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Fetish recovery: vanilla pics/porn instead of noFap?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by enjoyvanillaagain, Oct 7, 2017.

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  1. Oct 7, 2017 #1
    enjoyvanillaagain

    enjoyvanillaagain Fapstronaut

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    Hallo community,

    Porn is not my problem, fetish is.
    Over the years (9) of fetish (almost no watching porn, mostly reading & fantasizing about it) I trained my brain completely away from the visual and tactile stimulus of a female body to get an erection. By reading & thinking about my fetishes (forbidden actions that can kill me or ruin my life) I get hard instantly.

    NoFap for several weeks toned down my fetish fantasies, but my brain doesnt connect seeing or touching a naked woman to 'boner'. Also safe sex is not connected to bloodflow into my penis.
    I managed to have sex with woman only with viag, thinking about my fetishes and without condom. Its difficult to focus on sick fetish fantasies while having vanilla sex with a girl, so it never goes smoothly.
    I want to just look at her body and get at least half a boner from that. (The women I'm in bed with are crazy hot sometimes...still nothing happens. Also nude pics or videos of naked girls dont do anything to my penis)

    Considering neural plasticity, to connect visual stimulus to erection again here are my ideas:
    1. everytime I get horny I look at a "vanilla" nude picture
    2. watching "vanilla" Point-of-view porn
    - both options either with or without jerking off
    3. edging to vanilla stuff (this one might be a bit drastic)

    Thanks so much in advance!
     
    enjoyvanillaagain, Oct 7, 2017
    enjoyvanillaagain, Oct 7, 2017
    #1
    Thomas1987 and Tonytone like this.
  2. Oct 7, 2017 #2
    Tonytone

    Tonytone Fapstronaut

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    I'm assuming you've got some form of porn (fetish) induced ED. Has this been happening for a long time? How long did you PMO for? You've gotta STOP EVERYTHING now!! And whatever you do, don't EDGE!!! It's the constant flow of dopamine to your brain which got you to this point in the first place. Minimum, 90 days hard-mode for you, brother!! Start reading through these forums and look at YBOP (yourbrainonporn.com). So much information!!! The best of luck to you.
     
    Tonytone, Oct 7, 2017
    Tonytone, Oct 7, 2017
    #2
  3. Oct 7, 2017 #3
    Thomas1987

    Thomas1987 Fapstronaut

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    I used to attend fetish parties. Then I got banned from the fetish scene. It was about a year later that I eventually saw an addiction counselor and attended SLAA.

    I've been a few different kinds of addict over the years, and I've done 3 residential rehabs. Sex addiction is the last addiction I would want back.

    I have my own theories about how people (typically) become addicts, and specifically how sex addiction develops (as well as fetish/deviant behaviours). I have found that sex addicts typically come from covertly dysfunctional families, while alcoholics tend to come from overtly dysfunctional families. Anyway... to move away from fetishism and sex addiction, I have found Buddhist meditation courses to be the most effective treatment. I did my first 10 days of silence with the Goenka Vipassana group in 2013.
     
    Thomas1987, Oct 7, 2017
    Thomas1987, Oct 7, 2017
    #3
    ps234 likes this.
  4. Oct 7, 2017 #4
    enjoyvanillaagain

    enjoyvanillaagain Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your answers! I'm doing periods of nofap for about a year now.
    Porn however was never really my problem.
    It all started by having my "first time" with 15 in a high pressure situation, in which i couldnt get a boner.
    Since then, the idea of Sex became more of a problem than a pleasure. However, cheating fantasies took the pressure from it, because I was not supposed to have succesfull sex with a stranger girl while i have a gf. This turned into much more severe stuff. I dont watch porn. I only jerked off to my sick fantasies. I can watch porn without the need to jerk off easily.
    I only get hard however when i read things like that many prostitutes in my region have aids, or when a girl texts me she wants to destroy my relationship (i tell girls i text with that i would have a gf - i actually havent).
    But naked woman dont do anything for me. So maybe i should start look at naked woman when I'm horny. To make this connection. (Yes I'm hetero btw)
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2017
    enjoyvanillaagain, Oct 7, 2017
    enjoyvanillaagain, Oct 7, 2017
    #4
  5. Oct 7, 2017 #5
    Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

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    I think the first thing you should do is stop having sex with people under these conditions. It's not fair to them, your using them in a very dehumanizing and demeaning way.

    Secondly, you should do a full hard mode reboot for as long as it takes to complete wipe out all those neural pathways. It might take a while, but I'm guessing its the only way you'll ever have a healthy sexual relationship.
     
    Spiff, Oct 7, 2017
    Spiff, Oct 7, 2017
    #5
  6. Oct 8, 2017 #6
    enjoyvanillaagain

    enjoyvanillaagain Fapstronaut

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    Well, its not like the women dont enjoy the sex. They dont know whats going on in my twisted mind. The only alternative is not having sex at all.

    Quitting porn is no problem for me, but turning off those thoughts is super hard.
     
    enjoyvanillaagain, Oct 8, 2017
    enjoyvanillaagain, Oct 8, 2017
    #6

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