feminization doujins and sissy porn

Hey just want to say you're not alone. I posted my current situation just last night. If you wanna find support I'm here fighting the same scumbag demon. FWIW I encourage first healing from the addiction before considering transition.

You're not alone!

 

A trans person found this thread and shared love that the author deserves. To anyone who's either transgender or thinking about their identity reading this thread or this forum, FWIW, follow the advice that resonates with you that is shared with love. Not someone who equates knowledge of gender diversity with porn. Gender diversity is something that humans share since the earliest cultures. We lost the way but we will find it again. Very few people understand gender, and most certainly those with a strict ideological view do not. With love for the self answers will be found.

Love

 

Intellectually, yes, all that is known about biology. However, understanding the lived experience of biology (gender) is still extremely limited. There is research on the subject but it is under attack from politically motivated sources. It can also be argued that social sciences are politically motivated, which they currently are. We as a species are not yet very good at social sciences, which is more of an argument to invest more effort to improve social sciences than to limit them, since we already do know the intrinsic value of social sciences, and they are needed now more than ever.

Third world countries as a population is not a good comparison sample due to on-going internal social catastrophes.

As a better comparison sample, aboriginal cultures do not have an issue with gender diversity because gender diversity is accepted as a part of nature, and social roles are not as queer as in the western society - queer as in twisted or crooked in this context. "Male" or "female" is no more natural (in the lived experience!) than "transgender". On the opposite, it is through this forced categorization and the following allegories that the societal norms get so crooked. This is not to take anything away from the biological understanding of gender; while this statement might appear mutually exclusive, it is in fact mutually inclusive. Why? Because the universe works in two polar opposites, as observed in the differences between quantum physics and the relativity theory.

I will also repeat something I wrote on my own thread: please acknowledge the limits of your own knowledge. In a single day I came across several hateful posts on the topic of gender diversity. This is not a safe forum for people who are truly transgender. Claiming it is is unfortunately not only false but worse, harmful.

 

THIS is VERY TRUE

...thank you for making this statement.

 

Even if, like me, you would be questioning your transgender experience at times, denying the lived gender experience of someone else is not doing anyone any good. I acknowledge this is a two-sided sword: we also need to be able to speak about trauma leading people to addictions such as s**** porn and even worse, s**** hypno.

The way up is love, for the self and for others.

 

Please talk with your family or close IRL friends you trust,you seem confused\dizzy about this. the content you describe you consume isnt a realistic depiction of any transgender issue at all,its just gross porn (doujins,hentai in general!). So, dont be confused...please reach out to a someone you trust.

 

Hi Lady Blahaj, I think you or the moderation team removed my post. Would you be able to give me some reasoning as to why it was removed? I had no intention of being transphobic.

In addition, I disagree with several of your sentiments. I believe gender is a spectrum, and there isn't necessary a binary in that one is "trans or not trans," especially when there is a sexual component (we don't need to label this either as "a fetish"). Rather it is up to OP to make their own choice after careful introspection and recovery from pornography use.

In this case, I think OP is doing a good job of not consuming typical pornography. However, the doujins (in my personal experience) activate very similar arousal pathways as sissy porn.
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@lost444, I think maintaining a distance from porn including the doujins for 3 months or so would be valuable. I think these are artificial stimuli that are hijacking your DA mesolimbic system to a similar extent as actual sissy porn (given the fantasy and visualization components of the content).

Evaluate how you feel at the 3 month mark. Don't have any expectations, and in my own success story I may have over-valued the "super straight" component as you put it. Autogynephilia is still very much a part of my sexuality, yet I've made the personal choice to engage more with reality and other people in place of feminization urges.

If you feel strongly uncomfortable with your body and gender at that point, I think you should go to a LGBTQ supportive therapist as Lady Blahaj encourages you to do. However, if you don't feel that way, well you avoided a drastic upheaval!

 

Lady Blåhaj, I'd like to add that when I use the term "autogynephilia" I am not referring to Blanchard's typology model of transgenderism. I recognize the failures of the model in addressing many trans people's life experiences.

Many of us in my generation use the word in a colloquial sense to mean an urge to "imagine oneself as a female." I would be happy to have a private conversation with you on the science of this phenomenon.

 

Not sure if this is an option for you but real life encounters are what really helped me understand my sexuality and gender identity.

I grew up in a community where there was virtually no trans and queer people, even very few gay people. When I started to get hooked on gay, trans, and sissy porn, I started getting all these thoughts, desires, and compulsions that were definitely not typical among straight, cis men. It was very hard to tell what I wanted and who I really was.

Contrary to what many on this site say, it was my exposure to queer people and communities that actually helped me realize that I actually was not like them. I started university at a very liberal school with a very visible queer population, and once I started to interact with gay, queer, and trans folk, it slowly became clear that I was not like them. While the thoughts and compulsions I had were not like straight cis men, they were also not like those of queer people, they were the thoughts of a porn addict.

I don't know what your situation is but if you can do anything similar I would highly recommend. Real life interaction is the key to solving a lot of issues related to porn abuse, and this facet is not an exception.

 

Wow, my posts were taken down as well. All of them, even the ones based entirely on encouragement and not related to transgenderism. The moderators here clearly follow simply strict rules but man oh man they do not execute the rules very well. All I did was express criticism, there was no hatred, threats, or anything that would make LGBT people feel unsafe. Because I would never threaten someone, especially on a site where we are supposed to support each other. The moderators of this site resemble moderators of Reddit, Facebook, or Discord where free speech isn't allowed. This is ironic given how much hatred there is out there for the NoFap community.

All I am saying is I disagree with the moderator's actions and feel they aren't following their own rules. Calling something hatred when it is definitely not shows that the moderators didn't even try to consider checking out the posts they were deleting. Especially when the rules state people can express opinions. I am not appealing to have my posts put back, I already know the answer is no and there will be no rational reason given. Heck, this post may or may not get taken down, and that will truly say something about this website if it does get taken down. However, no matter how far the NoFap website sinks I will always support the idea.

 

Look, hatred takes many forms. Even if your intent is to encourage - which you also did, kudos to you - you will ultimately always fail if you try to deny or dictate the identity of someone else. It does not work because you only know the identity of your own self, not that of others. Guidance is another thing, and even then, do acknowledge the limit of your knowledge of identity work and please be critical and reflective of the sources that you follow. If its resonant source is not love it will not give you answers for the questions you seek. Millions of people are failing to see false prophets for what they really are because it is very easy to not stop and reflect from a wider perspective. Please take responsibility for the consequences of your actions on others and not fall down the rabbit hole of self pity. It will do you no good! Self pity originates from the shame, emptiness and disconnection that we're all processing here. Let it sink down where it belongs, do not act on it.

I am positive that with the self reflection skills you demonstrate you will find more love.

 

Alright I get your point. I need to focus more on seeking to spread love rather than seeking to change other peoples minds. However, I really disagree with your point that concern/guidance = hatred. The whole "gender identity" trend will be hard for me to let go. And I've never denied or dictated the identity of anyone I've only affirmed what they truly are. No, I don't struggle to find love and the depression and anxiety I had have gone away with the process of NoFap. I shall not change my mind because my heart, mind, and gut are telling me otherwise. But I have to admit that people, particularly people confused by their gender on the internet, can feel hurt by any post that doesn't affirm their exact state of thinking. So for their sake, I'm gonna refrain from actually speaking my mind about non-related issues to masturbation addiction, that's not why I'm here.

 

As someone who was severely debating my own gender, all I would like to advocate for is that people with a gender identity crisis spend some time away from porn and live in reality. Places like Reddit can be an echo chamber that advocate for certain perspectives. There are subreddits that would encourage OP to transition and there are ones that would say the opposite.

If after a certain period of time that, from my limited knowledge, could be like 3-5 months, someone like the OP (or me) can reassess their feelings. If they feel that they are transgender, then they can embrace that without any misgivings. However, (I've said this before) if they don't feel extensive discomfort in them self, they avoided a major upheaval.

I'm open to criticisms from others on my framework.

 

I agree, it's a decision that shouldn't be made overnight and taken lightly. If one's "gender identity" is so important, then they would carefully approach the decision. If I was a boy who wanted to transition, I wouldn't ask Reddit or TikTok for advice. It's not so common with adults, but for people under 18 phases can come and go. I thought I was gay for like 1 week in 8th grade because my porn-addicted ass was looking at the dude during a video for some reason. What the heck. I was never gay, my brain was just messed up. A porn addict who is gay might confuse themselves too.

 

Please do not put words in the mouth of someone else and please observe the contradictions in the logic you use. I have bolded the words you put in my mouth and underline the sentence where you contradict yourself. I do not doubt that you have found love for yourself; however, I do doubt that there would not still be room for growth in the department of acknowledging the limits of your knowledge purely based on how you have decided to interpret my reply. I hope for you the best.

 

Alright man