Fighting the demons

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Love Salvation, May 15, 2018.

  1. Love Salvation

    Love Salvation Fapstronaut

    Hi im 22 yr old male ,
    ive struggled with P since about 12
    ive struggled with M since about 7
    ive had a pretty rough life of abadonment
    and abuse
    when i was 3 yrs old my grandpa raped me (only came to the knowledge this year being 22 )
    and when i was 5yrs old my sister would abuse me and force herself onto me (Her being one year older i still dont fathom this ) When i was 7 my parents spilt up and i stayed with my dad for a bit then went into foster care (from 7-18) where i had bad encounters with other people who had the same abuse (trying to make this easier for people reading not to be to descript ) thats lead me to severing my mind spiritually so it doesnt work like normal , i havent a hard remembering yesterday or staying focused on things due to my concious my fuzzed and my sub concious working over time making me very sub conciously smart haha .
    Ive been doing healing on my brokeness the past 6 months and its lead to many deep layers of myself exposed making pm not easy, im right now staying in a homeless shelter (not too bad bunk beds and clean place for up to 30days ) trying to continue seeking rhe Lord Jesus and work on healing so i can live a proper life and Love without hindances . PM being one of them. Anyways i may update this over time but this is a quick story for now
    -Congrats to all the fighters out there keep it up
    Roady likes this.
  2. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

    Welcome! I'm glad you're here.

    I'm so sorry for the horrific experiences you described. There are professionals who might be able to help you; I hope you can find that help. I hope you keep coming back here.
    Roady likes this.
  3. Love Salvation

    Love Salvation Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the encouragment !
    I needed somewhere to let this out.
    Professional help actually didnt help much , ive done my own work with Holy spirit leading me . Bring things up forgiving those people and renoucing bitterness etc and ive been able to work more and have more energy and many other such improvements . Professionals are trained in nothing that has helped me . i taught one therapist i had (very good one cost $110/hr ) however even she wasnt as helpful. After im healed i want to help people thru the healing process like myself and help them . Im on day 2 i think due to this weekend ive never felt so lonely since childhood (a good sign for healing but hard as ever )
  4. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    welcome again here on nofap.
    I'm glad to hear you already found insights, letting yourself guided by the Holy Spirit.
    With Him every (!) wound can be cured and healed.
    With Him all the pain can be faced, no matter how deep it goes.

    I've gone through a lot of pain myself, I described my stuff in my own journal.
    Maybe it can help you, give you direction or encouragement!
    God bless you, keep seeking Him with all your heart!

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