Ok well i finally told my wife after years of not saying anything but i couldn’t take it anymore and keeping it. In secret was just allowing me to relapse without real pressure and made me continue with my actions thinking i could do it alone. So she flipped out. Most likely hates me. Doesnt want a relationship with me at all. Now shes trying to help me as much as she could but its hard because of her feelings of betrayal and not wanting to hear too much about this issue. I went to see a therapist, he said he can be my sponser. Which is great, He’s easy to talk to. I also been listening to a podcast. That said its just not enough sometimes to have a therapist you can speak to sometimes.. or a GF or wife who cant take or understand everything that you say so its not the safest route. He has a group you can join, but it costs, of course. So i started my own now, had one before but no one was really dedicated. So this one is on an app,thats not porrelated.. with documents on info, as well as recovery steps and tools, group chat, voice call meetings, check in tasks, milestones ect.. we all create a recovery plan which i heard about from the porn free recovery plan that never fails... i feel alot of ppl are just white knuckling . (Trying to avoid porn until a relapse) instead of actually retraining the brain to kill the urges and fight the addiction. Its a process that took place in the brain when we got addicted, theres a process to retain it back. And if anyone’s at their rock bottom like me, losing my family and sanity, and is at their lost end and willing to really commit to beating this together then just hit me up. Lets work, lets get clean.