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Feeling like I suck

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Lustorlove, Aug 17, 2017.

  1. Lustorlove

    Lustorlove Fapstronaut

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    i really feel like I'm someone who totally skipped the part in life where you learn to socialize. I have like one good friend and try to socialize but it usually doesn't lead anywhere. I fear it is because of how awkward I am so it stops me from actually being who I am. Is this normal among us fapstronauts?
     
    Hardboiled24 likes this.
  2. j__todd

    j__todd Fapstronaut

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    "Doesn't lead anywhere" means what exactly? Many people are awkward but still socialize and embrace the awkwardness. Work on setting goals and your confidence will naturally grow from the discipline. Before you know it, little by little, you'll start caring a little more about your goals and a little less about what they think. It takes time but little improvements leads to massive changes.
     
    Hardboiled24 likes this.
  3. Lustorlove

    Lustorlove Fapstronaut

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    Like what kind of goals? I want to become someone who can express himself and be charismatic but I struggle so much with finishing sentences without fumbling on my words or words not coming out how I meant them to. Like I can think of times where I meant to say something sincere and it comes out weird and sometimes dickish
     
  4. Lustorlove

    Lustorlove Fapstronaut

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    I feel like I'm too bad at making conversation to really practice at it I struggle coming up with more than a few questions to say then become silent
     
  5. Michael Beets

    Michael Beets Fapstronaut

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    Ever heard of the saying practice makes perfect, that applies to social awkwardness and lack thereof as well. The only way you will get better at it, is if you keep doing it and even if you feel like fool for saying something stupid. Then next time try harder.

    I find myself in a similar situation to yours, what kind of sucks is that this good friend of mine is leaving the country soon. So I need to adapt, I have to make a commitment to go out to meet other people. It could even be as simple as just swallowing your pride, and start talking to people at your workplace/at school that you normally try and avoid. Is it scary, hell yeah. But when has something worth doing ever been easy to do, we need to commit. Even when we fall, then we pick ourselves back up and try again (and again).

    Good luck dude! Remember if you ever want to talk we're here lurking the forums, with support I know we can do this. :)
     
    Hardboiled24 likes this.
  6. It's not super common, but I've had the same experience. I've overcome it through hard work, just constantly push your boundaries. Scream in public (maybe don't do that right away), talk to people, don't give a shit about what they think of you. I used to be pretty awkward, now I'm better than most at conversing, and plan to learn pick-up soon, so I'll become well above average :D

    Here's some tips I can give you:
    1) Play music from your phone out loud as you walk around to and from places, no headphones, as loud as it goes.
    2) If you think, "should I say X?" in the middle of a conversation, then just say it. YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN'T BE STUCK IN YOUR HEAD. You NEED to be immersed in the moment. Even if it's dumb shit, it doesn't really matter what you say.
    3) Scream. This helps me a lot. I do it once every couple of days.
    4) Try to speak 20 % louder than normal.

    That's it from me. Hope you try some of these out :D
     

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