are in that situation, that you can fully understand what porn is capable of doing. Withdrawal from porn is hell.

    Kids, boys of 12-13 years of age, whose brains are still developing, should definitely be prevented from seeing this toxin. As it involves natural rewards, porn is indeed very addictive. You can find thorough studies and information on this matter on several good sites. YBOP is a site on which this information is explained in smallest detail.
     
  19. Gmork

    Gmork Fapstronaut

    Some great replies here, and they're all from guys on the same road to recovery, albeit at different stages.
    It's different for everyone.
    My first streak was a piece of cake.
    The second was like walking through emotional cement, but things balance out after a while, and it gets easier.
    Stick with it.
     
    James0224 likes this.
  20. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    My first reboot was like a purge. This one is a little easier but seems to be getting harder now the last few days.
     

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