Finally a start..again

I had been into porn addiction since 20 years now and I used to watch porn and do the in-process stuff to make me sleep at night. This has been my story from last 20 years. I tried multipe times to stop watching porn, the most I could see is a month without it and there it came back. I workout too, hence no one could realize from the exterior but i know the fatigue and the lost energy I feel.

Now its has been 4 days for me without any sexual visual and still counting. I get glimpses of the porn or porn like videos I have seen and its very hard to stop myself on this.

I am trying to change my life and live without the need of Masturbation, any suggestions.

 

I think I used to watch because of the feeling post masturbation.

 

I used to feel sleepy..infact i used to masturbate and sleep when i used to get triggers like some intimate scene or some revealing scene in a movie.
So, I used to feel contented when I used to masturbate even though from the very next moment I used to curse myself for doing it and workout and try activities like walking, jogging to cope up with it.

I had sexual incidences but sometimes I used to masturbate even about thinking what I did. I had some revealing pics from my previous relations , which I used to watch again and again while masturbating hence l, I deleted them. I am whole messed up.

I used to miss my morning activities like matches, classes just because I used to masturbate late at night and I used to make myself think that I need to sleep more to recoup for the lost energy.

 

Nothing worked , i tried to workout ao hard that my biceps would ache but still that urge remained. Even these four days of my NO FAPPING, I had urges.

 

Even though its once or twice a day(sometimes) I feel I am losing on my muscle growth plus I am losing as a person.

 

If I would be in a relationship, I would masturbate If i didn't had sex before going to bed. Even times, it was like I had sex in the afternoon or evening and I masturbated at night.
I am not in a relationship now.

 

I am not aware what is it that is acting as a trigger for me there