Feels like it gets more difficult every day atm

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by LonelyKu, Mar 14, 2020.

  1. LonelyKu

    LonelyKu Fapstronaut

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    So this morning is day 11 and I'm finding it super hard to ignore the urges, I'm succeeding so far but I was hoping things would start to get easier at this point. I think I've had a problem for maybe 10/15 years that's probably escalated in the past 7/5 years and now that I'm recently single after an abusive relationship I find myself in my head a lot.
    I started trying nofap when I was talking to a girl on tinder who has since ghosted me probably because I'm boring af. But that all happened within like 3/4 days and here I am at day 11, I feel like the further I make it the less I want to break my first streak.
    I also seem to have some pretty big issues with loneliness but I'm learning to isolate to a degree that is forcing me to look within for happiness instead of looking to the external world to fill an internal void.
    This might seem a bit all over the place but my mind is all over the place, today I have to try and move all the rest of my shit out of the old abusive relationship flat and I feel pretty stressed about it.
    All of these things at the moment make life feel tough but I also know that the deeper the trench the higher the peak.
    I really like that this forum is here as just getting my thoughts and struggles into the world helps get them out of my head. Some people are strange but I appreciate all the people who have commented on my last posts with words of encouragement I think that has been insurmountable in terms of helping me as reading these things and trying to learn myself really helps me move forward even in these tough times
     
  2. juniormelville

    juniormelville Fapstronaut

    What do you mean by 'learning to isolate'? Do you mean you are deliberately withdrawing from society, or learning to feel OK about spending time on your own sometimes?

    There is some validity to your idea of 'looking within for happiness', but it shouldn't mean turning away from the external world. You're right that you shouldn't rely on external circumstances for your happiness, but that doesn't mean giving up worldly activities. If you really want to joyfully renounce the world and become a monk, you will need the support of more experienced practitioners in a monastery in whatever tradition suits you. Otherwise, if you live in the world, you have to fully engage with the world but not be dependent on external circumstances for your happiness. Looking within for happiness does not mean staying at home and thinking about yourself. The happiness within is found in the midst of worldly activities.

    Have a look at my most recent journal post for an example of someone I know who has got quite a long way towards achieving this.
     
  3. LonelyKu

    LonelyKu Fapstronaut

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    Well I've always been a bit of a loner and recently have felt like my small circle of friends aren't very supportive and I don't know if I could go to a pub or something on my own, If you're familiar with mbti I am intj so Ive felt like an outsider most of my life and I think that coupled with loneliness is exactly what allowed an abuser into my life.

    I haven't been saying no to events or invites to things just yet it's more that I don't really seem to get them in the first place.
    I feel like this lonliness thing is gonna be the most difficult hurdle and I've found journaling extremely helpful in this but I wonder if it's something that will ever go away.
    I tried to find the journal but couldn't, are you able to drop a link?
     
  4. juniormelville

    juniormelville Fapstronaut

    There's a link on the sidebar on my post. Is there any way you could find new social contacts who are more sympathetic? Survivors' groups?
     

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