Feels like ive done this before (starting my reboot)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by The Dave, May 18, 2019.

  1. The Dave

    The Dave Fapstronaut

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    So this is a bit of a strange one and ill try and keep it short.

    Short bio, im in my mid 30s and for most of my adult life i have been grossly overweight, suffered from low self esteem, depression, drank far too much, unsuccessful with women, people wouldnt think twice about bullying me/ wouldnt stand up for myself, chronic people pleaser, my flat looked like a crack den etc

    Number of reasons for that, epilepsy medication with steroids and heavy metal derivatives means i can put on excessive weight without limit, crazy stressful job wiping the bums of egotistical sociopaths with masters degrees in bullshitting and blame avoidance, and intense familial pressure to succeed. ( my mum once went ballistic at me for GETTING a job, yes getting a job. Another time she had a go at me for getting a pay rise and a promotion!Yes, she is that highly strung) but hey, you can point the finger at anyone for your problems, theres still three pointing back at you and one pointing at god.

    Also i was a chronic masturbator. I could easily whack it off 12 times off in a waking day. You can tell i was a pretty lonely and sad individual wanking his life away.

    Anyway, few years ago the industry i worked on collapsed, totally. Im not taLking hundreds or thousands of lay offs, but hundreds of thousands of lay offs, including myself. Got to admit there was a wee bit of schadenfreude seeing the bullshitters id had to put up with finally being found out. Couldn't get a jib anywhere, super markets wouldn't touch ex oil and gas lads, couldn't get a job throwing junk into a skip on a building site, nothing.

    So i applied for a job working in France building camp sites. Best thing i ever done.

    Now i didnt even know of noFap at the time so it wasnt even a conscious decision but i stopped masturbating. I was sharing digs with 2 other guys so didnt get much privacy, there was no wifi or internet connection, i had wicked carpul tunnels syndrome from the hard manual labour, and i was just tired from labouring in the hot sun all day too. The effects were nothing short of amazing.

    I lost over 20kg in weight in about 3 months, id finally had a job i loved, i made some great friends, became confident, started running in the mornings, wasnt drinking myself into oblivion, pulled the best looking girl on the campsite even though i was about 8 years older than her. When i came home from, i bumped into a girl i knew the 2nd week back and i hadnt seen her in years. She'd always been exactly my type of girl. After that night she was my girlfriend.

    Unfortunately we are no longer together, it was a nasty split and got nastier after we split. I still love her and i think a part of her still loves me but i know we were bad for each other, i can only hope shes happy now. Wasted a lot of energy and time being angry and bitter at the only woman whose said she loved me. Loves a funny thing.

    Fast forward a few years and i finally git a job back in my industry (3 and a half years of a down turn, the oil industry is f##king useless) because i had to clear a few debts, make some money. Had to travel 700 miles from home with no friends and back to dealing with snidey, BS merchants and all their snidey BS. Taking grief even though i delivered a project for 50% of the budget and only two weeks late, (when i got there the job was 10 weeks behind schedule at least)

    and wgat happens? You guessed it. im stressed out, drinking too much, piling on weight,12kg in six months no matter how much i exercised and dieted,chronic insomnia and aye, im fapping. It got to the point i wouldn't leave the house at the weekend, Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday just fapping relentlessly. Into double figures easily. Porn, fetish websites, the cute blonde with glasses on the big bang theory, news readers, weather girls, her off countdown, soap operas, anything!!

    So last week i come across the concept of NoFap and the more i read the more i realise that ive already done it once and the results were literally life changing.
    I wont say i was totally abstinent in those 6 months in france but i went from masturbating literally dozens of times a day to say maybe once a month or 6 weeks. I know stopping wanking aint going to magically make me loose weight or fix things with my ex girlfriend, but i know its a tool to take back control of my life and reap all the benefits that brings with it.

    So im into day 2 of a hard mode reboot and excited at seeing the results that i know can come from it.

    Cheers
    Dave
     
  2. Jake n Bake

    Jake n Bake Fapstronaut

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    Awesome story and honesty. Thank you so much for sharing that brother.
     
    The Dave likes this.
  3. Great post. thank's for sharing
     
    The Dave likes this.
  4. The Dave

    The Dave Fapstronaut

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    Cheers lad.
     

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