1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Feeling left out.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by MrSalvatore001, Oct 17, 2019.

  1. MrSalvatore001

    MrSalvatore001 Fapstronaut

    214
    237
    43
    This semester of college I opted to become a day scholar and now I feel really left out of the activities in college and my friend's lives.
    I use to talk to them every other day before this semester but now they are busy with their classes and then after the end of classes I have to leave college.
    So no after-hours meet with friends. And apart from my college friends, I don't really have any friends outside to go out anywhere.
    It's just this feeling keeps lurking every day and making me sad all the time about what I'm missing out on.
    I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
     
  2. This is a tough situation to be in. It happened to me in the past - you get used to having regular contact with your friends because you share a schedule. You don't have to put much effort to meet them and have fun and you take that for granted.
    Then things change and even a simple meeting requires a lot of preparation. Well, it definitely sucks.
    What I can recommend - don't be afraid to be the one who asks other people out. Make plans and invite other people. Be prepared that they might not agree all the time. Be more open than usual.
    It's not an easy solution for sure. But it works.
    Wish you all the best!
     
    amaranth and MrSalvatore001 like this.
  3. Randy Andy

    Randy Andy Fapstronaut

    382
    426
    63
    I think most of my life is more about things below the details like motives, feelings etc than the surface stuff of "what's going on.". Maybe it's the same for you, I think I hear sadness and longing pretty clearly. Longing is wanting something, doesn't matter what is wanted just we want stuff. Easy to think the fix is to get that stuff :) but I have a bunch of stuff and find that satisfaction is more like a choice than a condition. People love to jump in and give us lots of suggestions do this do that without ever taking with us about our feelings. For me the feelings don't necessarily go away after I take action, which is saying a lot because actin is really important and helpful if it'sRight actin. Take porn as a small example, feel longing desire whatever you want to call it, watch porn there may or may not be a feeling of relief but there may also be more new feelings about the watching, and it's not like the feeling of longing is mitigated or anything, if it isn't felt immediately it'll be pretty soon. Rinse repeat ad nauseum. The idea of resentment really helps me understand the nature of feelings and this cyclical stuckness I sometimes get in. Used to get in it all the time it rather was in it not getting out and back in but just always stuck in the loop so if you'd said to me "you're feeling sadness over and over" I wouldn't really have been able to hear it, like a fish in water. Re means again and sentment means feeling so a lot of my life I was hounded by feelings I thought I was done with. Often thought are interrelated, the two feed each other symbiotic Ally: feel desire for connection then thought comes "I don't have opportunities to hang out with friends because I'm a day scholar" and so sadness joins a further inflamed feeling of longing, at least that's what it would be for me. So another way to say this is that loneliness is not a feeling it's a thought that bolsters and is bolstered by feelings of sadness and wanting interpersonal relationships.
     
  4. MrSalvatore001

    MrSalvatore001 Fapstronaut

    214
    237
    43
    That's what it feels like to me.
     
  5. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

    1,192
    1,614
    143
    Are there other people there in the same situation as you? Because they are likely to feel the same way, and will respond better to you reaching out to them (on average - nothing is guaranteed).
     
  6. MrSalvatore001

    MrSalvatore001 Fapstronaut

    214
    237
    43
    You mean here on this Forum or in my college?
    In my college, I don't think I know anyone in the same situation as me.
     

Share This Page