FEMDOM ADDICTION

Thanks for the reply buddy
I am trying to replace my bad habits with the good ones. I had a severe anxiety when I was taking heroin on daily basis. I used to have the anxiety attacks 2-3 times a day. Some days it was like for the whole day. After few attempts, I finally quitted the drug and after quitting I noticed a very large decrease in my anxiety levels. So, It's been a year and a half and I didn't have anxiety or it's too low but in the past 1 month I see a increase in my anxiety level and I believe it is because of the porn. Porn is the biggest drug in this world.

 

So finally I completed a day without edging after 2 weeks. Yesterday was that day. It was a nice day. I finally committed myself to the acts that were on my mind since 2 weeks. I meditated, took cold showers twice and had done the activities according to my priority. So' I'll try my best to make my each like yesterday but more productive.

Sometimes, I think i've developed a disease due to porn. It's aphasia which I am not completely sure that I have it but almost everyday, I forget the words or have difficulty to speak something without thinking. I don't have a severe aphasia but a mild one and that is the positive side. I am pretty sure I can get rid of these mental disorders or diseases just by quitting porn and other type of addictions. So, i started my day just like yesterday and I hope this time i'll be able to kick out the porn and femdom addiction for life.

 

Yes, It was hard. At that time, I didn't focused on the femdom addiction because I didn't knew that there was something like that in this world. The problem started after quitting the drugs I got a girlfriend and after spending some time with her, I discovered that I had pied. This is when, my self esteem and confidence begin to decrease on a higher speed than usual. I can relate to you brother, My anxiety also gets very high when is large social groups. I can deal very well with people in small groups but in the large ones, my chin starts to vibrate and at that time, I just tries to stay calm so yeahh it's hard.

In my opinion, Porn is much worse that drugs. Don't know much about the normal porn addiction but femdom porn addiction is much worse than drugs. In a drug addiction, You know that if you leave it for 10 days then urges will be gone but nobody knows about how much time does brain needs to heal from pornography. Drug is more of a outside addiction like you need to go out to purchase it while porn is something that the person craves from inside and it's free. This femdom thing lives on "who you are" bullshit and I will not be that person who does nothing and likes to mastrubate only like theses whores say on the videos so how can I feel like one.

Yes, there are many days like where I can't give my best and these are the days that really tests one's will power and dedication to change.

 

It must be not a bad thing for you but I am pretty sure it is for me. I can't get my life on track when i relapase. Sumbitting to a woman is good and pleasurable but just for a time span of sex. Women can't take decisions like men. Women are generally considered as creatures of emotions. Mostly, all the jobs that require social coversations choose women over men. Take a example of airlines, you can find more majority of women over men. As in corporations or big companies, most of the head or director of these corporations are men.

 

Yes, I think that the number of days in equals the number of days out. If one is fueling this addiction for 5 years then it'll take that much time to get out completely but the person gets better and better along with time.

It's a fantasy world. Thinking about becoming a slave to women brings pleasure but actually doing it is boring. Arousal state of a person is 15 - 20 minutes scientifically. Becoming a slave means 24 hours under orders so how a person can feel aroused. He will be unhappy, unsatisfied and with a single goal in his life i.e serving his mistress and he doesn't know whether the single goal in his life is right or wrong so he will be confused also. So, in my opinion it's completely absurd to think about it and thinking about doing it in real life is completely irrational.

Yes bro. Overthinking about will power and relapsing can actually lead to a relapse.

Were you into femdom from starting or it happened due to escalation?

 

Yesterday, I mistakenly edged for 2 times [2-3 minutes each] but each time I controlled myself and didn't cum. I followed every self improvement task that I thought of doing. It's been going great. I just need to sleep early in the night because it is difficult to wake up in morning and late waking up means not following the schedule and not following the schedule means large waves of urges and urges lead to relapse. So, till now everything is good. I didn't edged this morning. Edging in the morning means the brain fog and urges will be there for the whole day so I read news instead of edging and guess what, I felt a lot of motivation after that.
87 days left in the first milestone.

 

Yeah, Without goals and real purpose, It would be nearly impossible for one to get rid of these addiction cycles.
The way these mistresses humiliate gives a very bad affect on brain. Someone who is listening to these mistresses telling him you're pathetic, impotent and a slave all the day then it's impossible for him to find success in his life. These fuckin whores signature attack is to damage one's self esteem.

Like you said brother, It must come from a place of being respectful and playful. I think I would like to do these things with someone who I can trust but only in the sex time span. I am sure, becoming someone's slave is not an option for me. If I have a option to choose from dominance and sumbission, I would like to choose myself as a dominant. In sumbission state, My mind goes in a condition where it can't understand anything, have difficulty in speaking including many more things and this attacks my self esteem.

What about you? Have you ever tried it?

 

My life is getting better and better which each day of nofap. It's day 4 and I am feeling good, confident, more confident than the 1st day. Sometimes urges are there but I am able to control them. Yesterday, I passed the day without edging and because of that, I think my dick is getting close to the deadline period. Let's see what happens.
86 days left in the first milestone.

 

You are right, my trigger point is social anxiety. Back in the past, Whenever something bad happened in the day then it was a binge session in the evening and it was the time of puberty. So, first I took a bad decison and then fueled it with porn and with time, my brain started to make me attempt those bad decisions in order to get a relapse. Now, I don't have that habit, I got rid of it by doing nofap but when I am on relapse cycles, all of it can suddenly come back.

Yes bro, emasculation plays a big role in the addiction.

I can relate to all the things you are saying. Self-improvement is the key in overcoming porn addiction.

Okay, I'll read it. How to win friends and influence people is the book that I am reading these days.

Thanks for the motivation brother..
How much time it take to left it all behind?

 

For me, Self improvement plays a important part in overcoming this. In the past there were more reasons for mastrubating to this shit as I believed in the whole female supremacy thing but after after I started to make nofap streaks the idea of female supremacy just got deleted from my mind. Now a days, not doing any self improvement or not following my daily routine is only one reason that can cause a relapse.

On relapse cycles, feet, thoughts, anything bad happened in day can be my trigger point but on nofap journeys, the only thing that causes relapse is social anxiety.

I was looking for a real life situation before nofap and that's what i am afraid of.

I don't have anything to lose so either I die or leave this femdom thing. This mindset brought me back to life.

Sometimes, when I talk with someone my mind doesn't know what to speak next, so I think this hurts my self esteem. After that, My voice starts getting slurry. Maybe this whole slurry thing must be a product of my mind but I don't have any idea where/what is the pain behind all this.

Influencing my bad habits. That's something I am trying for 1 year but all the bad habits come back when I relapse.

 

Yes, the first goal is to try intercourse without porn addiction. After that, I'll see the things that interests me and things that don't.

I don't have much interest in finding my life partner these days. First, I need to get rid of my pied so It's 40-50 days without thing about any girls. It would be great to spend some time with her (if I got a girlfriend) without the femdom thoughts coming to terrorize my mind.