Fetishes getting out of hand

Gayspiritwarrior

Gayspiritwarrior

Fapstronaut
Hi all, I’m a gay guy in my 30s and I’m hoping to get a handle on my addiction to fetish porn. Vanilla porn does not interest me at all, I basically get off on anything which is degrading and disgusting. I’ve always been interested in piss and watersports ever since I was a teenager, but over the past few years that has started to becoming boring for me and I’ve started to develop a fetish for scat.

This scares me, because it’s something I said I would never do. It makes me feel so disgusting after I cum, and it keeps me awake at night thinking about how the same me just a few hours earlier was wanking off over that stuff. But I return to it. I see thumbnails for some videos on some sites which are really extreme and I think to myself maybe that’ll be me in a few years. I’m worried about where it will lead to continually indulge in this fetish. I’ve never actually done it in real life, but I wonder if it is only a matter of time.

I cannot share this with anyone, least of all the people I am closest to and especially my partner. Scat seems so taboo even on the gay fetish scene. I’m hoping that a PM commitment on this site will help me get this under control and also feel less alone.
 
That is some fringe stuff, dude. I don't even know how to approach that subject. But, the thing is, you want to get away from it and break the addiction. And a no PM commitment is definitely the way to begin. Make damn sure you get rid of all your triggers, whatever they may be. Make the decision to see this through and stand tough. Do what you can to rediscover romance and intimacy with your partner; an actual real person in your life. You'll make it through, and we're all here with you! Take care and soldier on!
 
Jag45 said:
That is some fringe stuff, dude. I don't even know how to approach that subject. But, the thing is, you want to get away from it and break the addiction. And a no PM commitment is definitely the way to begin. Make damn sure you get rid of all your triggers, whatever they may be. Make the decision to see this through and stand tough. Do what you can to rediscover romance and intimacy with your partner; an actual real person in your life. You'll make it through, and we're all here with you! Take care and soldier on!
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Thanks for the encouragement, that means a lot
 
This hardship your describe of only being able to get off to scat has become a "normal" problem for many porn users because of the way porn desensitizes the brain. This process of desensitization is essentially how watching the same porn over and over again numbs the dopamine receptors in the brain, which makes you go into harder and harder genres. EVERY porn user goes through this, even in the smallest of ways. Think about it like this - there's a reason why nobody just every watches the same porn clip they're whole life; it just doesn't feel good anymore. Another way to see the desensitization process of porn is how nobody ever watches a porn video start to finish, but skips through, focusing on the body parts, scenarios, and positions they like. Excessive porn usage causes excessive porn boredom, leading one to cross the line of "safe porn" into more and more soul-damning material. Shock value and anxiety pump even more dopamine in the brain, which is why users actually go to that stuff in the first place. It has nothing to do with sexual tastes and latent desires, nothing with "repressed sexuality" or "fetishes that represent the real you" or other bullshit porn supporters say. It has everything to do with boredom, addition, thrill-seeking, and plain bad luck frankly. You went and found scat porn, while others found transwoman, incest, etc. As weird as it sounds, desensitization is a "natural" part of porn addiction. Any user who uses porn long enough, will cross that red line of "safe porn".

But don't lose hope! The desensitization process can be overcome. The key essentially is to just stop porn; DO NOT CUT DOWN! I know it sounds like a good idea, but cutting down will actually further push you down the dark side of porn, because it unintentionally reinforce the "pleasure" of porn. I am saying this not just from online readings, but my own experience. My most darkest porn experiences, that which makes me feel less than human, that which truly makes me think its better that I live the rest of my life as a reclusive hermit, to cut off contact with everyone, to just leave God and be dammed forever, came after trying to cut down. As time goes on, these messed up "tastes" will diminish. The porn neurons will unravel, healing the mind, to the point that the slightest though of your past dark porn obsessions cause you less to become horny and more disgusted, embarrassed, and even scared (at least that's how I felt). As time continues, even random thoughts don't do anything more than just annoy you (again, that's just how I felt).

Additional note - do not pay any attention to thoughts that might be plaguing your mind in regards to how you damaged yourself, what this says about me, how messed up you are, the random flashbacks of scat porn, etc, as they do not reflect or define you in anyways. I know how frustrating this can be to hear this, as it is damned hard to ignore them, as if it was an easy task, but trust me, you must learn to forgive and move past. I recommend mindfulness meditation to make peace with your mind. The Headspace app has a free trial and really helped me get started, but there's also tons of guided videos out there.

Last and final note --> your addiction to scat porn DOES NOT IN ANY WAY define you sexually. It is not an accurate depiction of your sexuality, says nothing about you. All it says is that you messed up and found a side of porn in a bad moment.
 
The best way to deal with fetishes is cutting the evil by the leg in someway, through this journey you'll find many tempting urges but if your will to quit is bigger you'll get it, the more you feel love towards people instead of lust the less impact fetishes have on you. God bless you bro, you can do it!
 
Your brain is definitely messed up and conditioned to think this is normal. Also you dont care or realize the severity of what youre watching because your brain is too numb.

Stop it now before its too late.

Let your brain resensitize and youll see how crazy this actually is. Youre too numb so you want to act out and think you wont feel anything cause youre in a numbed state but if you do act out you will pay the price regardless if you realize it yet or not. Reality always catches up.

Once you wake up from this porn fantasy world and see reality again you will be scared that you even considered this at one point

Stop it before its too late
 
Turn up your concious. Porn numbs your concious.

You brain will think "oh yeah thats so hot go back and watch it"

Thats all bs. Its not hot. Youre brainwashed and a slave to porn. Stop watching porn and youll see what im talking about
 
Wow, thanks all, the message is clear and I know what I've got to do. You're all right, of course. I have actually 'got over' another fetish fantasy I had when I was a teenager (thanks, nifty!) once I had a lightbulb moment of clarity and just cut it out completely.
 
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