Sadly I’m not new to this forum. This is a long post. But I need to vent and I need advice. My husband and I have been together for 7 years now. Recently married. (About 4 months) We’ve been dealing with P addiction since the beginning of our relationship. About a year ago, he successfully gave up P and M. Hasn’t done it since. He gave it up because he was done with it, and done with our fighting about it. But still didn’t fully believe his problems were linked to nofap. Instead, it feels like he replaced P and M with our sex life. We became like robots. Every 7 days, HJ with lotion, sitting beside him while he looks at my body. (Not face). Never wanted to have sex. Only craved that hardcore HJ. I told him how I felt about it. That I was just an object to him. We weren’t making love. I wanted a connection. He listened, we talked, but nothing changed. Until recently. Now, a little something about him, he always linked his problems to something else. He always thought he had to be in the tropics living a completely natural life. He just thought that was the only thing that would help him feel better. I knew better. I knew this was a nofap issue. But he had to figure that out for himself. He was at least on the right path with giving up P and M. So I supported him, and figured out how to get us to the tropics to see if this would help him. Well, we went, and within the first two days, it hit him like a rock. His whole world, his whole vision came crashing down, and landing on nofap. It was like an ephifany. He finally knew it was nofap. He gave up the porn, but replaced it with our acts. He knew he needed a hardcore reboot. He had been looking at P since he was 9. 15 years of damage. Not to mention we never truly made love or connected, because he couldn’t. He always wanted no connection sex. Now this is where I’m having trouble. I’m 100% ok with abstaining from sex or anything so he can heal. He’s the love of my life, I want him to feel amazing and have an amazing life. But, doing this so far, seems like he doesn’t love me so much. I talked to him last night, and asked him about this. And he responded that now that his whole vision changed, he doesn’t know. He is curious about other women. Connecting with them. He says not just fucking them. But connecting. Making love to them. He says he can feel some people’s vibes, and he wonders what it would be like to be with them. I don’t give off amazing vibes because I feel like I’m damaged from this. But while he is working on his journey, I need to work on mine. Then I will be my optimal self. We are recently married. And he has never connected with me in that way. It hurts so much that he is focusing so much on that, instead of trying to fix our relationship. He says these could be fake feelings since he is rebooting. That he loves me. He says he is going to wait a very long time until he would think about acting on these feelings, meaning he won’t just leave me and pursue anything until he’s had these feelings for a couple years or so. And he will communicate with me so I know where his head is at. He says if he could guess, he wants to be with me. And that he doesn’t want to leave me because I’m perfect for him. I hit everything on his list. But he has these curious feelings about being in love or connecting with someone else. I just feel so hurt. I feel like he should be trying to connect with me, instead of thinking about the possibility of other women. We have never made love because he couldn’t connect. Not me. I’m capable of making love and connecting. He was telling me he was looking at his mom and seeing her as more beautiful. Which is amazing, amazing benefits, but I can’t help but think, “wow, he hasn’t said that about me”. He told me he doesn’t want to act so lovey dovey with me because he doesn’t want to get turned on and have sex because he is trying to do hard mode. Which, like I said before, I support. But fuck man, I want to feel loved by my husband. I want that love from him where I can feel confidant in our relationship. He cried at our wedding because it felt so right. And now 4 months later, he is curious about other women. Fuck this hurts. I need to hear if anyone else has gone through this. Could this just be a passing nofap thing? Or does he not fucking love me.