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Feeling unworthy of girls because of things I fapped to

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Neophyte, Nov 5, 2017.

  1. Neophyte

    Neophyte Fapstronaut

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    I doubt any girl would be enthusiastic about her bf fapping to transgendered people and gay porn, I'm pretty sure if a girl found out she would lose all attraction to me lol. How do you guys feel about girls knowing your history with porn?
     
  2. Skeptic25

    Skeptic25 Fapstronaut

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    One of the scariest nightmares I ever had was that everyone I knew was able to see my browser history lol. I woke up sweating and shaking. It's probably one of my closest guarded secrets.
     
  3. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    It's certainly nothing to be proud of, and I think seeing things as shameful that are shameful is important. This permissive attitude of sexual exploration is how we all ended up here in the first place.

    All that being said. Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal. I bet some of the girls you are worried about have done even worse not that that makes what you did OK. JMO
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2017
  4. Marcothebest_1995

    Marcothebest_1995 Fapstronaut

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    One of the best parts of rebooting is that you ideally put all your devils on a ship:

    - internet history
    - porn collection
    - profiles of instagram that are NSFW
    - strange rituals
    - erotic chats on my mobile phone

    and you make this ship blow up, no more devils hauting you, they lie on the bottom of the sea, harmless.

    I don't have anymore to be afraid of leaving my pc open with strangers without me, there is no more internet history or porn collection. I don't have anymore to be afraid to leave the mobile phone to a friend while I let him see my gallery or my instagram home page
     
  5. Lau

    Lau Fapstronaut

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    Is very common for men to watch porn girls already know we watch porn but what type of porn that is a secret you should keep to yourself.
     
  6. The woman I'm talking to right now (we met online a few months ago) has been real supportive of me. We've connected pretty well and shared things about our past and struggles. It's a relief to be completely in the open with someone and lay it all out there. Honesty is the best policy. While I haven't told her all the types of porn I've watched she understands it's a struggle that I'm dealing with and she's been helping me through it. I couldn't imagine her or anyone else finding out any other way besides me telling them.
     
  7. Honestly My porn history is not questionable or disturbed, so I am fine with that.
     
  8. Byris

    Byris Fapstronaut

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    Don't talk about it. Just put it behind you. Forget about it. That's what I'm doing.
     
    forbiddenPLACES and Sailor like this.
  9. Okay do you have any tip you can give me?
     
  10. Byris

    Byris Fapstronaut

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    It's not magic. You can put that in your past and never think about it again, but you can't do that if you keep on indulging. Never watch porn again, and never bring it up.
     
  11. That all depends on the person, since everyone is an individual with different view points and understanding. Whilst one person might be outright disgusted, another may be able to offer support. It also depends on your sincerety and whether or not you are clearly taking steps to deal with your issues. You can't make everyone happy. For me it's imperrative that I am honest about my past because that shows well..honesty and allows the other person to gain an element of trust. It would be much much worse if you hid your past from them and they somehow found out. I'm not saying it's a subject you want to bring up on a first date, but once you've got to know each other a bit and quite possibly before you get to 3rd base you might want to share it with them. Some people can apprecaite and respect a man who shows his vulnerable side in certain situations. It's something i fear too since i have not been on a date or been remotely close to intimacy with another woman for well over 10 years but i know for me it's better to start with friendship and learn to trust each other first. There is no rush to jump into dating or a relationship, if it is something you want then eventually you will find someone but there will probably be rejections along the way and that is one of the biggest hurdles i think men have to face (and women) the prospect of putting yourself out there with all your flaws and good bits only to be rejected, learning to deal with that rejection in a positive way i think is par of the battle.
     
  12. Neophyte

    Neophyte Fapstronaut

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    It just seems weird to even bring it up. Like you're about to fuck and suddenly "Wait, before we go forward, I fapped to transgendered person porn." I think at some point you just have to let it go and if it comes up naturally be honest about it then, but if everyone had to go through a list of every little thing that their partner would find unattractive about them before dating we would all be screwed.
     
  13. That would be THE worst time to confide in them, I'm talking about when you meet up or have them round for dinner. People are in such a hurry to have sex, you know that's not the only thing that's important about a relationship. If you can't be upfront and honest with a woman then you have to ask the question, do you really deserve her affection or her trust?
     
    Jennica and Deleted Account like this.
  14. Neophyte

    Neophyte Fapstronaut

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    I seriously doubt anyone confesses every problem they are dealing with before progressing a relationship forward.
     
  15. actually just focusing on 'sexual sobriety' first and foremost has helped here rather than struggle with 'what others might think', redevelopment of our own healthy mindset(s) will give you/ourselves permission to move on and let the past be the past. Guilt and shame ultimately are the cycle of addiction trying to regain control of our lives...
    i was once told by a councilor in rehab that refusing to forgive myself is to deny the God who has already has.
     
  16. Every single human has done some bad things they are ashamed of. That's normal. A woman will respect you if you are honest about your mistakes and own up to it. She WON'T respect someone who lies and puts on an act like they're perfect.
     
    Gotham Outlaw likes this.
  17. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    I think its inconsequential at this point especially for some of us who are on streaks or trying to cut it out we aren't defined by our circumstances we all on here trying to rid ourselves of porn and fapping you shouldn't be concerned about what others think it's what you think and your making the effort to rid porn and fapping from your life that's all that matters but from my personal experience I don't think it matters too me what women think of my porn history because I try to live in the present moment and at this moment being almost 8 months of pmo I finally found out where all the shame was stemming from in my life
     
    Knighthawk and forbiddenPLACES like this.
  18. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    Well said
     

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