Finally Here...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Spaceman2000, Jul 4, 2019.

  1. Spaceman2000

    Spaceman2000 Fapstronaut

    Hey Guys,

    It's taken many years of trying to quit and being aware of this community, but now I am ready to be an active participant and hopefully meet some cool people with a shared experience.

    My big thing is DE with girls, I've had it since the very first time I had sex and always knew deep down it was because of PM. I'm ok when they use hands and mouths but intercourse requires serious concentration and fantasising, which of course isn't really a shared or particularly pleasant experience for her.

    I have just started seeing a new girl and the first time we had sex I couldn't make it happen, which is weird because it was actually real lovemaking and not just sex. It made me realise that all I've ever done is just think of it as sex and now I can finally practice it as making love and there's still DE, I want to change that.

    I'm happy to give myself a pass for the first time because we both had a lot of fun, she finished and she actually made me feel sexy. She went away for a week and I held off M thinking I was going to explode with her, but same again and in the end just had to finish myself off while she was holding my balls. I just felt so defeated and could see it on her face too. It's not a dealbreaker and I can see us staying together for a while, but it just felt that now was the right time to finally cut the cord with P and for this reboot M.

    I should also say that a) I'm just tapering off from being on Effexor since last September, which obviously makes it a lot harder and also I was wearing condoms which are a real barrier for me. So again trying not to be too hard on myself. I also have a rare congenital condition which affects my body and causes limited movement in my legs, as well as some unpleasant looking scarring, muscle wastage and disfigurement from previous operations. So I also have to battle with that every time I meet a new girl. But deep down I know that my PM is the main factor. I have never been an addict in terms of hours lost away to it, my problem has always been tolerance build up and going to more extreme places, further losing touch with the reality of real life partners, and I'm choosing to finally stop it now at the way overdue age of 37.

    I feel super motivated to complete an initial no PM 90-day challenge though I'm a little concerned about how it's going to work with O still on the cards with this girl. I have managed to give up P for about 2-3 months before but never tried M, so this will be new.

    I hope to meet some of you guys in the various threads and am particularly interested in meeting those who are affected by DE, so we can potentially be accountability partners and group members.

    Probably gone on too much now, but it's been nice to write this all out.

    Peace and good vibes to all.

    kaylee time and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button |Day Counter | Rebooting Resources |Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
    kaylee time likes this.
  3. kaylee time

    kaylee time Fapstronaut

    I think its super helpful to sit down and write out your thought process. A lot of times you realize things you never knew about yourself when you see it in your own words. I think its most important to remember that just because you arent getting to the O as easily as you would by yourself, it isnt because you dont find your partner attractive enough, or love them enough. And super important to communicate that. Be as open as possible about what physically works for you in the bedroom. I think we kind of spend many many years getting there on your own a particular way, and suddenly we start doing the deed with someone, and its fun and amazing, but its just different. That doesnt mean that sex is any less enjoyable. Theres always toys and hands and etc that can be used to help you get there. And its a lot easier mentally if your partner is aware of the fact that they can still be an active part of getting there, you will just go about it differently instead of both feeling defeated. Im a female and its hard to O during regular PIV, so afterwards we continue on to other adventures. Just be honest with what works for you and dont beat yourself up for not being able to O as quickly, it happens to more people than you think, but not a lot of people admit it.
    Spaceman2000 likes this.
  4. Hey & Welcome to NoFap Community! :)

    You are in the right place for recovery here. We are so glad to have you with us to beat this addiction together.

    You can go read some Success Stories in the "Success Stories" section to learn more about the benefits of NoFap , get useful tips and ideas to help you in the reboot.

    If you have any question about rebooting, you can ask it in the "Rebooting" section.

    And I would recommend you to make your own journal in the "Reboot logs" corresponding to your gender & age to track your everyday progress.
    You can also join challenges in the "Events & Challenges" section, to keep yourself motivated and focused.

    You may start by checking the links below:
    Learn more about Rebooting.
    Forum Usage Guide.
    List of Rebooting Ressources.
    Glossary of terms used in NoFap community.

    Best of luck to you in your journey!

    -The Winner
    kaylee time likes this.
  5. Spaceman2000

    Spaceman2000 Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the kind words Kaylee... Appreciate it.
    kaylee time likes this.

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