female sex addict

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Sexuallyoppressed, Mar 20, 2019.

  1. Sexuallyoppressed

    Sexuallyoppressed Fapstronaut

    i'm worried that im a sex addict.

    i have looked at the online quiz and i fit the criteria and actually got a higher score than my porn addict partner.

    when i look up female sex addiction it annoys me because of the gender stereotypes that women are not the same as men in that we are addicted to romance and that isnt the case for me.

    any other girls out there?

    i broke down and tried to tell my partner and he used that as an opportunity to have sex with me and it feels wrong and unhealthy?
    de severn and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Prov2416

    Prov2416 Fapstronaut

    Before going further, I think it's important that you say why you are here on NoFap in the 2st place and what are your goals.

    The sex addiction question is just a subset of that.

    How do you feel about PMO? What goals fo you want to set for yourself?

    Let's have a conversation about that .
    dukesoup likes this.
  3. Sexuallyoppressed

    Sexuallyoppressed Fapstronaut

    i really don't know, things seem to be out of control at the moment. I became fixated on others, trying to help my partner with his addiction that i stopped looking at myself. I started seeing a new therapist who has forced me to look at myself and now that I am, I am scared and don't like what I see.

    i'm in a relationship so i'm not out having sex with anyone else, although i did confess to going on a hook up site. I didn't do anything or contact anyone but i went on nonetheless. In previous relationships i was addicted to going on these sites and id engage in sexting and sending images back and fourth. With my partner being a porn addict he wasn't having sex with me and I became angry, frustrated and preoccupied with sex. I masturbate and sometimes I want to cry because it isn't pleasurable its a release that makes me feel shit and my mind is constantly searching for dirty images within my mind to get me through it. I'm aware I do it when i feel unsettled or anxious.

    i don't know what I'm supposed to do? just give up porn and hope that I don't follow through and cheat?

    ps thank you so much for responding
    dukesoup and Deleted Account like this.
  4. Hey there & welcome to NoFap community, :)

    You should know you are not alone, there are many females on this website who are in the same situation as you.

    Is your partner on this website? I think he needs serious help and put the effort to get over his addiction, because it is surely having a negative impact on your relationship. Have a good talk together, ask him if he really wants to change and support him in the process.

    -The Winner
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

    I imagine you will get many responses from men. Check out the women-only section as well as the success stories section...
  6. Sexuallyoppressed

    Sexuallyoppressed Fapstronaut

    hes in a 12 step recovery program so he is focusing on himself and his own recovery. I get the notion that he doesnt think that I am a sex addict even though i feel i have been at rock bottom so many times trying to figure out what is wrong with me and he hasnt because i controlled everything to prevent him watching porn
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. I think you should support him in this and do your best to help him recover, I understand you are a s*x addict but you are doing that for the future of your relationship together.

    And also take a look at the "Success stories" section and "Rebooting in a relationship" you may find useful content for you there.

    If you have any question about Rebooting you can ask it in the "Rebooting" section.

    -The Winner
  8. Sexuallyoppressed

    Sexuallyoppressed Fapstronaut

    you are aware that it takes two people to make a relationship work? i have supported him for almost 3 years during all the relapses, the betrayals etc. i cannot do any more for him, but what about my own mental health and sanity? my own struggles?
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. That's another story then..

    You also need help to deal with your addiction, and if he isn't showing you any kind of support, then that's unbalanced/unhealthy relationship.
  10. crazyaf

    crazyaf Fapstronaut

    That is such a hard hitting, powerful quote right there.

    PMO could never be a substitute for sex. Because it's just a release, not the pleasure of sex.

    I wish I looked at PMO that way years ago.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
  11. +TenPercent

    +TenPercent Fapstronaut

    Which program is he in? Is it for sex addiction, or something else?

    If you have identified yourself as a sex addict and have stated that you want to change your behaviour before it gets out of control, then you may want to look into a 12 step program as well. There you can work on your own mental health/sanity and your struggles while building an understanding support network.

    If there are meeting available in your area, I would suggest SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous).
    If that's not available, look into SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous), SCA (Sexual Compulsives Anonymous) or SA (Sexaholics Anonymous).

    You may also want to consider 12-steps for partners of sex addicts such as S-Anon or CoSA.

    I_AM_AWESOME Fapstronaut

    Whether you are or are not, the label addict, does not matter. If that helps.

    Just think of it as... "I love myself, i care for myself, i want to take care of myself. I may be using sex to cover up feelings and THAT'S OK!!! I'm not a bad person, there's nothing wrong with me, I'm not broken, i just may have behaviours and habits I wish to change"

    Start from there, take a moment and breath and start your journey. In some ways its exciting because you're gonna grow, you're gonna get to a better place, you're loving yourself and you already are awesome but are gonna be awesome-er!!!
  13. de severn

    de severn Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    Yes, there are plenty of us girls out there. I agree about the annoying stereotypes. I think whoever created those were being wishful.

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