Female, left an abusive relationship, alone...

Big question is how you ended in the relationship in the first place? There are two people in a relationship and both are held accountable. But you must take ownership for your actions and understand why you missed the red flags and no one came to help you irl - friends,family etc. This is heavy subject for a forum, I'd suggest journaling and saving some money to go to therapy. Possibly look for communities/groups with people that have faced the same. Never been in one cuz never needed to but have seen ads on a town/city/national and even worldwide level.

 

Im so sorry that you have experienced such a difficult time.
You've done the best thing for yourself however as staying in an abusive relationship will never get better.
I can imagine that all of a sudden it must feel very lonely as it seems that this experience has cost you a lot.
But you have gained threads of your freedom even though it may not feel like that right now.
Im sure that in time you can make amends with your family and friends. Its common that victims of abuse isolate themselves from their support network because of the choices in the past where they have supported their abusers.
In time i am sure that you can reconnect and they will forgive.
But right now please keep yourself safe and find little ways to look after yourself if you can. Maybe get a little teddy bear and hold it close when you feel down, this often works well as it can represent self care.
It may be tempting to return when you are feeling alone and vulnerable but please don't.
Always remember, never look for happiness in the same place you lost it!

You will be in my thoughts and prayers

 

We support you, Lisa! Just ask if we can help with anything!
Not much to say, but this;
If I was here with you chilling out, and we were having some nachos and some soda, and you told me this, just wanted to let you know all I'd be able to say across from you is, "I'm deeply sorrowed by what you've gone through, and I'm so sorry!"

 

It sounds like you are doing the right things, keep being effortful in engaging your counsellor, when it gets hard and or you dont want to go thats when you need to go the most. When you get pissed off or uncomfortable then thats the start of change.

Yes I understand, I too have returned to make another commitment to not engaging with PMO as well.
This is such a dangerous thing for grief and traumas. It just sneaks back into my life and takes hold of me.
But just need to remember that it does not make my problems better.
It just gives me another problem to add and its so bad for my mental health.

Happy new year, lets both make 2023 the best it can be by making good decisions!

 

Your strength impresses me.

 

In the process, thank you for sharing your story.

 

Loleliness is only a perception. There are always people who like us sincerely. If your ex blinded you of those, to reaproach family is usually a good idea. A therapist might help. It often requires courage to seek for help. Never think you're alone. People who care for you believe you can make it.

 

I am sorry that you are in this tough situation, and i hope that things got sorted out legally and emotionally. My advice is just to push forward, and it is a good decision you made by seeking out a support group. In that way you will overcome obstacles more easily.
I can't comment on your situation regarding bf, since it is a personal issue, and maybe its better not to be discussed further unless the things get clearer regarding everything. Know that we are here to support you in your efforts to achieve your goals.

 

I'm really, really sorry about what you're going through and wish you the absolute best on your healing journey. For now just take care of yourself, try to create as many barriers between you and him as possible, for your safety. If the cops can help with that, seek their assistance. Other than that, just try to breathe and digest things.
There are definitely other things you should think about for the future and talk about with your counselor, but for now, just stay safe and take care. You're stronger than you think and way, way stronger than your pain.
Wishing you the best. In everything. We're all gonna make it.

 

Gather evidence about him, ask your neighbors to be witnesses and call the police. If you fear for bodily harm get yourself a weapon like pepperspray, gas gun or taser.

 

Sorry that you have been through this. You might find the book No Visible Bruises helpful. It's written by a journalist who investigated domestic abuse for around 8 years. It might help you understand what has happened to you and why it happened. Having said that maybe it's not the right time for you to read it because people say it's a difficult read. Maybe reading some of the reviews will give you an idea if the book is right for you. You can also listen to an interview with the author here.

 

I had a friend in the past who also was in a abusive relationship, if you need a friend or someone to talk to feel free to message my i also have telegram

 

Therapy is good.

 

Praying for you