Feeling unsatisfied with sex and women

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Daxos, Oct 26, 2019.

  1. Daxos

    Daxos Fapstronaut

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    Dear Brothers,

    I feel like I am the only one with the following problem:
    Sex and women do not satisfy me

    Let me explain. I started NoFap a very long time ago because I started getting bad erections. I had developed PIED. I had had sex before a couple of times, and it always made me feel really empty and lost afterwards. I felt like it was a pure waste of time, energy, semen and personal happiness. I felt betrayed. People put so much value to sex and women, and here am I, feeling dissatisfied and thinking like ''Is this really what people commit murder, rape and all that other shit for?''. Don't get me wrong, sex feels great, of course, it is intended to be, but it doesn't satisfy me AT ALL. Just like drugs feel good for a moment, but do not satisfy at all but only destroy.

    I've had many streaks already, many days of trying to do NoFap in the hopes of getting my erections back and getting better with girls to get more girls. Last month I had my shot. I was dating with an amazing girl. She was sweet, caring, introverted like me and beautiful. We have had sex multiple times already and although it felt great in the moment itself, I ALWAYS felt so unhappy and lost afterwards.

    I am not sure if this is all still caused by PMO or that I am just.... different. I am on 70 or something right now (tracker is not updated, and if you do not count the sex I've had last month), so it could still be the PMO demon that is desensitizing me to the real deal, but I can't help but feel empty, lost, unhappy after real sex. It just makes me feel really tired, drained of life and drained of energy. I really wish to know whether I am just the only one or if someone else experiences this as well. It seems like everyone around me just wants to maximize sex and is convinced it is the best thing in the world. For me, I'd rather listen to great music than sex, do some awesome programming instead of sex, go to the gym instead of sex.

    I've been thinking of going MGTOW. I feel like women and sex are not for me. I feel like I am meant to be alone. It doesn't bother me that much, I am an introvert and really need my quiet place, but I still feel a little bit weird, since sex seems to be the motivator for everyone around me.

    I would like to hear how you guys think about my post and my feelings. I wish to learn and hear from you.
     
  2. Meisterkatze

    Meisterkatze Fapstronaut

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    Dear Daxos,

    have you ever thought of starting a longlasting relationship with a woman? Maybe you just feel unsatisfied with woman, because you think it is all about lustful sex. But nature wants you to procreate and settle down to raise a family. As long as you have other intentions than reaching a goal, why should you feel satisfied with your actions in anything? Don't try to use woman for your pleasure, like a drug you consume.

    The only true satisfaction lies in fatherhood and a lifetime of raising an offspring you can teach and guide through all his or her struggles.
    Get married and take responsibility for your seed that could create a new life and god will give you the fulfillment you so deeply desire.
     
    JC_ALCO and Daxos like this.
  3. Grey is colourless

    Grey is colourless Fapstronaut

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    Yeah you need to build that chi meeeen. It is my belief one should be totally celibate until the lower dan tien is formed.
     
  4. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I would stay away from MGTOW. That people are incels with confidence.
     
  5. Daxos

    Daxos Fapstronaut

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    You sound like my nephew. He is a very devoted catholic. I have alwasy admired his sense of belief and his faith in God. I do not believe in the same way, but I really do recognize the strength and purpose of the way he believes, and the way you believe as well.
    I have thought of longlasting relationships a lot, but it seems I am cursed. Whenever I came to the point of transitioning with a girl to the relationship phase, I started to panick and feel like I was doing something I did not wanted, something that would limit me and not serve me in my goals. Because of this panick I always felt, I have declined over 5 girls that really wanted a relationship with me... and right now I am dating a girl and I am starting to feel that same panick rising since we are getting close to that transitioning.
    I still have no idea why I am like this
     
  6. Daxos

    Daxos Fapstronaut

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    You need to explain haha, because I have no idea what you jsut said
     
  7. Daxos

    Daxos Fapstronaut

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    Many people in the MGTOW community are posers. They didn't really Go Their Own Way, they were just SET their own way. I really like the fundamentals and the honest part of MGTOW. There are some very admirable MGTOW people, but unfortunately, there are also a lot of dishonest incels who would die to be with a woman but can't, and then justify that by claiming they are MGTOW. Those men are posers and give people like you a very bad impression of what MGTOW is supposed to be represented by
     
  8. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    You sound asexual, or maybe homosexual? I'm not sure yet.
     
  9. GripStrength

    GripStrength Fapstronaut

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    It’s probably just from meaningless sex being meaningless. That’s what I think I’m like. I couldn’t even get into it during the fact. Also something about random sex seems off to me when I try to do it.
    I found someone by accident with a lot of things in common though. And not being a fan of just random sex being one of them.
    Too early to tell but it feels good.
    You might just randomly find someone that’s similar to you in what ever ways that you are.
    I personally am still weirded out about my personal life because I always thought I’d just die alone, but now I am not sure.
    Anyways, ya, never know what’s out there in terms of not being alone.
     
    Daxos likes this.
  10. Daxos

    Daxos Fapstronaut

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    I was waiting for someone to comment the homosexual part. I guarantee, I am not gay in the slightest way. I have been heterosexual my entire life and have always been, and still am, attracted to girls. Boobs are my favourite. The asexual part you might be thinking of is probably just the complete desentizisation due to PMO
     
    Get_It likes this.
  11. Grey is colourless

    Grey is colourless Fapstronaut

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    I have a good number of friends who are celibate and for long periods, much more htan the average of this forum and even years, like even over 10 years....They talk about sex often being miserable, especially if done os often as normal people do it.

    A lot of couples might as well masturbate their own selves privately, because they keep draining themselves through excessive, cheap sex. The males especially in these kinds of couples...very little brain power because for males the physical ejaculation starves the brain and body of blood and other things.
     
    Daxos likes this.
  12. TIMMY0110

    TIMMY0110 Fapstronaut

     
  13. goodnice 2.0

    goodnice 2.0 Fapstronaut

    you’re in a good spot actually
     
    Daxos likes this.
  14. User019365

    User019365 Fapstronaut

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    Completely normal sex is such a high your bound to feel low afterwards. If I was you I’d try having sex without ejaculating
     
  15. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

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    Let her blow you off.
    Have harder sex.
    Focus on her giving her orgasms, that gives a lot of fun.
     
    george53 likes this.
  16. george53

    george53 Fapstronaut

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    I totally agree. I recently realized that everytime I got a post-PMO like feeling after sex was just because I used it to pleasure myself only. If you focus on the woman, observe her reactions etc. instead of only your personal pleasure, you will avoid that sort of bad feelings once it'll be finished.
     
  17. HVL85

    HVL85 Fapstronaut

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    I somehow feel the same way. But then again never had sex apart from with prostitutes. It's just boring though. It seems like it costs more effort than it gives you pleasure. Maybe I'm just lazy, maybe I'm just depressed. But still, P gives me more satisfaction somehow due to all the diverse material available. It IS somehow disappointing to know I'll probably never be able to enjoy 'regular' sex anymore. I'm starting treatment for my PMO problems pretty soon. It's my recurring depression that is really the root culprit of all my problems.
     
    Grey is colourless likes this.
  18. John Eses

    John Eses Fapstronaut

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    I think the issue is PMO. You are used to being overstimulated. Also, as I've got older, I've come to realise that even lust has, at its base, a desire to be wanted and to please someone else. I have had long term gfs, short term gfs, one night stands, have visited escorts, etc. And I've found that the only times I've enjoyed sex, irrespective of looks, is when I have felt some connection with the other person. For example, I had a short term gf who I never managed to have an O with, because we just never quite connected on an emotional level. On the other hand, I met an escort who was friendly, a little vulnerable, spoke about her "real" life, was actually into the sex we were having, and it was one of the best experiences I've ever had. Now, she may have just been a brilliant actor, but that doesn't really matter because I bought it, and that's what made it a great experience. So maybe you need to find a woman who's a little bit more shy and reserved, and work up to a sexual relationship. Build an emotional connection first.
     
    HVL85 and george53 like this.
  19. HVL85

    HVL85 Fapstronaut

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    I think you're right @John Eses . Connection does seem key. P can keep you under the delusion that she needs to be 'perfect' physically (which is different for everyone) before you can have pleasurable S with her. Not that I have any experience to confirm it, it just sounds right what you said.
     

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