weedandmetal
New Fapstronaut
I have been addicted to porn since I was a kid. I started my journey with nofap in 2019, at the age of 21. it was really hard at times. I scored about 200 relapses. I had a very wide variety of streaks. I went through failures, downfalls. Sometimes I was on the straight and narrow. Sometimes I lost my will completely and thought about suicide. Sometimes I thought I would never get over my addiction. But I never gave up. Each time I did the same thing, I restarted the timer and counted each day again and regretted losing my streak. Time slowly passed and I kept fighting. Porn had destroyed my psyche. For it I was ready to drop everything when the desire came. I came up with all sorts of techniques to fight the porn, but they all proved ineffective in the end. On the one hand I really wanted to get away from it, and on the other I was suddenly destroying everything. Porn was destroying all the tools I had acquired to fight it. It was infiltrating me, I was like an ivy-covered person, inside. A slave. Porn was befriending me, sitting next to me when I was struggling and telling me it loved me. It tried to convince me that it would be with me forever and would break me every time it wanted to. I really didn't know what to do anymore, all I had was another try. Another, another, another, another, it was never ending. Even when I thought I was already on the straight and never going back to it, I was failing miserably. It was killing me. However, time has shown that all this was not in vain. The longer I practiced nofap, the further I moved away from porn. Today I look at porn as something very distant that has absolutely nothing to do with me. I am free. Over the course of a year I masturbated maybe 3-4 times, and I completely disliked it. It wasn't the same anymore. A lot has changed in my life, I have become a better person for myself and others. Today, if I like a woman, I respect her. I have everything that I had in my childhood. I am myself again. I am not afraid of anything. I fell in love with a girl, but seriously, like never before. I don't want to have sex with her or kiss her if she doesn't want it. I just want to be around her. I want her to feel comfortable. I want us to get to know each other better and better. I hope that someday a relationship will come out of this. I used to be completely different, incomplete. I didn't know that the kind of life I have now even existed. I am the way I always wanted to be. I want to cry because this is amazing, like a gift. I am so happy. I am crying right now with happiness. Today is the day. The day I declare victory, stop counting the days and continue my journey forever without porn. I would like to thank everyone individually for helping me, if it wasn't for this whole movement I would be lost forever. I wish everyone to succeed like I did.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm not crying, you are