Fighting with SSA/Gay mentality/HOCD

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by lifeinhell, Feb 26, 2019.

Which describes you best?

  1. I struggle with huge SSA but I am totally (or want to be) into women.

  2. I struggle with mild SSA but I am totally (or want to be) into women.

  3. I think it's HOCD

  4. I am comfortable with Homo fantasies (but will die before acting)

  5. Cross my heart that I am full straight.

  6. These are all B.s., I am gay and happy with it.

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. Joe92

    Joe92 Fapstronaut

    I've learned that the best way to figure out what your unique sexual orientation is, is staying away from porn for a long period of time. Sometimes, fantasies are just fantasies and psychologists now that a lot of straight male may have some gay fantasies sometimes, or at least curiosity. And, last but not least, learning to be tolerant about every sexual orientation. A lot of HOCD sufferers are not homophobic but come from very homophobic backgrounds (family, environment...). That what gives a lot of power to the anxiety, even if being gay or whatever is nothing wrong.

    And nobody here can tell another what his sexual orientation is. Be tolerant and accepting about everything that doesn't hurt anybody, cure your addiction and self-confidence issues and you will find yourself.
  2. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut


    Ok, got the point.
  3. Beachcomber

    Beachcomber Fapstronaut

    Great point, thanks man. I’m gay in that I’m only capable of having a primary committed relationship with a guy (this is the “real” definition of being gay). However, I’ve had beautiful & amazing sex with several women, fully enjoying it. But overall I much prefer sex with guys.

    I can enjoy straight porn, but gay porn is my preference.

    Therefore, in this line of reasoning, one might try to argue that either one or both types of P could be making me like something I’m not naturally predisposed to liking. I guess they’d REALLY think I’m fucked!
    Deleted Account and MrUndo like this.
  4. MrUndo

    MrUndo Fapstronaut

    The important thing is that you know what your truth is and what you truly want! There’s no need to be anxious or nervous about your sexuality. Some people are so obsessed. It is what it is!
  5. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    I think what happens a lot is that straight guys get hooked on trans or gay or any porn that they aren't really attracted to, and then when they get off it, they harbor all these negative feelings towards the individuals and ideas in the porn. I am in a group of guys recovering from sissy porn (feminization, forced bi/gay, demasculization, etc), and I see lot of posts and comments about disrespecting women, dissing our sex-based culture, bi and gay rights (and even existence), and really any type of sexuality that wasn't a straight male penetrating a woman. I understand why these guys feel this way; their lives have been diverted and they've lost out on so many of the joys and thrills of life. When they see porn is the problem, the individuals and ideas seen in the porn become the enemy. For straight guys hooked on gay porn, gays are evil; for guys hooked on sissy porn, liberals, chads, and trans people or evil. It isn't right to hate any group, but it's valuable for other members to understand why people feel this way. I've grown up in a pretty accepting area so I'm cool with any type of sexuality and have been able to see how my attitudes on sexuality and gender played into my addiction.

    Also, and this may sound shitty, but if people are on this site and think their desires have been warped by porn, I would guess that they have an escalating porn addiction. Telling guys "hey you might be gay" or "hey you might be trans" is affirming in their minds the idea put in there by porn. No joke, through my sissy porn addiction, I 100% knew I was bi/gay, and 98% sure I needed gender affirming surgery; after a 90 day reboot, where I know I'm a straight man, I can't believe those thoughts were in my head. You need to accept different sexualities, especially when overcoming addiction to a particular fetish. Doing a reboot helps your mind clear of these thoughts, and then when you try having sexual relations with someone, if it clicks then you're good.
  6. Beachcomber

    Beachcomber Fapstronaut

    Hey, @modernstore99, your insight into this is right-on. Thank you.

    I’d like to recommend the books by Alice Miller, a renowned psychologist noted for her books on parental child abuse as it’s been supported & even encouraged in countless ways by societies all over the world for thousands of years.

    Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society's Betrayal of the Child

    The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Revised Edition

    The Truth Will Set You Free: Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self

    These books & her many others will open your eyes to the many truths about ourselves in the context of our upbringing & the forces that shaped us, our attitudes & beliefs about the world & sexuality, especially our own.

    Here’s a toast to personal growth & stopping the insanity of perpetuating unhealthy & destructive beliefs & practices simply for the sake of doing what’s been done in the past. Here is a giant “heads up”.
    Deleted Account and Joe92 like this.
  7. viking007

    viking007 Fapstronaut

    Over masturbation and porn addiction cause ED. Continued fapping escalates to paid sex and escort addiction. Escort addiction and ED are a deadly combination as they even increase your chances of contracting incurable STIs. ED also causes you to watch shemale/gay porn even if you've always been straight. Long story short it's really difficult to quit fapping after all this.
    Deleted Account likes this.

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