Feeling horny while texting my girlfriend.

You are completely normal. Stay away from porn and it sounds like you won't have all the bad problems a lot of people who are married are going through know. (When the time comes.)

 

based on your message i agree with @WillSquirrel
couldn't have said it better

 

Those of us who are married have hurt our wives in a deep way. When a woman marries a man you become their knight in shining armor. The one person in the world that's always there for them. A shoulder to cry on, the one person who she can call if she is in trouble.

Now imagine a knight and a fairlady going through a dark forest. He's fighting off all the bandits and monsters keeping her safe. Then he takes her down a dark path full of vines and thorns. He doesn't cut the weeds back he doesn't help her walk through it he makes her walk through it by herself. Then, at the end of the path, is a tall tower, that he makes her claim up. When they reach the top, he throws her in a dark room with nothing in it but a small window and a mirror. He leaves her alone, locks the door behind him. She starts to cry and bangs on the door, screaming, why? He looks at the door and says "sorry, I don't know why this is hurting you so much?". He walks away and she's stuck in her dark room. She looks out the window to a world she thought was so perfect but know ugly and black. She looks into the mirror and wonders "what did I do wrong?" Was I not pretty enough? Not happy enough, not good enough? What was it? This is what we as husbands have done to are wives.

Now our wives don't trust us, they're scared of us, we have hurt every part of their life. My wife and I can't go see movies. When we go to the store, the park or out to eat we worry that one of us might be triggered in some way. If I'm triggered it mite make me relapse. If she is triggered then she starts thinking of what I did or how she was not good enough.

Sorry for the long reply.

 

OMG You are amazing...... if you are not a writer you should be...
that was one of the best analogies i have read.
i am an SO whose husband has PA. i said Yup during much of that.

@Firesteel nothing is going to top his explanation

 

Thank you. Thank you for getting it.

 

Although I'm male and single, I believe you. Nicely put.

 

This was truly the best and very true, TY

 

A lot of the advice here is very good. I take issue with your last comment though. Of course you think about her sexually. Love encompasses sexual longing. True, there is nothing 'loving' about what went on in your pmo habits, but you are getting sexually aroused by your partner because you find her sexy and you want to have sex with her. All that is great because the genuine deep feelings are also present. Don't make the mistake that sexuality and sexual attraction are distinct from love, or have no place in a loving relationship. A passionate, caring and mutually satisfying sexual relationship will last a lot longer, and be a lot more fulfilling, that a sexless one, no matter how much you care for one another.

 

That's normal, or at least it happened to me as well last year but I'm single again now. Part of rebooting I guess.

 

Thank you so much for this Will Squirrel. I am in a long term relationship and I hate the way that porn has hurt us. I'm seriously gonna use this as an Incentive to keep going when i get urges!