Finally acted out with a Shemale.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Brohime, May 13, 2019.

  1. Brohime

    Brohime Fapstronaut

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    Once upon a time I was straight as a whistle. No issues. Over the years my porn addiction has increased to the point of tranny porn almost exclusively and gay porn a lot of the time. I don't even watch mainstream porn anymore. Does nothing for me. Anyway, I have been anally masturbating for about a month now with a dildo I got and finally just said fuck it and responded to an online ad for a tranny escort. I couldnt even control the urge. Even though I was scared as hell taking the subway to this person's apartment I still went through with it.

    The thing is that most of these threads I read are about men topping tranny escorts, but that is not what I wanted.
    I sucked her dick and swallowed her hot cum and then let her fuck my ass.
    It felt liberating, but after it was over and she was trying to cuddle me is when the shame and "WTF" feeling kicked in. I can't tell you how many bottles of Scope I have drank in the last week.

    Has anyone else gone this far??? What happened to me.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 13, 2019
  2. zuzu123

    zuzu123 Fapstronaut

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    WTF man? Are you serious. Just quit the porn man and see after what will happen with u. Although I rather have u jerk off and get by senses after than letting ur ass get fucked by a tranny. Whenever you get the thought just tell urself this is a sick thought warped from the reality. "Say to urself this is not what a man does and I am a man". Seek psychological help please.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Brohime

    Brohime Fapstronaut

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    Dude I appreciate the tough love but I have been reading threads for weeks and most people seem supportive. I'm married too so it is a tougher situation than you may think. Even though I felt like shit after I am still surfing tranny ads and am feeling compelled to do it again......
     
  4. zuzu123

    zuzu123 Fapstronaut

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    Well I am in a relation with the woman of my dreams. Everytime I got a sick thought I think of her. I feel it is cheating and doing it is definitely. I love her more than I want to give those thoughts practise. Do so too...you dont want to lose ur wife or do you...?
     
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  5. Brohime

    Brohime Fapstronaut

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    Want and Desire are two very different things Zuzu.
     
  6. zuzu123

    zuzu123 Fapstronaut

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    It is should be the same unless the thing that u desire got warped by external factors or internal conflicts. I dont think any healthy man who desires to be with a woman wants to get fucked by a shemale. Porn addiction warped ur mind..I find it hard to believe that anyone with a healthy mind wants that.
     
  7. Welcome to the community.
    It looks like escalation got carried away into reality. What are your plans?
     
    Brooklyn Jerry69 likes this.
  8. Brohime

    Brohime Fapstronaut

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    Well right now my plans involve potentially doing it again with a hotter shemale. I'm fantasizing about doing it raw without a condom to feel her cum in me. I don't know whether I can go through with that part but heat of the moment I guess. Other than that I havent thought much about it which is why I am here. I know I am messed up.
     
  9. And what do you want your life to be?
    I am thinking since you are here you must be looking for a change in the direction things are going.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  10. Brohime

    Brohime Fapstronaut

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    Heard about this place and read a lot. Seems shemale fantasies and sex are common place among a lot of guys.
     
  11. AnxietyDude

    AnxietyDude Fapstronaut

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    OP, its not worth it, I am still struggling but am miles away from where I once was.
    I nearly destroyed my Marriage, and myself. I am back at zero days but I do not hate myself like I used to.
    But this road leads to pain not salvation, you have no idea that it can get worse....the thing about our Demons
    some times they call up a friend to help join in our pain escalation.

    And alcoholic doesn't become one by drinking one beer, it is done so by repeated and escalated abuse.
    Walk away why you still can. There is a dark road ahead, I know I drove down it.
     
    Hero:HOPE and (deleted member) like this.
  12. It does happen to quite a few and is usually brought on by escalation in porn. Your mind keeps looks for the next more exciting thing because viewing the usual got boring and it needed to increase that hit.
     
  13. This reminded me 2 years back before I found this site, I was watching shemale P... its a way many go, when going deep deep down this rabbit hole...

    :(

    Luckily, something stopped me. And I went hard mode all of sudden. Dunnow why. What was the trigger. Maybe curiosity. Maybe a challenge. Maybe a higher force.

    I cant imagine where would I be now, If I did not stop back than.

    Maybe drinking some tranny cum getting my ass fucked. Feeling suicidal.

    ;/
     
    CH3RRY and AnxietyDude like this.
  14. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    What do you think about this situation? Do you feel comfortable with it? Do you want this in your future life? You can accept any kind of behavior, but the question is if this will make your life better.
     
    AnxietyDude likes this.
  15. CLAW619

    CLAW619 Fapstronaut

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    I like tranny, bestiality, mostly straight porn; all cultivated with time. Years ago I was into being with prostitutes. The possibility of contracting AIDS scarred me away from that. Dedication to my marriage keeps me from the hookers. Now I need to ratchet that dedication up to stopping porn.
    If I was on my own, who knows. I might be the hunter loose on the streets looking for that big sexual fix.
    This is like an evil spell. How low do you want to go my friend? We must free ourselves because the course leads to utter ruin. At that point, the best we can hope for is to escape with our lives.
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2019
  16. tom1990

    tom1990 New Fapstronaut

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    This concerns me too as someone that got into shemale and then sissy porn. I actually matched with a trans girl for the first time on a dating site yesterday and I'm left feeling preeeetty confused......

    I sympathise bro - greatly.
     
    Lot Yanisin and AnxietyDude like this.
  17. AnxietyDude

    AnxietyDude Fapstronaut

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    Best one can do is redirect ones self..... watching at home takes no effort and is why we are all trapped, but going out there is time to say no.

    I have in laws that are pack or two a day smokers. They have to drive 30 minutes into town to buy them.
    They have time to say no, but do not. Hope you make it. ITS NOT WORTH IT>

     
    Hero:HOPE likes this.
  18. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    the real issue here is:
    - you have to cheat on your wife,
    - you dont see what is wrong with prostitution by itself.

    now, no one here is going to support your escort adventure regardless if its a woman or a trans.
    cheating and going to escorts is enough of an issue itself. if you want to stop it, its time to make decision, enough fooling around. decision means:
    1. stop touching yourself and stop hiring escorts/cheating, first and foremost.
    2. stop scavanging for porn and prostitutes, its stronger than you and will lead you back to breaking rule (1)
    3. be clear with yourself, what is your motivation to do nofap? always remember the motivation and goal you imagine to have. without clear motivation, you will easily go back to breaking rule (2) and from there immideatly breaking rule (1).
    so, there's no need to lecture you too much, the bottom line is about breaking a habit of addiction, and then see how to sort the issues with your marrige life.
     
  19. Habbapop

    Habbapop Fapstronaut

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    Bro, you are brave to open up !!
    I havn't taken a dick in my ass, but i have sucked some and i know the feeling off shame when i have busted and i done with the "session"

    There is a way out off that hell hole, No PMO and fight the urges with whatever it takes !
     
  20. Sovereign Soul

    Sovereign Soul Fapstronaut

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    Dude, you've hit rock bottom.
    Use this as a call to get yourself back to reality right away.
    Only porn can make what was once a probably well adjusted STRAIGHT person willingly end up swallowing a stranger's semen.
    Snap out of it. Meditate, lift weights, take cold showers, look at yourself in the mirror daily and tell yourself you're a Man ffs.
    You can recover from this and make it a very distant memory.
     

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