Feeling suicidal

SaiyanWarrior

SaiyanWarrior

Fapstronaut
Hey so after years and years of PMOing I'm completely numb now. My dopamine receptors are fried. I can't feel joy, enthusiasm or any motivation no matter what. I've all the problems that you think of due to PMO and still after everything I keep relapsing again and again no matter how hard I try. I'm very numb now. What's the point of living if I continue to live like a loser.
 
The reason to carry on living is that you are actually (although you may not think so right now), an amazing living being. If an alien was to look at you as an example of our species, they would be in AWE of your complexity, your ability to regulate fuel intake, maintain efficiency (fitness), socialise with others, and most of all..... the incredible organ in your head which is your brain. By the power of thought you are able to change whatever you want by making decisions and with the help of others.

There is another reason to carry on living. You are loved by others. But without knowledge of your state of mind they can't give you the support you need. That love extends to those who work in the emergency and support services and those who are on this forum. I am not writing this to tell you what to do. No way. I respect you feeling this way. I have felt like this too, on the past. Please change whatever you feel you are empowered to at this difficult time. With much love, ODNT.
 
You share the same problem with at least 90% of people here I believe. We are all here trying to love ourself and improve our life. What’s the point of being desperate when there are so many amazing things waiting for us outside of the room full of dirty cum napkins? You’re here for a reason, you’re already in pain so stop whining and get a reward from it.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
SaiyanWarrior said:
I don't know bro. It's been years and I'm very numb and worthless
Click to expand...
Make yourself get into a situation where porn would be inaccessible, meaning that you should change your environment for at least a month if you can't just stop like that. You will notice a significant change and finally get a glimpse of hope and purpose. It's difficult but you have to be aware of the fact that you don't need porn to survive and it's in fact the opposite, and that all you have to do is just not do ONE thing which is PMO for a month (and hopefully for longer)
 
wormlust said:
Make yourself get into a situation where porn would be inaccessible, meaning that you should change your environment for at least a month if you can't just stop like that. You will notice a significant change and finally get a glimpse of hope and purpose. It's difficult but you have to be aware of the fact that you don't need porn to survive and it's in fact the opposite, and that all you have to do is just not do ONE thing which is PMO for a month (and hopefully for longer)
Click to expand...
I wish that too but can't because of my job. Besides P was never a problem. Even if I don't watch P for a month my brain just imagines stuff and I masturbates to that fantasy in my mind. There's no escape from me wherever I go.
 
Last edited:
I just want to let you know that you're not alone man, even if you feel like you are. You got a whole community here that has your back. I've been in a lot of low places in my life that led to me having some serious harmful thoughts, mainly as a consequence of pmo. I also know about the severe dark bottomless depths that pmo takes you down. It destroys lives. But we can turn this ship around bro. One day at a time. Your best life is right around the corner- believe me. There's hope for a brighter day. You're in the eye of the storm right now but you can get out of it. If you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out.
 
TimeToquitFolks said:
Kid its gonna be alright. Stop complaining and do something about your situation. Sadly, I have been addicted to porn nearly over a decade. I have PMO up to 6-8 times a day for 4/5 years. Stop feeding your addiction. The moment you decide to quit for life make a pact with yourself and stick to it. The past 4 years (2017) due to severe desensitization I have escalated down a very bad paths. Its started of with vanilla stuff then escalated to bondage, violence, rape, public humiliation, punishment, foot and other crazy fetishes, lesbian, gay and sissy, bi, transsexual, bestiality and camgirls. I have developed all sorts of OCD such as HOCD. Stop yourself because its not too late. Gary Wilson talks about porn addiction in depth. Watch his videos on YouTube. You need to practice self control. You need to build discipline. Its the only way to succeed at NoFap. Good Luck kid its not too late for you to make it this time.
Click to expand...
Wow! I am still new to porn. So much to learn... I mean so much not to learn.
 
SaiyanWarrior said:
Hey so after years and years of PMOing I'm completely numb now. My dopamine receptors are fried. I can't feel joy, enthusiasm or any motivation no matter what. I've all the problems that you think of due to PMO and still after everything I keep relapsing again and again no matter how hard I try. I'm very numb now. What's the point of living if I continue to live like a loser.
Click to expand...

How long have you joined this forum for?

Are you writing a journal documenting everything?

Have you tried everything? Have you read everything on here?

You are not alone, if you need help, ask for it. You will get some sort of answer. Also there are so many posts, you can read from. Spend some time to understand nofap

Are your reasons for nofap strong enough?
 
SaiyanWarrior said:
I wish that too but can't because of my job. Besides P was never a problem. Even if I don't watch P for a month my brain just imagines stuff and I masturbates to that fantasy in my mind. There's no escape from me wherever I go.
Click to expand...

You speak as though you are powerless against this, as if this addiction divested you of your ability to say "no," or at least understand that this addiction is disruptive. I used to be like you, being prone to fantasies and such... it is quite a pain, sure, but the action is taking place all within your mind. You have to make your best effort to try to reorganize your vagrant thoughts and overstimulated thinking. You'll be fine, don't listen to the depression; just be very leery - every time a bad thought comes to your mind, do everything you can to clear it. This can be easily done if you were to settle a doctrine / mode of thinking.

Take note of how chaotic and demeaning it would be to think of X, and all things such as Y that relate to X...

Control your thoughts, earn your vitality back. It's that simple, unfortunately, we are complex, intractable animals who overthink things far too much.
 
Always Keep Going said:
This can be easily done if you were to settle a doctrine / mode of thinking.

Control your thoughts, earn your vitality back. It's that simple, unfortunately, we are complex, intractable animals who overthink things far too much.
Click to expand...


To me this is incredibly insensitive. Try telling alcoholics that it's simple to recover, they just need to control their addiction with thinking harder. We're all trying to kick this thing. For some, it's a bad habit. For others, it's a compulsive addiction. For the addicts among us, there is a loss of adequate willpower at a certain point. Maybe OP is in that boat.
 
Always Keep Going said:
You speak as though you are powerless against this, as if this addiction divested you of your ability to say "no," or at least understand that this addiction is disruptive. I used to be like you, being prone to fantasies and such... it is quite a pain, sure, but the action is taking place all within your mind. You have to make your best effort to try to reorganize your vagrant thoughts and overstimulated thinking. You'll be fine, don't listen to the depression; just be very leery - every time a bad thought comes to your mind, do everything you can to clear it. This can be easily done if you were to settle a doctrine / mode of thinking.

Take note of how chaotic and demeaning it would be to think of X, and all things such as Y that relate to X...

Control your thoughts, earn your vitality back. It's that simple, unfortunately, we are complex, intractable animals who overthink things far too much.
Click to expand...

I agree. Thoughts are everything. The mind is where the true battle is waged. Once I realized this in my own life, I was able to overcome my addiction much more effectively.
@ OP,
I HIGHLY suggest you take a look at your thoughts - what are you thinking about on a day to day basis? How depressed you are, how shitty this addiction is? How you feel hopeless and you might not ever overcome it? STOP thinking those thoughts. Change begins with your mindset. If you don't believe something will happen, then it won't. Begin to believe that you not only can but WILL overcome this... and then start taking the necessary steps to do so... and watch the transformation take place, my friend.
Don't accept a life of defeat. There are a lot of us here that have been exactly where you are - some of us even lower than that, even... and we managed to climb out of that dark place of despair. You can, too, you just need a little bit more self control, discipline, and a positive mindset. Let go of all your past mistakes and start fresh. It's never too late and you're never too far gone
 
SaiyanWarrior said:
Idk man. Nothing helps. Watching thoughts either
Click to expand...
Nothing will help with that attitude, you are damn right.

Each and everyone of us (including me) already knows what to do. Deep inside yourself you fucking now. Eat good foods, discipline yourself, read books from people who are more successful than you, go work out daily, find your passion and purpose. Improve yourself and try to become the best version of yourself. Whatever it is for you to change and improve yourself.

Stop comparing yourself with others, but compare yourself with who you were yesterday. Use the 5-seconds rule from Mel to do the little unsexy things in your life that will make it better. Start by making up your bed when you wake up, don't hit the snooze bar, go brush your teeth and drink some water. Go for a run and work on your dreams, goals, bucket list or whatever.

Don't wait for the perfect moment to change your life neither wait till you hit rock bottom. Because there is always another layer of crap. I wanna bet my life on it, that you haven't even tried 40% of what you can do or what you are capable of. Motivation comes and goes so don't count on that.

Your body has taken over your mind at this point, you aren't even aware of this. The second you wake up, you are already living in the past, going thru the same emotions, feelings etc. Go fucking meditate and take back control man. Go get some and actually try things.

When you really really really really tried everything then you come back here and can whine about how terrible your life is. I'll whine with you together then, but not before you actually tried.
 
SaiyanWarrior said:
Idk man. Nothing helps. Watching thoughts either
Click to expand...
In that case, the only thing that will help is yourself. You have to stop looking for some magical deliverance and start reaching within to find that discipline and strength you have... everyone has it no matter who they are or what the situation is.... you just have to choose whether or not you're gonna use it.
 
Factpet said:
Nothing will help with that attitude, you are damn right.

Each and everyone of us (including me) already knows what to do. Deep inside yourself you fucking now. Eat good foods, discipline yourself, read books from people who are more successful than you, go work out daily, find your passion and purpose. Improve yourself and try to become the best version of yourself. Whatever it is for you to change and improve yourself.

Stop comparing yourself with others, but compare yourself with who you were yesterday. Use the 5-seconds rule from Mel to do the little unsexy things in your life that will make it better. Start by making up your bed when you wake up, don't hit the snooze bar, go brush your teeth and drink some water. Go for a run and work on your dreams, goals, bucket list or whatever.

Don't wait for the perfect moment to change your life neither wait till you hit rock bottom. Because there is always another layer of crap. I wanna bet my life on it, that you haven't even tried 40% of what you can do or what you are capable of. Motivation comes and goes so don't count on that.

Your body has taken over your mind at this point, you aren't even aware of this. The second you wake up, you are already living in the past, going thru the same emotions, feelings etc. Go fucking meditate and take back control man. Go get some and actually try things.

When you really really really really tried everything then you come back here and can whine about how terrible your life is. I'll whine with you together then, but not before you actually tried.
Click to expand...

Wow. Thanks bro. I'll try all of what you said. I'm shocked that you could actually pinpoint that which I'm going thorough. Amazing
 
Factpet said:
Nothing will help with that attitude, you are damn right.

Each and everyone of us (including me) already knows what to do. Deep inside yourself you fucking now. Eat good foods, discipline yourself, read books from people who are more successful than you, go work out daily, find your passion and purpose. Improve yourself and try to become the best version of yourself. Whatever it is for you to change and improve yourself.

Stop comparing yourself with others, but compare yourself with who you were yesterday. Use the 5-seconds rule from Mel to do the little unsexy things in your life that will make it better. Start by making up your bed when you wake up, don't hit the snooze bar, go brush your teeth and drink some water. Go for a run and work on your dreams, goals, bucket list or whatever.

Don't wait for the perfect moment to change your life neither wait till you hit rock bottom. Because there is always another layer of crap. I wanna bet my life on it, that you haven't even tried 40% of what you can do or what you are capable of. Motivation comes and goes so don't count on that.

Your body has taken over your mind at this point, you aren't even aware of this. The second you wake up, you are already living in the past, going thru the same emotions, feelings etc. Go fucking meditate and take back control man. Go get some and actually try things.

When you really really really really tried everything then you come back here and can whine about how terrible your life is. I'll whine with you together then, but not before you actually tried.
Click to expand...
Holy shit. This is applying to me. Throughout the past few months I've few feeble attempts to *actually* deal with repeating emotions, memories, visuals. I need to meditate more often. I need to actually define myself. Thank you, in absolute gratitude, for making it click.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top