I've been in fighting this addiction for 3.5 years. The first time I stopped, I did hardmode for 50 days. It was easy. I thought I wasn't an addict, so I tried relapsing. Worst decision of my life. Not immediately, because after that I also had some good streaks. 125 days, 166 days, 70 days... But since 2020 I can't get to 30. Last week I was on 18, then I ended things with the girl I was dating and that became the perfect excuse. Of course, I already know about all the problems of porn addiction and how it affects me. But I just fell like I am two people. Eventually I will become the man who doesn't care about doing harm to himself. Not because I am sad nor anything (it may be, but not necessarily), I just don't mind it. And then the cycle repeats itself. And everytime I am on day zero (like today), I feel like everything I can do to escape this addiction is useless. Like I know I'm gonna lose. I don't stop fight, nor I ever will, but my point is that, if I could fight porn with more hope and 'the eye of the tiger', I think I would do better. I exercise, I only take cold showers (for more than 1.5 years now), I eat healthy, I sleep healthy, I have friends. But it seems I can't defeat porn. All I ask is if somebody knows what I can do to try to wake my soul.