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Finally had real sex after ED problems because of Porn.

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by LiftHeavy, Jan 1, 2018.

  1. LiftHeavy

    LiftHeavy Fapstronaut

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    I want to share this unique story to motivate others. I've had real sex once when i was 17 years old, being mildy drunk. A one night stand.

    EVERY SINGLE ATTEMPT FROM 19-21 has been a total failure, due to ED in bed. Like many others, my fetishes grew very insane, but had no idea that porn was the problem till i turned 19. Still i miserably failed. It may sound like i had a bunch of attempt, but it was just three. The first one was a girl i was dating, and i had ED in bed with her when i was 19. The same year, i found a girl i really grew a good tone with. by the end of the year actually. We talked for a long time before she took the long trip to stay over for 5 days. I had ED all the 5 days, and i truley felt like shit. I don't want to go over to details how she acted and was, but let's just say that there was nothing more between us after that.

    When she left, i was really deppressed, and suprised over this. (I still didn't know porn was the problem for my ED at this point, even though i had heard of nofap). I tried to fap when she left, and i had my life's biggest erection, and the sickest dopamine rush of all time. At that point, i understood that porn was the problem. So i did a bit of research, and also got it confirmed. Back to nofap agin.

    But i ended up relapsing, relapsing, relapsing.... Relapsing... And my confidence was just non existent anymore. Even though i'am a pretty decent looking guy, and heavily into weightlifting, i was the biggest form of beta male you could possibly imagine. Nobody knew how insecure i actually was, but i was just good at hiding it. I actually started AVOIDING seeing girls. Even when the chances was there. There had been serveral times where the sex part has been an opportunity for me, but i made excuses to not go in bed with those particular females. I was scared for my life for the ED, and i didn't want it to repeat. I was trapped in the porn.

    2 years forward, and i've lived with depression, social anxiety and insecureness.
    Then i meet this very beautifull woman at the gym. We eventually started talking, and dating. After a long period of dating, we eventually began to get a true tone. We had alot of common interests, and we met to train with eachother many days in the week.

    Agin, keep in mind that alot of details is taken out, so that might be why the story sound a bit too "easy" and wierd.

    Now fast forward to the fun part. She decided she wanted to stay over for a night, and i got scared for my life, but had to say okay. She came over, we watched a movie, and cuddeled alot. My head was filled with anxiety, stress and fear. We spooned for a bit, and she could feel me get a little bit hard, and when she told me to take my pants off, i took it off out of pure embaressment, because i had no excuse not to. So i did, and my 30% erection, went to almost 10%. Agin, not going into details in this part either because of some of the rulels i've read, so let's just say when she tried to arous me, nothing worked. I had to give stupid excuses like "It's too hot, i really can't get it up when it's this fucking hot in here". (Jesus christ what a stupid excuse). Nothing happened that night, and she went home the morning after. LUCKELY, she is such an amazing woman whitch actually had alot of respect for me, just like i had for her. We obviously love eachother. We saw eachother occasionally after that, without staying over for nights.

    NOOOW, ladies and gentlemen. She wanted to stay over the 25th of December 2017, whitch is just a slight above a week ago. The plan was done the 12th, and i was fucking desperate. I totally stopped watching pornography and fapping for those 13 days, hoping to god to have an erection. The day had come, and she went over. We ate some food, watched a movie at the sofa, and she began to get aroused. I said we can't do anything here, we'll have to go to my bedroom. So we went there, clothes off, trying to arouse eachother, but i FAILED. My excuses was horrible, and it ended up with a little cuddling agin, with dissapointment. And here is what happened next. Before i proceed, many people will belive this was something bad to do, but this REALLY worked. And if anyone else has ED problems because of porn, try this method once, even though it sounds crazy. I started fantazising about my porn fetishes, with a calm state of mind, whitch eventually gave me a pretty good erection. She noticed it as i was laying behind her, and she took my "thing" and slowley lead the way to her underpart. It went in. Still at this point, i strongly had to fantasize abit, and it became harder and harder. Now i thrusted, and we had sex, finally. And i realized how good sex actually felt. I had just felt that once in my life, not even being sober. After 2-3 minutes, i didn't have to fantasize anymore. It simply felt amazing, and i did it all with love. I was so happy, and my confident just bursted up in the skies. She was impressed, and pretty satsified. We literally had sex for three hours that day. And NOW we have had sex 5 times at 5 different days, every since the 25th-1th january 2018. NONE of the times have i fantasized about my fetishes and porn, except of those 2-3 minutes from the first session. All i really needed was to get that erection, and BREAK that state of mind that i can't get a hard on in bed, and actually FEEL how good sex really is. Because you obviously need the erection to feel it.
    Now porn doesn't even arouse me. Nofap goes without a single urge, i just want her, and i feel the actual love while having sex with her. And my problem now is that i have premature ejaculation, whitch literally is that i don't ejaculate while having sex with her, and i have a fucking hard on the whole session, till she can't take it anymore. But this is BLESSING for me, as funny as it sounds, and that problem also goes away when abstaining from porn and fapping for a goood while.

    Now i hope someone who suffers from ED through real sex, tries out this method. That small little part should be the only time you should use what broke you down for your own advantage. Fantasize about whatever porn that arouses you, try to get hard, and it doesn't have to be fully erected. Just get enough to be able to put it in, and it will harden more when you feel how good it is.

    This is my sucess story. Stay the FUCK away from porn guys, it ruins your brain. Some people think it's jus superpowers and testosterone, but it goes much deeper than that. I'm done with it, i learned the hard way, and i had to fix it the hard way aswell. So if you suffer from ED, abstain from PMO, try to get in bed with someone after atleast two weeks, just to fill your balls up, and get atleast A LITTLE BIT dopamine stabilization in your head, even though 2 weeks barley is anything. When you're in bed, and you get ED, then this time should be the only time you're allowed to close your eyes, and get a strong image of whatever disgusting fantasy that arouses you, just to manage to get it up, and break you out from the ED prison by putting it in, and finally feel for yourself that real sex feels a million times better than whatever trash you used to watch, and i used to watch while jerking off.
     
    Hamil, Charlie V., d00r and 11 others like this.
  2. 2018 pls

    2018 pls Fapstronaut

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    This post was so good I had to create an account on this forums to reply. I can relate to your situation in so many ways its unreal, this was extremely motivating great job bud wishing you all the best for the future
     
    d00r, noonoon and LiftHeavy like this.
  3. I am really happy for you mate, i had a similar issue in my early 20s. and you are to right nothing compares to the real thing. Thanks for sharing your success.
     
    d00r, noonoon and LiftHeavy like this.
  4. LiftHeavy

    LiftHeavy Fapstronaut

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    Highly appreciating your kind words, never felt so happy in my life. Big acheivment, and we're all gonna make it! Good luck to you aswell brother
     
  5. Goalachieverr

    Goalachieverr Fapstronaut

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    Well done bro, remember one thing. You are not there yet, there will come many triggers and urges. So stay focused. Either I wanna tell you never forget where you came from. You can understand other people better because you have been through this. Goodluck amigo.
     
    LiftHeavy likes this.
  6. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    Dude, I'm very sorry to disappoint you, but I find your "method" to be a part of the problem. You basically had sex with your own fantasy instead of being intimate with this girl. This is what I (and many others here) try to avoid as much as possible.

    I understand, of course, that this was the only non-failing option you've had at that moment, but suggesting using porn fantasies to fight your porn-induced ED is akin to suggesting drinking more poison to deal with your poisoning. Essentially, this is what alcoholics do when they have a hang-over: drink more substance which caused a hand-over. Truly a suicidal way of thinking.
     
  7. Amazing story man.

    I'm glad you made all that progress.

    Keep it up, and may the fap never be with you
     
    LiftHeavy likes this.
  8. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    This method can be good at first, when you don't want to fail in sex. I can understand that. But it's only the starting point.
     
  9. SanityOverVanity

    SanityOverVanity Fapstronaut

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    So the success here is that you managed to have sex while thinking about porn?

    I'm feeling many emotions of contempt right now but I'll try not to be too judgemental or condescending.

    Firstly, what you have is *delayed* ejaculation NOT premature. Guess what that means? You still got a whole lotta healing to do, up there and definitely down there.

    Secondly, you're not the first person to use this method and you won't be the last. I've done it, got momentary pleasure then later felt like shit. Sure, right now you're able to get it up and enjoy your girl but that porn door ain't fully closed. Especially if for whatever reason in the next few days, weeks, months you can't get hard again and revert to this spectacular method.

    You're contradicting yourself big time. Partly saying porn helped you get it up for sex but at the same time it rots and destroys our brains.

    You wanna heal naturally and guilt free? Come clean with your woman, plain and simple. If she's as amazing as you say she'll understand and support you. If she doesn't then move on dude. You're young, seem in shape (judging by your avatar), loads of time and potential left for you to exploit and better yourself. My biggest suggestion is to do 90 days hardmode. Tried and tested for healing your "performance" issues.

    Oddest part about this thread was the people actually congratulating you for this. Guys, anyone genuinely believe this to be some kind of bonafide *success*? Because if anything it angered me. Do better man, we're here to uplift each other not direct one another off a cliff.
     
    LilD likes this.
  10. 2018 pls

    2018 pls Fapstronaut

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    Eh, I see it as he used it as a tool because after years of fapping and desensitization he needed more stimulus than normal to perform in this situation. He then explains he realises that after he was hard he forgets about it, he is focused in the present moment and can appreciate a woman for conventional sex. Which we all should. Porn took this away from us. I believe he broke a mental barrier by using this method. (correct me if im wrong OP). But I can slightly agree of course yes, this is not ideal situation to get hard and everyone has more healing to do. "After 2-3 minutes, i didn't have to fantasize anymore. It simply felt amazing, and i did it all with love. I was so happy, and my confident just bursted up in the skies. " can't knock this guy though. seeing someone recover like that is amazing.

    Yes bro! We're all gunna make it,
    the grass is definetly greener on the other side, also less foggier and has alot more clarity! Yea bro! I'm genuinely happy for you :D maybe one day I will break through these barriers too :)


    This is definetly a success. Imagining these things aren't ideal, but taking small steps will result in a large step in the future for this young man. He also says he does not use these fantasies to now stimulate him.


    Naw man, its a success, sure, room for improvement. However, definetly a success none the less please read his quote. at the bottom of my post

    His quote:
    "have had sex 5 times at 5 different days, every since the 25th-1th january 2018. NONE of the times have i fantasized about my fetishes and porn, except of those 2-3 minutes from the first session. All i really needed was to get that erection, and BREAK that state of mind that i can't get a hard on in bed, and actually FEEL how good sex really is. Because you obviously need the erection to feel it."

    I wish him all the best
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2018
    d00r and noonoon like this.
  11. Happy for you! Keep it up, dude! I dug this story of hope.
     
    LiftHeavy likes this.
  12. SanityOverVanity

    SanityOverVanity Fapstronaut

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    Y'all have some twisted idea of what a successful fight against PMO is. Bizarre.
     
  13. VietelJuice

    VietelJuice Fapstronaut

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    Proud of you dude. Porn definitely screws the brain up but even after giving it up for more than 5 years I still had problems because I hadn't broken the cycle as I was still MOing. Good luck keeping off the porn and try break the PMO cycle as best you can. Also, high 5!
     
    d00r, LiftHeavy and 2018 pls like this.
  14. LiftHeavy

    LiftHeavy Fapstronaut

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    As i said in my story, the only time i used imagination was those 2-3 minutes the first session. Now i don't ever use any porn imagination during sex with her, not ONE single. Only she turns me on, and i feel great only doing it with her, while seeing her, and sense only her. Nothing else. I might forgot to mention a very important thing in my story aswell, whitch is that porn was not 100% of the reason that i got ED. But it was heaaaaaavily pshycological, because i was so nervous and afriad to not get it up, so i basically didn't get it up, because of all that negative stress hormones was released during the session being stressed.

    I still don't regret what i did, because like i mention now for the third time, it was only those 2-3 minutes. I just needed that erection to actually be confident, and REALIZE that i'm able to have real sex. So now i atleast got rid of the nervous and stress part. Like you and the other guy said, i still have alot to go. I'm not done with the recovery, but i'm atleast hella motivated because of this acheivment, and i don't regret it at all. Thanks for the feedback!
     
    d00r, noonoon and LilD like this.
  15. LiftHeavy

    LiftHeavy Fapstronaut

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    As i said in my story, the only time i used imagination was those 2-3 minutes the first session. Now i don't ever use any porn imagination during sex with her, not ONE single. Only she turns me on, and i feel great only doing it with her, while seeing her, and sense only her. Nothing else. I might forgot to mention a very important thing in my story aswell, whitch is that porn was not 100% of the reason that i got ED. But it was heaaaaaavily pshycological, because i was so nervous and afriad to not get it up, so i basically didn't get it up, because of all that negative stress hormones was released during the session being stressed.

    I still don't regret what i did, because like i mention now for the third time, it was only those 2-3 minutes. I just needed that erection to actually be confident, and REALIZE that i'm able to have real sex. So now i atleast got rid of the nervous and stress part. Like you and the other guy said, i still have alot to go. I'm not done with the recovery, but i'm atleast hella motivated because of this acheivment, and i don't regret it at all. Thanks for the feedback!
     
  16. LiftHeavy

    LiftHeavy Fapstronaut

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    As i said in my story, the only time i used imagination was those 2-3 minutes the first session. Now i don't ever use any porn imagination during sex with her, not ONE single. Only she turns me on, and i feel great only doing it with her, while seeing her, and sense only her. Nothing else. I might forgot to mention a very important thing in my story aswell, whitch is that porn was not 100% of the reason that i got ED. But it was heaaaaaavily pshycological, because i was so nervous and afriad to not get it up, so i basically didn't get it up, because of all that negative stress hormones was released during the session being stressed.

    I still don't regret what i did, because like i mention now for the third time, it was only those 2-3 minutes. I just needed that erection to actually be confident, and REALIZE that i'm able to have real sex. So now i atleast got rid of the nervous and stress part. Like you and the other guy said, i still have alot to go. I'm not done with the recovery, but i'm atleast hella motivated because of this acheivment, and i don't regret it at all. I'm 100% clear about the fact that i still have recovery to do, and i won't stop nofap at all. But atleast i can have sex now, without imagination. This wont be temporarly, this will be permament, because i'm done with porn now.
    Thanks for the feedback!
     
  17. LiftHeavy

    LiftHeavy Fapstronaut

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    You seem to understand me well man! Thank you for quoting the parts i wrote whitch some of them obviously didn't register while reading, or probably didn't read at all. It was more than just porn. It was heavily psychological, due to me being very nervous to not get it up. All i needed was that boost to get it up, and now i'm free from the problem! :)

    I will still quit porn for good
     
    2018 pls likes this.
  18. d00r

    d00r Fapstronaut

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    Dude, this is such a nice and motivating succes story. There is no such thing as one single correct way to cure PMO addiction or PIED, so whatever works for you is great. That being said, I think the 90(+) day no PMO reboot is the best for most. PIED and performance anxiety goes very much hand in hand. It's like a vicious circle that must be broken. And in your case, fantazising about porn for a few minutes did exactly that. I'm stunned that someone could actually get upset by this.

    As a medical doctor I talk to and treat a lot of patients with different kinds og addictions, like smoking and morfin use. There are different kinds og approaches you can take, depending on the nature of the addiction, the severity and the patient. I can tell you that abrupt cessation of the substance or habit is not always the right one.
     
    LiftHeavy likes this.
  19. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    Just to be clear, I was upset because he recommended that "method" inconsiderately, while clearly such advice can be misused by someone who doesn't really understand what PIED is. This part:
    It's cool that it helped him and didn't turn into a porn substitute, but he definitely should be careful advising using porn fantasies for dealing with PIED, even as a temporary method.

    I've seen enough people who "quit smoking" by switching to vape, or "quit alcohol" by switching to drugs, and shit like that. People often mistake switching addictions for remissions. I'm not saying this particular story is one of those, but I'm saying it can lead some people astray.
     
    SanityOverVanity likes this.
  20. jesusson

    jesusson Fapstronaut

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    Don't rely on this thing you call it 'Method' , brother I can't say what you are doing is the right thing , I know that was your last option , but stop thinking this way because it will lead to more problems later . No more porn , No more Fetishes , let your brain heal by Avoiding those stuff and give your brain time to heal then start a relation based on Real intimacy with Love and care.
     
    SanityOverVanity likes this.

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