Finding a way

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Bemore Simms, Mar 6, 2018.

  1. Bemore Simms

    Bemore Simms New Fapstronaut

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    All...Bemore here hoping to hear some positive responses.
    Going to keep this short and sweet. For a while now I have been looking for a way to discuss this (with full knowledge of this site) “condition”, I’ll call it, to find a way and cope. Naturally I looked in places only I wanted to find which ofcourse didn’t help but now I’ve actually arrived at the tipping point which better suits coming here.
    To pretty it up I label myself obsessed with a fetish; however, this fetish is sold driver to my porn abuse over the years thus I can not be so naive to say I’m not addicted in some form. Almost always occurring in stages from non nude modeling to say “it’s not so bad” to more illicit photos piquing interest then finally lost in hours of hardcore videos.

    Now to the more interesting part of this intro (and shortest I promise) is the focal point of my “condition”. Again like many of you something took hold of me at a young age through curiosity and sunk it’s teeth deep. As truly harmless as it is, I developed a strong fetish for pantyhose that has been so deep rooted and disguises itself as an obsession. More so the beauty of them on women is the obsession but you get the point. From legs to feet to heels to encasement I can never get enough!

    Lastly, the self-control is what makes this increasingly hard because of the prevalence of attractive with gorgeous legs who wear pantyhose. Obviously on the surface I’m as calm as open water but underneath my blood is boiling! It’s creepy to stare and wouldn’t even think about looming in for touch but I’ll sneak a peek. Hopefully she notices and accepts it as a compliment sometimes not so accepted. However, I digress, with very limited outlets for this I turn to pictures and before long there is overindulgence and relapse.

    I am lost for how to release this cycle. For the past month I went hard mode but cheated a couple times looking at porn haven’t MO...yet. Currently in flat line as well (unless I see something) but staying strong so far. Sorry I know I said short and sweet
     
    kropo82 likes this.
  2. GripLess

    GripLess Fapstronaut

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    In my opinion, you need to stop sugar coating your problem. Obsession, fetish, addiction, its all the same thing. You are addicted to a sexual stimulant plain and simple. That addiction is having a negative effect on you life and youd like to change it. This isnt something that you can simply "like to change". You have to truly want change. Demand change. Know that without change things in your life will not improve. I know your looking for possitive encouragement and support, but none of that will help if you dont hit this head on.

    I cant much help with the fetish issue as i dont have one in particular. However, i believe, like other addictions you need to change your thinking about it. As you proceed with your no PMO journey the obsession will decrease.
     
    jobbyj likes this.
  3. Bemore Simms

    Bemore Simms New Fapstronaut

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    Well yes and no. I have put much thought into this and wrote it jokingly but the issue IS the fetish. I just wanted to introduce what I was going through here but I have identified and begun a process to rectify the issue. It will just take time, patience, and control. I say porn “abuse” because it is not the porn that I am obsessed with, it is just easier; I am able and have done in the past looked at varied mediums of pictures and videos of women in pantyhose just to see if that were the case and it is! Controlling this urges is the mission
     
  4. GripLess

    GripLess Fapstronaut

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    Well, the jokingly part didnt come through. The fetish isnt the issue, your reaction to it is the issue. Its nit thw legs, the pantyhose, high heals or anything else. Its how your brain sees them. What may help is for you to recall why you have that fetish. As you abstain rom PMO in all forms, fetish or not, you will reboot and rewire to whats natural. Its your choice what to do with it from there.
     
  5. agree with this line of thinking
     
    GripLess likes this.
  6. Bemore Simms

    Bemore Simms New Fapstronaut

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    You're right. It is definitely reaction which I believe I stated in the original post followed by saying controlling my sexual urges is exactly what was the next step. I initially said that my fetish was the problem because it is the trigger to my urges and because it is almost always around the possibility to be triggered is extremely high. But, it seems we on the same page or atleast saying the same thing because I have identified what the issue is and just wanted to bring my experience here for anyone else going through the same. I have also how easily it was to implement change once I stopped giving bs excuses. Stopped looking at porn, vastly reduced the imagery I am exposed to, and for the triggers/urges I have found other ways to channel that energy to getting back on the right track. The fetish, however, will always remain, I am comfortable with it (not that I have a choice per se) and see progress in maturing to where it can be enjoyed without the effects of destroying my mind to reach counterfeit sexual satisfaction.
     
  7. GripLess

    GripLess Fapstronaut

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    That sounds far more like a man that knows what hes up against. You will succeed in time. Although the road will be rough.
     
  8. Casper0n

    Casper0n Fapstronaut

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    One thing that has not been addressed: Would you classify this fetish as a natural one (developed very early before porn use), or a conditioned one (developed after porn abuse as the brain seeks other forms of stimulation)? If it's the former, than abstention will not eliminate this fetish as it's been implied in this thread. If it's the later, than it will eventually fade after abstention.
     
  9. Bemore Simms

    Bemore Simms New Fapstronaut

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    It is indeed the former. I believe I have even stated above that I have always had this condition or better yet it’s starting to become a fantasy at this point because I don’t see enough women doing it or am afraid to open up about it. This is something that has not been and is not reinforced by porn but due to lack of prevalence in my personal life I discovered a branch of something that piqued my curiosity enough to explore it. Even before porn I’ve always been drawn to women in pantyhose.
     
  10. iwillmakeit15

    iwillmakeit15 Fapstronaut

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