So I had to take a break for a while, but I'm back..to rant a little. Apparently, a super helpful friend advised WS that I've been micromanaging his recovery...aaaand because WS is an addict, he jumped all over that. He loves to have ammunition to throw at me during arguments. I just want to scream a little. Ya know, because I'm still here. He picked millions of women over me, he mentally abused me, he made me feel worthless, he had an emotional affair with my sister the entirety of our relationship, and, overall, wasn't a good husband. I'm still here. No, I am not a martyr. I was going to leave. I gave him another chance to change. He took it, and has ran with it. Yes, he has messed up, and has made a bunch of mistakes, but he's still progressing. So, I'm still here. I'm just a little frustrated. You see, because WS has been an addict for a long time, he's not been super reliable, creative, self sufficient, hasn't been a great problem solver, ect. He asked me for help. He didn't know where to start. He didn't know how to proceed. When he hit a rut, he couldn't get un-stuck alone. At every turn, he was asking for help. Let me be clear. I have not been the only one who has helped him. He has received help, advice, comforting, bolstering, and tough love, from a variety of sources. Now that recovery is getting uncomfortable again, I'm to blame. I'm there too much. I'm being too helpful. I'm smothering him with care. I just fucking love him too much. I guess I should have left him alone. I should have ignored him. I should have told him to do it himself, that I didn't want any part of it. I should have kicked him out of our bedroom, our house. I should have made him feel invisible. You're right. I've been micro-managing everything. I'll just take a massive step back. That's what good wives do.