FINALLY my first 30 days after a long struggle!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Deleted Account, Jul 15, 2017.

  1. Hey guys!

    I finally got to 30 days for my first time ever! I wanna keep this brief(but knowing myself this is gonna be long..xD) Edit: Yep...this got really long. xD
    Soo I got here after my last longest streak which was 22 days and then I relapsed many times over, not taking this very seriously...
    But after I found my real WHY, I could do this!

    I always was and still am a rather shy guy....
    I graduated school in June and then I realized something. How did I feel? Happy? Relieved I finally did school? Free?
    No. I felt empty. I didn't give a s*** about it. I did'nt care. I noticed I could'nt enjoy my own work I've done 13 years of my life. A big stone should've fallen from me.
    This emptiness made me realize: "How do I want to enjoy anything in life?"
    Meeting with my friends? Feels empty. Accomplished something? Feels empty.
    Sometimes had things with girls but didn't work out. Why? I think because I really didn't feel anything for them.
    Porn just 100% numbed my emotions.
    So then I've decided this can't go on any longer.

    The benefits?
    • definitely more self confidence!
    • enjoying the little things in life more! (taking a walk, nature,...etc.)
    • not objectifying women in my mind anymore (at least it's VERY rare now.)
    • Depression feels gone! -> I felt empty after my relapse at 22 days.
    • feeling free!
    • more energy for my important things
    • more active in living for myself, my own life
    • talking more to people!
    • loving myself more for who I am!
    • forgiving myself more!
    And now ..
    1. I've done my morning ritual for 23 days now.
    • wake up
    • make my bed
    • drink a cup of water
    • Write in my journal answering these questions:
    • "How did I sleep?"
    • "How do I feel right now?"
    • "What did I dream about?"
    • "What is my plan for today?"
    2. I've drunk over 2L everyday for 22 days now.
    3. And did my Evening ritual for 12 days now.
    • One hour before sleep turn off all electronical devices
    • write in my journal again
    • "How was my day?"
    • "Do I have any thoughts/emotions.. about the day? " like "the day was shitty/ good ...because...."
    • "What could I've done better? (self-reflection)
    • "What have I done correctly today?" (Even the littlest of things like: waking up, went outside, talked with one person outside, ...etc.)
    and here I noticed I can easily write 20 things per day I've done right even if I think I was lazy one day and that made me feel better about myself instantly. Before, I thought I couldn't do anything right and I just beat myself up mentally for that. Now I know I always do SOMETHING right, it just took everything for granted before.
    • brush my teeth
    • go to sleep
    I definitely feel like I'm doing the things I want now and feel so much
    Riding my bike feels more liberating than porn now. I've learned to love myself more, forgive myself more, to not beat myself up anymore over the littlest of mistake and trying to improve myself (even it's just a little bit) everyday.

    Now I often go the library and read so much more than one year ago. (Like I hated reading for some reason.) But it feels so good learning new things.
    Now I'm learning Japanese for example.

    The thing is, this happened because I did something for myself. Hadn't I've done something on my streak, I would've probably relapsed.
    The days don't really matter if you don't improve yourself as a person.
    Last year I couldn't even imagined feeling this good!
    Last year was the worst for me because the depression was the strongest then.
    So I got HELP. I literally went to a health department, to a youth welfare office and several places for psychologists to get ANY help.
    Now I've a supervisor who gets me out like twice a week and helps me live my life properly. We ride bike, we go to new places for me, we cook together,.....all those thigs feel awesome now!
    And every Wednesday I go to my therapist and can just talk my heart off and it REALLY helps. I've learned so much about myself in this one year (even when I hadn't gone 30 days of NoFap yet, so this is not ALL because of NoFap.) and I can actually say right now:

    I love my life and myself and if I do mistakes it's fine because I'm just a goddamn human like everyone else and I don't have to compare myself with others. That's b***sh*. Everyone is unique in their own way.

    One year ago these kind of thoughts would've been IMPOSSIBLE to think for me.

    So... the main thing I want to say is:
    Do something for yourself on your streak. Or in general in life. Change is NOT gonna knock at your door. YOU have to make the steps if you want to feel better. YOU have your life in hands. It's YOUR responsibility to make somthing out of it. If you do nothing, NOTHING will come out of your life. The days aren't THAT important. The things YOU DO on those days are important.
    In ONE year I changed my ENTIRE life, the way I look at myself, the way I do things, the way I think now....

    (And I feel like for my age (I'm 18).. I'm quite wise for my age...:D)

    In short: Do something.
  2. Cafax Xafac

    Cafax Xafac Fapstronaut

    I too was on day 30. But i relapsed couple of moments ago :(
    the_undisputed_87 likes this.
  3. I'm sorry for you Cafax but I hope you don't give up!
    The Rezistor likes this.
  4. jest

    jest Fapstronaut

    @NewBornDragon, amazing and inspiring (I'm also vaguely learning some japanese, nice name btw)!
  5. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    The Rezistor and Deleted Account like this.
  6. Thanks! Have fun learning it! I really like dragons and I feel born newborn now... So I think it fits :D

    The Rezistor, jest and I Free I like this.

    LEPAGE Fapstronaut

    Congratulations. I hope to be able to say the same in 30 days. Keep it going!
  8. Yes I certainly agree you are very 'wise' for your age. You have been through a lot and this has allowed you to develop into a fully fledged adult man. You have so much so much life left in you. 18 is super young as you will find out as you get older haha. Have you thought about what you would like to do with your life i.e career wise? Once again congratulations, it's amazing to hear such success stories from such young people :)
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. Connor21

    Connor21 Fapstronaut

    That's good stuff! Let's keep it going to 90!
    Deleted Account and The Rezistor like this.
  10. male!

    male! Fapstronaut

    seeing your thumbnail i thought you are a compatriot , but having read your post i realized that you are not since so many ppl helping you, where I live just don't have nearly as much help as you were showered, I guess I am left with my own devices, anyway god help these who help themselves, and this community is just like a godsent treasure to me
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. :) What a nicely structured post!
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. Calm down.
  13. male!

    male! Fapstronaut

    the withdrawal just fluctuate my mood so much, I was so melancholy sentimental just now, I guess it is a healing process
  14. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

    great success story. honestly written, unless a lot of other stories on here. keep it up mate!!
    Deleted Account likes this.
  15. Thanks!

    Thank you so much! And I kinda want to do something with computers, like computer science. But I don't REALLY sure about that yet.

    Thanks! I hope I get to 90!
    Thanks lol! (Are you Chinese?xD)

    Thank you too Rezistor!

    And thanks to you too! I'm just honest...that just how I am...xD
    Deleted Account likes this.
  16. the_undisputed_87

    the_undisputed_87 Fapstronaut

    Stand up and build yourself again. It's never too late, brother.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. the_undisputed_87

    the_undisputed_87 Fapstronaut

    mashaAllah brother ... May Allah bless you and the others in this group. Keep it up, 30 is just the beginning of a PMO free life ;)
    Deleted Account likes this.
  18. Thanks!
  19. LEPAGE

    LEPAGE Fapstronaut

    Man, here we are almost three months later and I am nowhere near 30 days. Longest I have gone is 15. Having a real hard time getting started again.
    Noelle likes this.
  20. Well, three months later and I'm at almost a week so it's hard for me to start again too...

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