Finally 30 day

Blackwhite

Fapstronaut
Hello friends, first of all, I would like to thank this forum. I thank Alexander Rhodes for establishing such a community and for initiating the pioneering of such a beautiful situation. First of all, I want to say that do not expect any benefit before 30 days.

Do not think of the slightest benefit. Of course you will see small benefits. But put the perception in your mind that you will not be able to do any good for 30 days. I have spent the last 6 years to achieve this success. Of course, there was this hell before, I was in this hell for maybe 20 years. My story is actually similar to everyone else's.

The psychological problems I experienced were intense anxiety, depression, OCD, social phobia, concentration problems, memory problems, panic attacks, and depersonalization. I hated myself. I thought I was extremely ugly. Most importantly, my self-confidence was always very low. I was too mediocre to have a conversation between two people. I had very rapid emotional transitions. My mood was very unstable. I've been dealing with these problems for years. I was at a level where I could no longer even chat with my male friends, let alone communicate with girls. My face constantly looked sullen, hard and angry. My skin was dull, even though I had white skin, my face was black. I was constantly having problems communicating with people. I couldn't establish healthy communication. I was constantly confused and had a chronic headache all the time. It was like I had two brains in my body and I was thinking about what I was thinking. I was indecisive and afraid. I was extremely bad at learning new things. In short, my life was a complete hell. I've always been a coward when talking to girls. I had lovers but I always felt weird. I didn't feel anything for them. In general, I felt nothing but fear. I was very bad at empathy. My awareness was extremely poor.


Today is my 30th day, thank God. I've dreamed of this day for 6 years. I finally made it. My biggest source of motivation on this path was that I liked a girl. If you are in intense PMO, your chances of actually liking a girl are very low. If you are not only in liking but also in intense PMO, you cannot fully experience emotions such as excitement, love, joy and sadness. Pmo numbs your feelings. You have difficulty expressing yourself. You cannot speak fluently. You cannot put two words together. People think you're an idiot. No matter how painful, PMO makes a person stupid. People don't respect you. You lose your ability to joke. You cannot be happy in environments where everyone is happy, laughing and having fun. Because your emotions and your brain are numb.

These were the bad situations that came to my mind. 1-4. Between days I felt extremely bad. 4-7. I felt fine between days. From day 7 to day 28, I felt terrible. It was literally hell. However, since I completely cut out sugar and its derivatives during this period, there were no emotional fluctuations. Because when a person feels both good and bad, the situation becomes very difficult. I was losing faith in the process. Because I stopped PMO addiction and prevented the release of dopamine from sugar and its derivatives, and during this time, I felt bad all the time, not good or bad. I avoided the dopamine surge. So I spent the same standard just feeling bad. This helped more. I did not replace PMO addiction with addiction to sugar and its derivatives. During this process, I felt more attractive on my 22nd day. I felt an increase in my self-confidence. I started talking to a girl I liked very much. But this was a friendly conversation. Afterwards, I invited the girl to a cafe. This girl told me that she couldn't come for a valid reason. After today I felt even worse. I lost faith in the process. But I didn't disrupt the process.

On the 29th day, I felt my self-confidence increase a little more. When I got rejected from the girl, the 7 days went much worse, it was absolute hell. I cried so hard about 9-10 times during the process. After a long time, I started to cry, but I cried too much. After the 29th day, the feelings I felt for the girl overcame my self-confidence. I started to love myself more.

I started to like my appearance in the mirror. Other people's opinions and someone rejecting me, other people's opinions about me lost their importance. I found my own thoughts, my own ideas, my own experiences, and what I thought were more valuable than them. It may seem ridiculous to you, but I didn't lose that girl, that girl lost me. I started to feel valuable within myself. The way I express myself has improved a lot in the last two days. I started speaking much more fluently and logically. People started to listen to me more.

My facial expression became calmer and more stable. People started to contact me more easily. Because I started to look warmer and more attractive. After the 14th day, I wasn't feeling very well, but I received many compliments from those around me. You may find it exaggerated, you may find it a placebo, no matter what you think, I now have a calm mind and a stable, happy mood. The most important thing is that I started to love myself. My self-confidence started to rise. My chronic headache has stopped. Music feels more meaningful and beautiful. My facial skin has lightened a few shades. The spots have decreased. I now have a more masculine and attractive facial appearance. Now, even if I suffer for this girl, that pain doesn't seem to affect me badly. Even the pain I feel seems sweet. I think the reason I didn't feel this way was because I started to love myself. When I was in pain before, I thought the girl thought I was ugly. When I thought like that, I was in a lot of pain. But now I don't think I'm ugly. I love myself. Not everyone has to like or like everyone else. I know that in the coming days, someone will love me and I will love them too. Because before anyone can love you, you have to love yourself. Believe me, when you start loving yourself, this life full of pain becomes a little bearable. Go ahead and get out of this hell. Today is my actual birthday, I started living from today. I still have a little bit of social phobia. He will get better in the coming days. I apologize for my English. I used the translation. English is not my native language.

If anyone has any questions, I'm here to answer them. I wish success to everyone. You are all good-hearted, strong people.
 
Make sure to stay active here and help support others. Too often people leave the recovery groups and forums, but when new people join, they need to see people having success.
 
well said and great message . You are like exactly like me . I am also having all the issues you say . i am also 20 years addicted and trying for 6 years . but only 24 is my highest ever and now i am on day 3 though.
 
ben de dp'den acı çekiyorum ve bunların bir araya gelmesiyle oluşan kaygıdan dolayı iyileşmenin imkansız olduğunu hissediyorum. Gerçekten dp'den iyileştin mi?

When I pass 30 days, all my psychological problems disappear without smoking or PMO. However, even if I continue to smoke, this causes some problems. So just quitting pmo doesn't really work for me. Smoking and PMO should both be quit
 
I can relate to all of the problems porn addiction brought you. It's very motivating reading just how much your life turned around. I've been struggling for a very long time and reading your story makes me want to reach those 30 days.
 
Well sometimes some things is relevant to destiny. Maybe your destiny is with someone else. Don't beat yourself up for that. You and i and all of us will get throughout this hell together. Tank you brother.
 
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