Finally lost my virginity at 21 years old

Hey there, I can finally say that after 3,5 years of NoFap I lost my virginity.
It's not that I have a streak of 3 years prior to losing my virginity. My current NO PMO streak is 85 days and my no P streak is 146 days. I just know about NoFap for 3,5 years
Only thing I have to conquer now is the DE.
Btw this can be quite a graphic story, I will add some **spoiler** tags!

I'm going to tell you how I tackled my PMO addiction and lost my virginity at 21 years old.
My English is alright I think, but not great and I am not good at writing stories. But I hope it's an interesting one.
I knew I had PIED late 2018/begin 2019. I couldn't get hard with girls when I kissed them in the club. Happened like 3 times with 3 different girls. At first I blamed the alcohol, but after the 3rd time I thought: 'Maybe it's something else'. So that is when I quite quickly came across NoFap.
Of course I thought that I would be a fast rebooter because I was young and that I wouldn't go back to porn ever. FUCK NO. Relapsing is in such a small corner. I had so many streaks. 30, 60, 90, 120 etc. 180 days even. But every time I kept relapsing. I think what helps from relapsing is to be in love or at least have a crush on someone. That gave me absolutely so much motivation to keep going. The 180 days streak I had a crush on a girl and the other 90 day streaks I also had a crush on another girl. Sad thing is, when you get rejected, you almost automatically give up on the streak and turn to P to cope with your broken heart. DON'T GIVE UP. I wish I could tell myself that, because every time you relapse, you get the chaser effect and you know what happens after that, after that all your progress is gone in my eyes.

So fast forward to my last No P and No PMO streak. One year ago I met an amazing girl, and she became my best friend, we live nearby each other, both in student houses and we also share some mutual friends. But around februari 2022 something changed. I noticed that I got feelings for her. I wasn't on a streak that time and started the streak the 15th of March. I wanted to at least have a streak of at least 60 days (but preferably more) before I asked her out on a date.

(Somehow I lost focus 60 days in the No PMO streak and masturbated 2 times in 1 week, so that's why I have a No P and no PMO streak. SOOO STUPID AND UNNECESSARY)

So 2 months later around mid May I asked her out, I was on day 7 of my new No PMO streak. We talked a lot in the past 2 months and I noticed that she started to like me too. She came over to my place and we drank some wine in the garden. Afterwards we moved to the bedroom and watched a movie.

Spoiler: Graphic

I got like a semi and asked her if she wanted to take her clothes off. We did and kissed some more. However now my dick didn't go up again.

I told her straight away that it didn't get hard. She was okay with it and said that sex on the first date is a no go anyway.

So a week later I went to hers, I bought a 'natural' erection pill on the market that you can buy without a prescription from your GP. I got quite erect, however not hard enough for penetration. She said she didn't mind and that she wouldn't even mind if it didn't work for the next 10 times or so, because she loves me.
We tried again a week later with again the help of a natural erection pill. This time I got pretty hard, but she was not wet (yet).

Spoiler: Graphic

She usually gets extremely wet when I finger her, but without foreplay she isn't wet immediately.

My dick just didn't get in. Of course I gave up really fast and we just left it at that.

(By the way she is not a virgin anymore, she had a couple of sexual encounters before me)

Around the beginning of July I went to my GP and I told him everything. He hadn't heard of PIED or NoFap and thought it was just PA. He prescribed me 6 pills of sildenafil though. The sildenafil worked like a little, but every time I was with her, I was so afraid that it wasn't hard enough that I didn't even try anymore (severe PA) (even though thinking about it now I probably was hard enough for penetration). I took sildenafil 3 times, and 2 times it worked, 1 time it didn't work at all. After my visit to the GP I told HER everything, just everything NoFap, the process, the flatline etc. And she was so understanding. (I would advise everyone this)

We didn't try to have sex for 2 months,

Spoiler: Graphic

sometimes I would only finger her till she came and we just left it at that.

We saw each other so much, she practically became my girlfriend without me asking her officially (I still have to do that). That is when yesterday happened. We came home and I took another 'natural' erection booster, because those things actually increase your libido too, sildenafil only helps with getting an erection not your libido. The difference I noticed in libido is that I liked kissing more with a natural pill. They are fully legal by the way where I am from, they are made of herbs. Some big companies that also sell a lot of other stuff sell them.

We were in bed, we were kissing and I noticed that I was pretty hard. I still had to ask her if she wanted to try to have sex and I was so so afraid, my heart was going like crazy. But I said: 'We can try now' and she immediately understood.

Spoiler: Graphic

We took off our clothes and I stayed erect. She lay next to me and I asked her to go on top of me. She did and she put my penis to her vagina.

And it went in. I was so fucking delighted.

Spoiler: Graphic

She started to grind on me, it was nice,

but it wasn't as amazing as I expected (due to DE). (Oh well I guess that goes away too eventually by just sticking to NoFap)
I couldn't stay hard and my D eventually fell out.

Spoiler: Graphic

I asked her to jerk me off, she did. It felt already better but I felt I was losing my erection after a while too. I took it in my own hands, and masturbated while we were kissing and I came for the first time again in 85 days.

The next morning we took a shower together.

Spoiler: Graphic

We kissed, I got hard again and I asked her to turn around. We had sex again in doggy style,

it felt already nicer than the day before but it still wasn't enough. I didn't come and she was still so fine with it and said it didn't matter. She was already happy that we did have intercourse. That afternoon we went from her parents house to her own place.

Spoiler: Graphic

I wanted to go home, but she kept kissing me. I got hard again, I still wanted to go, but she just kept kissing me,

I think she wanted me to go try again, that eventually I thought: 'fuck it'. I took off my clothes again and she lay down on her bed.

Spoiler: Graphic

We had sex again, this time in missionary.

It already felt better, but still I couldn't come. She doesn't mind and sees this as progress. And I think it is progress too.

(This was all today btw)

I know the erection pills are kind of cheating, but I think that it also helps me rewiring if I can have sex. Kissing alone is not enough in my eyes, some guys go more than 6 months No PMO and still can't get hard. I believe that having sex enhances your libido and rewiring process. It also helps with the PA, even though that even took me a while.

I hope you enjoyed my story. I'm never going back to porn. I have no chaser effect at all after finishing myself off yesterday. I btw had no desire to watch P or any kind of artificial stimuli since I started my No P streak, also due to flatline probably.
Now I still have DE, but I believe I can overcome this too within a few months, she also knows that this can take a while. Gonna keep you guys updated. Tips to cure DE are much appreciated!

Good luck to anyone overcoming this horrible addiction and everything that comes with it

Yours sincerely,

 

Shit, I was already afraid that it would be too graphic. Gonna add some spoiler tags right away.

 

PA was correct, DE = Delayed Ejaculation