Feeling Sad/Afraid/Hopeless

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by HatingThis9999, Feb 21, 2019.

  1. HatingThis9999

    HatingThis9999 Fapstronaut

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    I haven't masturbated since Sunday. Which is good; I'm happy about that. I felt like I had to start "hard mode" because porn was really causing serious problems in my life. I feel like it's always caused problems. I found myself masturbating for 3-6 hours sometimes. It ate up massive portions of my day, and I think that habit formed due to me using that as a method for coping with anxiety as a teen, and it just carried through into adulthood. Recently I started losing a lot of sensitivity, and last weekend I had an issue where I couldn't get fully erect, which was terrifying for me. I also felt a numb feeling in certain spots where I noticed a bruise from over masturbation that day and the two days prior. I recently went through a bad break up which caused me to fall back into this.

    I decided to start "hard mode" and it's been pretty difficult. I deleted the porn off of my computer which was difficult because I had some weird attachment to it. I unfollowed a few people on Instagram and spent a solid day cleaning everything to give my place a weird sense of symbolic and real purification, and a promise to myself that I wouldn't screw it up.

    Frankly right now I'm terrified that I'll never be able to have a normal sex life again, and that I just blew it. I keep wanting to start touching myself to "just make sure everything's still alright" which feels like an offset of the "use it or lose it" mentality. I'm trying hard not to now.
    People said just leave it for a while and sensitivity will come back, but I feel so hopeless, and lonely right now. Which is messed, because I spent the entire day with people up until the last hour.

    Anyway. I just needed somewhere to get these thoughts out. Any advice is always appreciated. I just really want to beat this and for everything to go back to normal.
    Do you think there's hope?
     
  2. oretna

    oretna Fapstronaut

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    As long as there is life, there is hope! You might need an AP, how do you think?
     
  3. HatingThis9999

    HatingThis9999 Fapstronaut

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    An AP? I'm not sure what that acronym is in this context.
     
  4. backtolife42

    backtolife42 Fapstronaut

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    I think its very unlikely that you caused damage so severe that sex will be impossible. Not being able to get completely hard is pretty normal if you have been masturbating too much. If you are really worried, and you still feel the numbness, visit a doctor instead of trying to fix it by masturbating. But as I said, most likely in a couple of days you will wake up with a strong morning wood and know that everything is going to be alright!
     
  5. HatingThis9999

    HatingThis9999 Fapstronaut

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    My doctor basically just said that this kind of thing doesn't happen to people my age, which I know isn't true. He said it's just anxiety and that's it. I know it's not just anxiety though; it's different. He said other things that simply aren't true too. He's an older doctor and I don't think he's kept up to date with a lot of things (For example he thinks most medical applications that use stem cells are a pipe dream).

    Anyway, I'm hoping that things start to look up. Earlier I started feeling a bit of tingling in the numb area. It's also the fifth day with no PMO so I'm happy about that.
     

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