Fetish and personality

What do you mean by this exactly? What "personality" does a cuckold have? Or any fetishist for that matter

 

You have high anxiety and you are constantly chasing high stimulation. & only the extreme "wrong" could offer high stimuli ( or at least what you perceive as wrong or taboo).

 

Actually, this is brilliant question. I asked this myself a couple of days ago when I was thinking about my old decadent lifestyle. What do those pretty extreme fetishes that I was into say about the person I am/ I was? Well, I have no good answer. I was just chasing new high and I allowed my value system to be overwritten.

 

So maybe all it says is that you were an addict to extreme porn

 

Only you can answer that. Do you feel inferior? Do you think you can change?

 

I don’t think it has anything to do with your personality if i’m honest, it’s just natural to get bored of one category and jump into the next. Obviously you’ll be into more extreme stuff after a while and develop certain fetishes you might have no interests in. For me i went from lesbian orgy, pregnant etc to full on hardcore fetishes like the 2girls1cup videos. All i’m saying is once my brain rewires itself i’ll be disgusted off my old self just like i’d be disgusted after i bust my nut.

 

I don't think there are genes pre designed to make you feel this way. Somewhere down the line you became convinced that you were inferior. You have to break this conditioning somehow. Unlearn this. And learn that you are worthy

 

My theory is that those fetishes are somehow things we are truly against IRL, but because it's shocking and taboo, we are aroused by it.
At least it's true for me. My fetishes are the absolute opposite of what I am.

 

It truly is a bit scary question though. I'm the nicest guy you'll ever meet and yet my sex stories were full of rape and stuff which would never be acceptable for me. In real life I would never ever get hard if these things came to be.
Based on the person who I am and the fetishes that I was into, luckily I see zero connection with my personality. I was probably really only the guy chasing new high.

 

No doubt there are exceptions but what you say sounds reasonable. Follows along the line of watching violent movies but not actually traveling those paths in life. Chasing the unreal.

 

No, it does not.

It is not your innate nature.

No.

The thing about porn is, it does "nothing" for you; what I mean by "nothing" is, that it doesn't add anything of value to your sense of self. It's not like you are proud when you watch porn and you pat yourself on the back and say "Damn, I watched porn. Look at what a guy I am. I am really proud of that", is it? Nobody does that, because everybody inherently knows it's cheap. Gettin the short term pleasure out of porn is cheap and easy. You know that. But nevertheless you continously do that (like addicts generally do). That conciously or unconciously shapes how you look at yourself. I mean, how could it be any other way?

Also, chances are you don't do anything else either, that allows you to be proud of who you are. But then how could you ever expect to tolerate yourself? How could you expect to have any self-respect? How could you expect to feel equal to other people? The thing I am trying to say is, you feel inferior because you probably are right now in a sense. That's the important part though: Right now. You have a decision to make: Either keep telling yourself that it's "your genes" or "your nature" or whatever, OR admit that you are just looking for excuses to not have to deal with the hardships, that come with trying to do something worthy or self-respect. I guess I am "accusing" you of trying to find the easy way out. And I get it man, I really do. I often deal with the same crappy thoughts and I feel pathetic and all that shit. I understand. But what are we gonna do about it? Waste away in self pitty and inferiority complexes? Does that really seem like a good solution?

I'm pretty certain, that once you get out of this rut and do something you personally find worthwhile, whatever it may be, you will feel less and less inferior to others. And chances are, your supposed "natural fetishes" will wither away with that. So, I guess to formulate this more simply: Do something difficult, that allows yourself to feel proud of who you are and what you do. That will over time give you a sense of self-respect. When you have that, you won't feel inferior to other anymore because you'll have no reason to. But right now, chances are you don't really do anything, that justifies feeling good about yourself, like so many other people. And I certainly include myself in that list.

 

Your sense of inferiority is just who you think are. Does it mean you are inferior? Not at all. But you perceive yourself to be inferior. A number of people are harsh self-critics, myself included. I think the other porn you view is a side effect - i.e., don't feel good about yourself so you view these things OR you just simply are a porn addict and have escalated. None of this is reality. In an OCD book I have, it says "we are not our thoughts" so this thought of inferiority will pass. You need to build yourself up to be the strong man you are. Remember, your genetics survived thousands of years of evolution to bring you here. So will you.

 

Great post. I couldn't agree more.

 

A little bit yeah. Reveals underlying emotions, your childhood or life circumstances made you vulnerable to the porn induced fetishes. But that doesn't mean you're a sick person.

It's kinda like how when you're alone you might listen to Katy Perry, but with your boys you're throwing on Lil Baby or something. Everyone does weird shit when you're alone and when no one's around your brain has no boundaries. Building relationships with girls will fix this.